Your DM has hit the jackpot in having both Alzheimer's and vascular dementia.
We cannot give her any medication - due to her asthma/ diverticulitis plus her condition is quite advanced (I did not realise this) so would be if very little help.
I'm so sorry to hear this @adviceatthislatestage .It's a very tough situation when someone you love has dementia.
At this stage there probably isn't much more advice to give (beyond that given already above about LPAs etc). If you didn't realise your mother's condition is advanced and given what you said about what she said, it sounds like she is currently doing ok - which is a good thing.
Sadly, what it becomes is watching someone slowly and incrementally lose their memory, mental accuity, language, physcial ability - but it all happens in different ways for different people at different paces. & it's so odd how it happens, you look back and you think how did we go from (eg) knowing how to use the vacuum cleaner to literally having no idea how to even plug it in. The answer is slowly.
One thing I would recommend/tell you about [because I found out about if very very late despite having had lots of info from all sorts of places] is the This Is Me form from the Alzheimers Society. You can download it here:
www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites/default/files/2020-03/this_is_me_1553.pdf
As the dementia progresses, most people will have little foibles or things that are particular to them that if recorded can really help people who don't know them look after them. Say a person could be calmed down by giving them their particular cuddley toy to hold or they like to watch sport/opera/fill in the blank.
This form is really helpful - especially if you have a hospital admission for anything unrelated to the dementia - when you need to have carers or other people look after your mother
The only other things that I occur to me to say now (in addition to the points above about hearing/exercise etc):
- that routine is very helpful for people with Alzheimers so if you have the capacity and your mother is still fairly ok mentally, it's no bad thing to try to get her into a system of doing things in a routine way - I'm thinking particularly of personal hygene and getting dressed - that sort of thing.
For example, if I had my time again, I would have instituted a routine of having a shower every day and monitored it - so it became a standard practice as physically capable of having a shower (later it will become needing assistance) but the lack of routine meant it was a strange thing to be resisted. I wish I'd dealt with that differently. It's easier to keep an established routine going than deal with severe resistence.
*if you have an intention to try to keep your mother in her own home (or move her in with you) and occupational health will recommend it (or if private, you can afford it), get any necessary occupational health modifications to your home done now - so that she is familiar with them and can use them from early on as part of her routine - I'm thinking of things like a shower seat or a disabled hand rail attached to the wall to help someone stand up off the toilet. It maybe if she is 90 she has this already but if not worth looking into.