Moving to Assisted Living/ Retirement Village Flat

[Cameleongirl]

My elderly Dad and Step-Mum have multiple health problems and my Dad is becoming interested in moving to a retirement flat. Has anyone done this with their parents and what were the first steps? Where can we go for advice, or should we just start checking out local places?

If your parents decided to do this, how's it worked out for them? I don't think my step-Mum is as keen, but Dad wants to start looking into it so at least they know their options. They could stay in their bungalow if they don't find what they want.

Buy in services for them, if they can afford, less hassle than moving

I can see the logic, @Nsky, but my Dad doesn't want to stay in their house!

Oh that sounds much more likely to be successful than my Mum's experience. Best of luck, I hope they find somewhere nice.

www.extracare.org.uk/?

My Dad moved in to one of these Extra Care Villages in 2020. It is lovely. It's very modern. On site, there is a restaurant, a ballroom for shows, a carvery, a bar, a gym, and a little shop for provisions. He has made lots of friends to drink with and watch whatever shows are on.
Each flat has it's own front door, and is self contained. The kitchens and bathrooms are super modern. He has a huge balcony to sit on in the summer. There are red pull cords in every room, in case he has a fall (he's not that unsteady tho). Every morning, he needs to call a number by 11am, to "check in" - if he doesn't do this, a person is at his door to check he is okay.

He has a cleaner once a week, and I do his Asda shop on-line for him (I am not local to him - he wanted to stay in his home town, and luckily this care facility was nearby).

He half owns his flat and rents the other half. When he dies, the facility buy the flat back, you don't have to "sell" it yourself. The facility does most of the paperwork and they work with a solicitor who specialises in this type of property.

There are several Villages in the UK. Thoroughly recommend.

@BlondeDogLady That sounds fantastic! Just looked and sadly none near us. Brilliant that your Dad is so happy though.

Thanks @BlondeDogLady, I’ve been looking at their website today. It sounds like the type of setup that would suit my Dad-someone checking in with him every day. There isn’t one really close to Dad’s current location, but there’s one near a city he loves. Definitely worth a look, thank you!

Look carefully at how the finances work. Especially charges for care and what point they become “
Too much to stay here “ as it’s not a care / nursing facility.

This move is easy. The next one won’t be.

Also when they do have to leave / die how do you sell the flat. On the whole it’s a bit like static caravans - you sell through the building company and get little bsbk PLUS the service charge continues when the flat is empty

So with my Aunt having made the decision to move, we looked in detail at nearby 'villages' - two that would be suitable - and the one village has two McCarthy & Stone developments.

The one is new build - pretty glam, massive resident's lounge and bistro, 24 hour care and a huge service charge. She was totally overwhelmed by it - although it quite appealed to me!

The second is around five years old, much smaller, and there is a lovely GF flat available - lovely, bright and sunny - and her offer has been accepted. All happened so quickly! Much 'softer' resident's lounge - but lovely and well kept. No 24 hour on site presence - just office hours - but emergency pull contact, and she's very happy.

So the hard work begins! Toby jugs anyone?

No specific recommendations but there’s good evidence from “older” markets (Australia and US) that retirement villages keep people out of £££ care homes for much longer as the accommodation is so much better suited to their stage of life, and they are much less socially isolated which contributes to decline.

As others have echoed, some of the flashy developers are very greedy with their fees and I would avoid situations where you need to pay a huge exit fee, service charges AND to pay the developer/operator to sell once your relative moves out of the unit.

That's good to hear @Porridgeislife - and totally makes sense. The planning has given my Aunt a new lease of life (and me more grey hairs!), but she's excited to move somewhere that she can make new friends, and where some lovely shops/cafes are a hundred metres away.

M & S - I understand - charge 1% of the sale fee which goes into a sinking fund for the development. I think that's fair enough, if you know upfront. We are buying this re-sale through an independent agent, although I can see that M & S have a couple of re-sales on the same site, and the prices seems to be significantly higher. I suppose if they have someone paying the service charge until the property is sold, it's no issue to them, and I suspect they're also protecting the prices of the new development down the road.

[quote Cameleongirl]@Choux That sounds ideal, I'm so glad your parents have found such a nice place to live. The restaurant would be a bonus for my Dad, they have Meals on Wheel and can still cook themselves, but he doesn't enjoy it!

@PermanentTemporary I don't think it's really that Dad doesn't like people coming in, it's the house and garden itself that worries him. He doesn't want to take responsibility for anything anymore, despite having a cleaner and gardener. He wants to be looked after! My SM's health is worse than his now so she really can't share the mental load, IYSWIM.

I don't fully understand why he feels this way, but he's elderly and unwell, so I just want him to be happy.[/quote]
Maybe he could upgrade from a cleaner to a home help . My mum has a combination of a cleaner plus a home help who comes in to help cook /shop/ take her out. It works very well.

My friends who have parents who have moved to retirement flats have loved it and wished they'd done it sooner.

My parents live in one of the extracare retirement villages. They bought their place but there is a big mix of rented and bought I think. They absolutely love it and it is a bit like the Thursday Murder Club! There are big charges each week but then it covers all the bills. They are so happy there it's been worth it.