Mum going into a care home

[YesIwillyesIwillYes]

Please hit me up with your best tips to gelp her navigate the first fee days.

i’m going to drive up to transfer her from hospital to the care home.( I live a 7 hour tound trip away.) I’ll stay locally for a night or two to run errands for her and help her settle in. Unfortunately my family is dysfunctional and of course it’s all kicking off. One particular family member’s behavior is just awful.

i’ve ordered a range of labels for her clothes and personal belongings. I’ve bought her some new nightwear and a new dressing gown. And later on I’m going yo the supermarkrt to shop dor touketries, notepad, pen, tissues etc.

The care home we’re hoping to get will confirm later today. My younger sister viewed it on Saturday and seems to think it fits the bill. Although she was in my opinion too focused on the hair salon and beauty parlour. My mum is keen to go to the care home and she’s been in hospital for 3 weeks. .

I’d be grateful for any help/advice as it looks likely to happen very quickly if they agree to take her.

Going into a care home saved my mums life. She lived very happily there for 5 years. My mum had severe dementia. When it was time to leave after visits I would ask “do you want some cake Mum? Although she forgot everything else she never lost her love of cake. I would then go through some choices, say “i’ll be back in a minute” This way I avoided the difficulty of parting for her.

If they have dementia patients they may only accept liquid soap as some patients try to eat the blocks.
some packets of wet wipes and tissues.
she may have a tv but no aerial but these things you need to check with the care home.
lots of pictures even if her as a younger person is helpful.

The second home my dad was in had a picture board outside each person's room, with photos from throughout their lives and little captions.

It was really good for highlighting things that might be important or anchoring, and giving carers something to talk about. Rather than bland chat about the weather they could ask about the childhood dog, cycling trips over the alps, building jet engines, playing in the Salvation Army brass band, or whatever was in the photos.

Great ideas on here, I agree with OP, I too am feeling a bit tearful with all the good advice

Before doing any of these things (except possibly the photo of patience in their younger days (gulp)) I'd check in with the home. For example, the one my mother was in, provided 'buttons' like a lapel pin with her own identification (initials but made until to each person' which were used for clothing and saved us a very great deal of sewing.

Until -> unique to each

Great tips. Thanks for starting the thread OP.

We got DM a small fridge so she could have cold prosecco pop and chocolate biscuits. Dsis used to keep it stocked up.

I'd second the mini fridge idea. It can be very hot in care homes. We put chocolate and fresh fruit in my DM's

Lots and lots of family photos and visit as often as you can.

I’d buy lots of spare pants bras and nightwear as it can take a while to go through the laundry.

This should be an actual law, I wish everyone did this. I’m a carer and it gives you a hell of a shock sometimes seeing old photos of people back in their heyday. You do get the odd carer having a shitty day that’s the ended up getting impatient with Peter who’s pulled his catheter out and wet his bed for the third time that morning. It’s a visual reminder that he’s a human being and was young once, he didn’t choose to end up in a care home, and that could be you one day. (Used a stock image from a similar thread as an example, haven’t breached work confidentially before anyone asks)

He looks rather sad. But very handsome.

Agree mini fridge. Keeps cans of juice and wee bottles of wine nice and cold.
Mum has loads of her favourite pictures,books,some furniture from her house,and a couple of stuffed toys that she likes. A digital clock that also states the day of the week and the month is useful. A pack of notelets and some stamps. Lip balm. Favourite mug.