Inheritance discussion

[Petlover19]

My mother had a daughter before her marriage to my dad (I’m the only full blood sibling of the marriage). My half sister has put forward that she wants 50% of my parents assests. She didn’t have the best childhood. My folks want us to negotiate together what we want in their wills before they draw them up. Currently She has a much higher amount of capital than me. I feel awkward asking for a higher percentage of their assets. They have quite a lot of assets between them. What would you do?

Depends if she was brought up by your father as his daughter? If so 50:50. If not 75:25 in your favour.
unless she will inherit from her own paternal family in which case 75:25 stands.

Need more info. Was she adopted?

Yes she was adopted

• she has a good relationship with my dad but he didn’t bring her up

How much are they leaving?

You have two identical threads, ask MN to delete one?

How do I do that - I tried

The bigger question is how your dad would like to divide the cash. It’s his call not anyone else’s and it’s unfair to put the responsibility on to you.

her present wealth and your present wealth is irrelevant to the will.

yes it is really

I don’t really want to answer that in a thread

What's your objection to 50/50? Perhaps that's simplest all round.

Your parents are wrong to put this on you.

Yes it maybe

Wow.
Your parents are being crazy putting the two of you in the position of 'negotiating' your share of the inheritance!

They should decide what's fair and just give you what they think that is, taking into account whatever they think are the pertinent issues.

This way isn't negotiation, it's two siblings in the position of putting each other on the spot and having to pit their own self interest against the other's, and the outcome is less likely to be a balanced and fair assessment and more likely to be the result of who is more inclined to dig their heels in / stamp their foot / not want to seem greedy etc etc.

I can't imagine a strategy more likely to damage your relationship and cause resentment!

Obviously inheritances can do that anyway but, that's usually if the deceased have blatantly favoured someone or some ruthless type spits the dummy out and drags everyone into a nasty fight... rarely if the parents try to be fair and the siblings accept their wishes without dispute.

I'd be inclined to talk to your parents and say that being asked to divide the spoils is unpleasant, and due to the emotive disparity in background and too much at stake it can't easily be a calm 'negotiation' and it's highly likely to damage the sibling relationship as it will be nearly impossible to get a decision that both feel is fair.

Tell them that the will should be the expression of their wishes and that is the only way anything is going to feel fair.

If there's a good chance of your half sister inheriting from her adoptive parents then maybe she should receive less from your parents. Whatever the situation, your parents should come to this conclusion themselves, not put it on you two.

You say they have quite a lot of assets. Would 50/50 not give you an adequate inheritance?

In your shoes I’d pass the decision to your Dad.

Fair point

Or, your parents both have half the assets.
Your Dad splits his between all of his kids (just you?). Your mum splits hers between all of her kids (so 25% of everything to you and your sister).
That gives you 75% of the total, and your half sister 25%, plus a possibility of inheriting from elsewhere.

Agree with @DoublePeonies - your Dad & Mum have 50% each & leave to their child(ren). So presumably you would get 75%.

Who adopted her, your dad?

Was she adopted by another couple, so your mother is a birth mother rather than her mother? If she was placed for adoption, then legally she is not your mother's daughter and any inheritance she has coming to her would come through her adoptive family and yours would be 100% from your parents (assuming no other siblings).

Of course, relationships are not so simple so I am not sure what is fair if she has become part of your parents' life. If your father doesn't consider her his daughter but your mother wants to treat her like one in the will, then your sibling should probably get 50% of your mother's share of the inheritance, which would be 25%.

What if one parents passes before the other?

Is your sister likely to inherit anything from her biological father?

How old was she when your parents married?

You say she was adopted but your dad didn't raise her, which doesn't make sense.

Either way, your parents should just make their own decision rather than passing on the responsibility to you, and you and your sister shouldn't even be talking about who will get what when they are dead.

When did she come back into your/your mums life?

How stressful! Hope you sort things amicably OP

What a ridiculous position for your parents to put you in.

I've never heard of anyone being expected to "negotiate" their inheritance so it could be written into a will.

Assuming your sister was adopted by your dad, or was brought up by him then starting point would be 50:50 split.

The fact there even is this "negotiation" and that your sister is opening with more than half means there is likely some pertinent information we don't have here.

If you are very wealthy and your sister is struggling and her receiving more than 50% would make a huge difference to her life, maybe that would be a sensible idea. But circumstances change and even then I might assume 50:50 and you could always vary the will to give her a higher share at the time if you wanted.

If that's not the case and your sister thinks she deserves more than 50% to compensate for a disadvantaged childhood then I'd disagree with that suggestion. Inheritance isn't there to make up for lack of family. 50:50 split would still fly imo.

Is it actually the value of the estate you are meant to be negotiating over rather than eg individual pieces of jewellery, furniture whatever that can't be cut in half in the way money can?