Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Elderly parents

DM defrauded - lost £1000’s!

34 replies

Cocteautriplet · 24/08/2024 18:43

DM is in late 80’s and lives alone (but close by) in sheltered accommodation.
She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and dementia last year ( sort of by accident … but that’s another story!) but she is normally very ‘with it’ and together. Her memory is actually better than mine! We were beginning to think that the diagnosis was a mistake … until yesterday when she acted completely out of character.

Yesterday she was a victim of a £14k fraud / burglary carried out by two individuals pretending to be from her bank: one on the phone and one who turned up at her door. They worked together to rob my mother under the guise of transferring her account to a new branch that they claimed ‘would opening nearby next month’.
In total they took £14k from her current account, £250 of cash she had in the house, and her iPad complete with her card reader and her banking pin 😩

If I’m being fair, the stars were probably more than averagely aligned for the fraudsters… Mum hates having to go by bus to her most local bank branch since they closed several months ago and so her interest in having a new local bank was piqued from the get go. Also she had recently been chatting with a neighbour about a mobile branch of Barclays that had been around locally and so when the fraudsters suggested coming round to ‘help her’. She didn’t think it too odd.

I am stunned however that she didn’t suspect anything was up until the fraud was well and truly underway - she watches all those daytime tv programmes with Gloria Hunniford about scams and we always tell her not to give out her banking details to anyone even if talking to the actual bank but yesterday she just stunned us. For one she gave out her card number on the phone including pin, secondly when asked about recent transactions on her card she just handed over her stash of cash for the thief to count as she’d got it out of the wall the day before and thirdly she let the guy walk off with her iPad under the guise of checking something in his van! It’s pretty shocking tbh. Shamefully I was so annoyed with her when she told me and I had to try very hard to keep calm and not get mad at her .. with hindsight they worked hard to confuse her with a intense two pronged attack and I feel terrible for her now… I was just so shocked that a normally sensible person would do all those things! I’m grateful of course that she was not harmed in any way and shaken about how things could have gone another way so maybe it was good she complied?

Thankfully the bank will make good the money taken and her contents insurance should cover the iPad and cash and it looks like the police have found footage of the thieve on cctv. We disabled the iPad as soon as we knew it was gone. Going forward I really need to set some parameters in place so this can’t happen again and she agrees this is for the best. I already have power of attorney but need to put this into practice with the bank. I have suggested to her, and she agrees, that I do all her Internet banking from now on and she will not be privy to the log on information or hold the reader. Instead of her having her debit card we are going to transfer a set amount a month onto a pre paid card and I will get out small amounts of cash for her when she needs it ( she pays her cleaner by cash and likes to use cash when out and about). Does this seem reasonable? I don’t want to clip her wings too much as she is still very independent and enjoys eating out, buying clothes and knick knacks etc but I feel she does need protecting from herself and others.

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 24/08/2024 19:47

Cocteautriplet · 24/08/2024 19:40

Im so sorry to other posters whose relatives have been scammed. We notice they seem to target mum’s building like wasps to honey as it’s sheltered accommodation. I agree totally that they should have cameras on the door. They have a manager but is absolutely useless and hardly there.

I’m definitely looking up the phone service that lets you filter calls - thank you!

This is what my mum uses for the phone:
https://community.talktalk.co.uk/t5/Articles/About-CallSafe/ta-p/2204784

I'm sure other providers have similar.

About CallSafe

Wouldn't it be nice to pick up your home phone, always knowing it's a call you really want? No nuisance callers, no sales pitches, no scammers. We're helping you get just that. All you have to do is switch on your FREE CallSafe.  To switch CallSafe on,...

https://community.talktalk.co.uk/t5/Articles/About-CallSafe/ta-p/2204784

Cocteautriplet · 24/08/2024 19:59

Knotaknitter - I’m so sorry to hear that. These people are scum indeed! Did they catch the coacher?

OP posts:
Redglitter · 24/08/2024 20:13

In your Mums defence any possible dementia may have had no bearing on it. I wouldn't go panicking about her deteriorating based on this

I work for the Police & people far younger and way more tech savvy have been scammed of a lot more. These guys are literally professionals. They'll have realised from your Mums reaction that a new bank opening was the perfect hook

They're so clever in their tactics and plausible with what they say - which is why they're so successful. Their victims won't all be elderly ladies

I.hope your Mums OK & realises it wasn't her fault

Knotaknitter · 24/08/2024 20:21

It was 2019 but I'm struggling now to recall the detail - it's been a rough five years. I know the police were involved and the only reason it came to light so quickly was that a tradesman working in the house overheard enough to be concerned. I was on holiday when it was discovered and by the time I got back no-one wanted to speak about it. I think it was about £15k, a shock to me as I didn't think she had any savings at all.

Sailawaygirl · 24/08/2024 20:24

Agree with others that this is less to do with your mum having dementia and more to do with how persuading and forceful these scamers can be!
From what you have said her dementia doesn't seem to be too advanced as she can clearly go out shoping, knows what money is and what things should cost and she was able to tell you about the scam after.
Often on brain scans there can be lots of damage and the person still functioning ok , it depends on what bit of the brain has been damaged. Some times it's only a small change in the 'wrong bit of brain and that has a hudge affect ( damage in language area for example has big impact )

PermanentTemporary · 24/08/2024 20:39

It's lucky I'm not in charge of the justice system because I would happily see scammers like this put to death.

Don't blame your mum or worry that she is now totally unable to cope just because she's been turned over by these professionals, but I think the protections you are putting in place are nonetheless very sensible. She's just that bit more vulnerable. But I've been scammed, so was my dad, when we were both a bit emotionally vulnerable bit otherwise fully competent. They are good at what they do.

Newname7 · 24/08/2024 20:59

My dad has dementia - he is now in a home
but before that we gave him a monzo card which could be topped up from an app and we could see all his transactions in real time (useful if you think she may ever go walkabout as things progress)

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 25/08/2024 09:50

Cocteautriplet · 24/08/2024 19:01

Thank you - I guess what threw me was that she acted completely out of character… can dementia get worse very quickly like that? I was expecting a more measured progression iykwim?
I’m now wondering if it was more likely that the fraudsters sort of hypnotised her into doing what they wanted? When she called me to tell me what had just happened she was saying ‘I’m sure this is ok but I just had this call / visit from the bank and I gave them my bank details’.

These despicable people know exactly how to make themselves sound utterly honest, trustworthy, and so ‘nice’!

The woman who first sucked a neighbour of ours into a ‘lottery’ scam that bled her of £100k, had told her in such a pleasant, helpfully friendly way that she worked for NatWest bank.

MovingShadowS · 28/08/2024 17:35

Suggest getting power of attorney for health & wealth in place

Or make it a joint account with your name on it as well

You are not supposed to just take over someone else's online banking, without following the correct protocol

Secondly, get a new account set up with new PIN & login details that are different from the previous account. The bank should help you to do this.

Sympathy & Good luck

New posts on this thread. Refresh page