Packing to cope with care home laundry

[Frankinsenseless]

DM is going into a care home within days so I’m packing her bags.

I’ve read threads that say the care home laundries wash clothes on a super hot wash. Is this true in your case? I might have to buy DM some more clothes as her wardrobe seems to exist entirely of clothes that say a 30 degree wash. And a cool iron. 🤦‍♀️

TIA

Get the arm of the frame engraved with your mums name. Specsavers do this when they visit (and sell!) new glasses.
Hasn’t helped at all for us, the engraving is so small no one sees it! Over £700 worth of glasses gone within a year. We now buy multiple pairs from glasses direct and sharpie them.

That’s a fantastic story! Love it! Mum actually likes the Tesco PJs so, hey, it’s a whole new sartorial venture.

@Mum5net that's a lovely story, and my MIL's (council run) home had similarly lovely staff. Whenever I visited (and they didn't have prior notice) my MIL was dressed beautifully in her favourite skirts, blouses and jackets. All perfectly coordinated.
My SIL and I both lived 2-3 hours away, so if she needed anything new, the home would call to ask permission to buy the items. And they went to great trouble to buy in her favourite colours, and things that would complement what she already had. Even when MIL 's dementia was such that she seemed almost unaware of her own existence.

There was so much love in that home. And the carers had almost all worked there for many years.

Never believe that council run homes are inferior. My mum's Bupa home was crap. I'd turn up to visit her in the afternoon and she'd still have clumps of dried up cereal round her mouth from breakfast. And as it was all run for profit, the staff were paid peanuts and lasted months rather than years. Nobody gave a damn.

When your loved one changes personality and starts attacking you the only safe place is a carehome. Sometimes you don't have a choice.

That doesn’t make the care home any more enticing for the “loved one”!

Well, she’s in. And unsettled. And I’m slightly traumatised due to her behaviour and the care staff have been lovely. I’ve had to go home to be with my own children so good luck to the care home. Thanks for your support; it’s been good to chat with people who have already been there.

Why? Surely she should have all her favourite clothes with her? Who else is going to wear her clothes in your home?
‘If she’s used to Jaeger and Hobbs, I can’t see her wanting to wear F+F and Asda’s finest!

Having worked in numerous care homes it really does depend on who does the laundry.

most care homes have laundry staff only, carers don’t do it, and they’re a dab hand at it as it’s what they do, day in, day out.

im not aware of anything being washed on hot washes apart from towels.

I’ve not known anything to be ruined, however it’s probably not advisable to send in wool or anything that needs a certain wash setting

I'm sure the carers will do their best to reassure her. My mother was very unsettled to begin with, it is such an unfamiliar environment. But within a few weeks she told me she loved it there.

It is horrible to have to make the decision to move a relative to a care home, but as as a PP said sometimes there is no choice. Best wishes to you.

Occasionally Mum is wearing clothes that I don't think are her's (my SIL's sometimes buy clothes so I can't be sure) but she has never been in anything that wasn't the type of clothes that she liked and wore. Mostly cotton traders/edinburgh woollen mill type. Staff are also generally good at getting residents to pick their clothes, hence why the outfits are not always matching or perfectly put together. My Dad ended up wearing poloshirts and joggers as he got distressed at being helped to dress and this was all he could manage himself. I remember one day going in when his dementia was pretty advanced and a carer was encouraging him to chose between a red and a green poloshirt with with way more patience than I could have managed.

And I've met some amazing teenage Kitchen Porters, in particular one who realised why my Dad was so upset at dinner one day when there was an unusually high number of agency staff. He told them and they were able to sort it straight away.

Yours must be a well managed home that your DM can be admitted over the holiday weekend. Many places only have a skeleton staff at weekends so that's hugely encouraging they had senior staff able to offer her reassurance. She will have a 'named' member of staff who looks out for her especially.

Not going to lie, it is a bit tough when you leave her behind at first. However, it does get much easier. After a few weeks you will start to know people by name, residents, staff and visitors. You just need to focus on how much safer she is with people around 24/7.

Because she’s had a stroke, is doubly incontinent and gets through 3 changes of clothes per day even with pads. And her nice trousers are dry clean only. HTH.

Agree and you can even sharpie on dentures !

That's so depressing

It’s not universal. My father hasn’t lost any clothes (admittedly it’s easier for men as there’s fewer if them) and the nursing home try hard to maintain weight, it’s not till now, 4 years later and near end of life, that he’s started to lose weight.

I can remember my DH being reduced to tears when we went to visit MIL in her care home. She was wearing mismatched clothes, none of which were hers. We checked the labels and they belonged to a resident who had died. We moved her after that.

@bradpittsbathwater my nan lost weight because she was obese when she went in, and started to eat, healthy nutritious food. Unfortunately, she then progressed with the dementia and then she physically couldn't eat anymore. Her brain basically forgot what to do when she ate, so she was on a liquid diet.

Dementia is depressing...

@Frankinsenseless How are you both coping with the new arrangements.

Mum has her glasses on a chain so she doesnt lose them,but this may not work for some patients. Its early days for us..only 2 weeks..but cant fault the care side of it. She chooses her clothes for the next day each evening and the carer lays them out for her. So far no laundry disasters.

Hi @Mum5net Thanks for asking. I’m fine - back in the family fold (teenagers still living at home and on Easter hols) so I’m keeping busy and distracted. DM must be feeling better because she’s apparently complaining about everything.

When mum was in a home I used to take home any of her good clothes and wash them myself. Though I'm retired with no kids so it really wasn't a bother.
Mum always liked to dress nicely and it made her feel good.

My DM has lots of M&S £20 jumpers and trousers and everything has washed up fine.

I replace them every so often when a new colour in the jumper comes out.

Will the care home take the time to put things in mesh laundry bags?

No. IME everything gets chucked in a hot wash.

I'm not sure ours is that bad, but 1 person doing the laundry for 30 residents doesn't leave much time for special instructions.