Oh help, Dad just failed the “draw a clock” test

[Zapx]

The numbers mostly looked okay, but it had “segments” so it kind of looked like a pizza, and the minute hand was in the wrong place.

He was there because we’d noticed little things that were a bit weird, that were a lot of the time to do with spelling. He’s always been great with words, loves crosswords etc so when he couldn’t spell things it was a bit of a red flag. (He gets mixed up between beach / beech etc) He’s got lost a couple of times too which is unlike him.

Difficult not to panic really, but trying to be practical. They were thinking of moving nearer me so that will hopefully happen sooner rather than later. Anyone got any “best practices” ideas for supplements/diet etc that would help him? He’s only in his 60s.

I know he won't want to move and doesn't want a hearing aid but can you put your foot down on these ?
My DP mum refused to do both of these things and is now virtually in house arrest as she is stuck at home alone, DP and his siblings visit once a week but can't do more due to work and she's deaf so can't hear properly for phone calls or TV but still doesn't admit it. She's declined horribly and now can't move into any sort of accommodation they can find and doesn't understand she's declined so won't agree to go to a care home. It's a bloody nightmare. She'll end up distressed and confused when she is eventually moved against her will because she's unsafe at home. It's heartbreaking because if she'd moved early I think she'd be doing a lot better

I’m sure the thing I’ve read that wards off ageing etc is exercise -a daily walk he knows the route of could be a good thing to start.

I came here to say POA asap!

Navigating future care without one would be horrendous

Yep...another one urging you to get a POA now before he loses capacity! Also put accounts in joint names ie phone, bank, Internet and set up direct debits for payments from his bank. Males it all so much easier to administer.

Ask the social prescriber from his GP surgery to help you apply for Attendance Allowance.

Read 'Contented Dementia'. It's really helped us understand how to handle certain situations. My Dad has been diagnosed for a year and has no idea he has dementia. We just play along and enter his world.

If he struggles with the words he's trying to get out, say something like "I can see that you can picture it in your head. Can you describe what you can see?" that usually helps him and jogs his memory for the word or gives us a clue to guess what he's trying to say.

We set up a joint account to pay Attendance Allowance into. We are currently not spending much of it but the plan is to use it to pay for cleaners, home help etc eventually.

My Dad goes out on the bus daily to the shops. I'm certain it helps him.

He can't have a proper to and fro conversation any more (just relies on a bank of the same conversations which we pretend is the first time we've heard him say it), can't use a cash point, can't use his smartphone anymore but, as it's part of his routine, catches the bus and goes food shopping every day. We think that has helped him mentally more than anything.

We put Life360 on his smartphone so we can track where he is in case he needs us. Plus, it gives us a history of where he goes so if he ever wanders off, those are the first places we will check.

Obviously, keep an eye on it because the quicker they are placed on tablets such as Memantine, it can help slow the progression of the disease, if it is Dementia.

Here is what I learned and used over time when looking after my Mum and Dad who both had Dementia.

Meditterean Diet research shows is very good, mainly what you are looking to give them is a lot of good fat for the brain. Coconut oil helps on its own but can be used for cooking. The most basic, making sure they drink plenty of water.

Supplements I gave to my parents, were Vitamin D3, Tumeric (because neither one liked to have it in food), Lions Mane and a supplement I would buy from a specialist retailer called Cognitive Enhancer.

In terms of day-to-day try and make sure they remain as independent as possible, it is easy for people to start to do things for them but they need to continue doing tasks for themselves.

Exercise daily like a good walk or gardening and then using his brain. My Dad would sit for hours and do word searches, my Mum would sew. Maybe your Dad likes to do the crossword, sudokus or jigsaw puzzles anything that stretches the brain.

Do some research on both TikTok and YouTube. A great place to start is to search for 'reversing Dementia'. I am not saying that you can reverse it but there are some incredibly informative accounts by Neuroscientists who are researching Dementia and have found some important discoveries. There are also personal accounts from people who have seen a reduction in either their own Dementia symptoms or those of a family member.

Whether your father has Dementia or not, I am keeping everything crossed that he does not. All of the above suggestions will do nothing but good for both of your parents so no harm for them to try some things out.

Good luck, this is always a worrying time with ageing parents, my thoughts are with you.

There is a very strong link between deafness and dementia. It has made a huge impact on my mum’s cognition to get hearing aids. She was completely against them too, I wish I had known about the dementia risk earlier as I would have used that angle.

Please don't turn to Tiktok and YouTube for advice. There is zero evidence for any sort of supplements or exercise plan reversing the symptoms or the disease progression. Until last year there were also no drug treatments which can slow progression. Current treatments including memantine and aricept will improve symptoms somewhat for a short while (no effect on progression) but come with side effects. Last year a drug called Leqembi was approved for early Alzheimer's in the US and does have a modest effect on disease progression. So this represents a breakthrough in treating the disease. The decision on approval in the EU is due this summer. Other similar drugs are in development - see link below. Keep an eye on this as someone with early symptoms may be eligible for this type of treatment.

Alzheimer's society

Of course a healthy lifestyle, keeping an active mind and a good diet are known to decrease risk for developing Alzheimer's and might help with some of the early symptoms. But no more than that.

From my experience of looking after two parents full-time for many, many years with dementia, the appalling help you get from the NHS, which is close to zero, means you need to turn to other sources for help.

The Alzheimer's Society and Dementia UK can be helpful, and I can't remember which one, but there is a helpline staffed by nurses who are lovely. However, I did find the advice can be very general and often doesn't fit what you are trying to work through.

YouTube and TikTok were my friends when it came to looking after my parents. Reading current research that hasn't reached mainstream treatment plans was helpful, but you have to dig deep. Also, listening to people's personal experiences and what worked for them or their family members helped me to develop a regime, particularly for my Dad.

It is all well and good to tell people to avoid these resources. I am crossing everything for you that your father has something that can be treated easily. However, if it is dementia, it is a long, lonely road, and if you are anything like me, you become desperate to try and help your loved ones in any way. I cannot tell you how many times, firstly, trying to get access to an expert is nigh on impossible, but when I finally did, they were rarely able to answer my questions.

I turned to supplements and diet out of desperation after extensive research and listening to people's stories. For example, the cognitive enhancer that a nutritionist advised my Dad to take. I would see a definite decline when he wasn't taking it because it was often out of stock, compared to when he did.
I stick by what I said, if he does have dementia, then the tablets can help. For example, my father took Memantine, and while it can have side effects (he never suffered any). They introduce it very slowly, increasing the dosage gradually. From just a simple Google search, you can see that Mayo Clinic writes about Memantine.

"Memantine may help slow the decline in memory and thinking skills. It also may play a role in protecting nerve cells. Memantine is approved to treat moderate to severe Alzheimer's disease. It's usually taken as a pill or liquid twice a day or as an extended-release pill once a day."

There are a lot of different tablets now compared to when my father was first diagnosed.

You have been given great advice about infections and problems with his ears. Those can be a contributing factor to a change in behaviour in ageing parents so ruling out anything else is the first step. Also, what I learned, the hard, way is symptoms and the way they react are very different and I had to get used to picking up on different signs particularly around behaviour.

I think you sound like a wonderful daughter, and I wish you all the best.