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Elderly parents

What does "care package" actually mean?

55 replies

PinotPony · 30/11/2022 17:58

My elderly uncle is currently in hospital following a fall. He is confused and thinks the nurses are trying to poison him so keeps pulling his iv out.

My aunt cannot cope with him at home. His mobility is very poor but he refuses to use a Walker. He often doesn't make it to the toilet in time. He is quite belligerent and insists that he can do things for himself. His bedroom is upstairs so she has to help him up and down. My aunt is not strong enough to push his wheelchair so my dad will sometimes take his brother out for a walk.

My aunt is coming to the realisation that she does not want him to return home when he is discharged. She is at the end of her tether, absolutely exhausted. Their children support her and intend to talk to him about it together.

She has called SS but they won't get involved until he is medically fit for discharge. The hospital say he'll need a "care package"... but are really vague about it. Does this just mean care at home? I really don't think carers coming into the home will be enough. My poor aunt would still have to deal with him the rest of the time. He needs 24 hour care.

I'd be grateful for any advice on the steps we take to get him into a care home. Surely we don't wait until he's unnecessarily taking up an nhs hospital bed before setting this up?!

OP posts:
LeandraDear · 02/12/2022 11:40

PinotPony · 02/12/2022 08:16

Probably not.... he is quite deluded about his condition. Insists there is nothing wrong with him and that he'll be walking out of hospital next week.

His family will need to sit down with him and tell him some hard truths.

The reason I asked is we had this with a family member. He refused to go into a care home and was assigned a care package which did not meet the needs of a man who was unable to get to the toilet etc without sometimes falling. We don't live close by but another closer family member( who was supposed to be in charge ) did but he ended his days sitting in a pool of shit with a UTI and delirium before admission to hospital and death. Sometimes you have to tell a few white lies to them eg it's just for 6 weeks etc. Best of luck with it all!

PinotPony · 03/01/2023 16:55

Just popping on with an update...

Uncle is still in hospital! No wonder the NHS is drowning.

My aunt found a private care home for him and paid for the first 6 weeks. After a long conversation with him, he came round to the idea on the proviso that he have his own room, own bathroom and a tv.

Cue the "helpful" social worker telling him that he was legally entitled to return to his home if he wanted to, as he owns the property and has capacity. So he changed his mind! It took two physios and a consultant to explain that it wasn't safe for him to go home as he cannot even stand. All the physio over the past weeks hasn't worked.

Then, about 2 weeks ago, he caught covid. It's rife on the wards apparently. He's now refusing to have another test to see if he's negative... probably because he knows that'll mean he is discharged to the care home.

I've no idea what the protocol is for discharging patients into care if they refuse to do a test but hopefully he'll be out of hospital soon. I'm very mindful he's taking up a bed he doesn't need as he is medically fit for discharge.

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 04/01/2023 00:33

OP
you mean your aunt could pay for him to have six weeks in a care home but he didn't agree? Surely that's an improvement on being in hospital - even if he wants to go home, that's not happening?

Juneday · 04/01/2023 14:14

MiL in hospital after fall. Nasty break to ankle, recently diagnosed with dementia, very confused but slowly making more sense, although she is still forgets some things completely and can't cope with learning new skills, hearing aid, new phones etc. Not eating much which has been an issue for months, hand shakes so can't write and won't carry drinks from her kitchen. OT put in special look adaption to her loo a few months ago after doctors appointment where I got her to list all her worries, but they 'fitter' didn't have the right drill for the handrails, he promised to come back months ago. She fell exactly where the handrail was supposed to have been, over a small step in her hall. The hospital rang to talk through her going home, she tells them her son lives with her, he hasn't for 40 years! They asked about her carers, she has none and was turned down for attendance allowance 2 years ago because she was too able, they asked about handrails and will now arrange to put them in. We are hoping for care package of 2 or 3 visits a day - last time she got this for 2 weeks and was more able so she told them not to come any more, she told me all they did was write notes and drink her tea, but she should have allowed them to stay a little long IMHO! From what I gather initial care will be free as before, after which time care in the home is assessed based on income but not value of property and a contribution will be expected over a certain weekly income. Anyone able to confirm or explain more?

MereDintofPandiculation · 05/01/2023 09:43

It sounds as if initially she’ll be getting NHS funded re-ablement care, during which she’ll be assessed as to what level of care she needs. Then she’ll switch over to LA funded care, and she’ll have to contribute financially if her income or savings are too high.

Apply for AA again, if you haven’t already. Maybe get Age UK to help.

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