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Elderly parents

What to do after a death/ what did you need to know that you didn't?

29 replies

Theas18 · 17/01/2015 11:23

Mum still hanging on in there but I'm sitting in their house overwhelmed even by the thought of clearing this. I don't think I'll be very good at the rest!

I have power of attorney etc for both jointly with my sister and her accountant husband - he I hope is aware of the financial stuff but I guess I need to know more about this ?

Funerals are paid. I know where the paperwork is.

I am executor so I guess I need to look into this. There are wills in place

A list of helpful links / personal suggestions for before / after would be really helpful from those who've been here.

Many thanks and hoping this isn't being too morbid.

OP posts:
Theas18 · 28/01/2015 10:00

Needmore that is really interesting. Thanks I might quietly discontinue some of her heaps of junk mail now.Or better still get my sis to do it whilst she's here!

Fortunately they aren't tecchy at all so there aren't email accounts and I assume utilities are easier?

OP posts:
Needmoresleep · 28/01/2015 11:00

My experience was that utilites weren't necessariy easier. In general if you got someone in the UK not only would you get a lot of sympathy, but you were also likely to hear how their aunt had dementia.....

Overseas call centres were very different, going by the book and demanding POA etc. Honestly it was much easier to pretend to be my mum.

One thing I did was to type up a series of letters for her to sign to banks, pension companies and utility companies changing the address so things could come to me, and where possible giving me permission to speak to the supplier. Banks can give you third party mandate forms that your parents need to sign, which give you access to the account (and internet banking) without a POA being in place.

Pensions are important. My mums widows pension regularly sends out a form requiring her to get someone to sign that they have seen her and, effectively that she is still alive. If this went to her nothing would happen and the pension would cease.

I really advice that your Dsis goes to Rymans and buys a big level arch folder, a hole punch and lots of file dividers, then collects all the paperwork she can find and file by: tax; pensions; banks; utilities; things like funeral plans, National Trust memberships, ClubCards etc; wills; insurance; premium bonds etc. then go through ensuring you (probably but not so bad as it can be done from home) have access to each and every.

One thing I have been doing slowly is to move my mothers money to from longer term to easy access accounts. If need be get your parents to sign things like ISA transfer forms and have everything in an ISA account connected with her main bank account.

Also check if any tax returns are needed. I made contact with HMRC before their computer noticed that things were awry. There was still a formal investigation but we avoided some of the punative fines that could have been levied.

She should bring over her lap top and buy a PAYG dongle.

Whilst she is over think about making appointments with four local estate agents to come at half hourly intervals to value the house, tell you what works might be done to realise maximum value, and whether rental is a possibility in the short term. (Great for me as it gave me breathing space, allowed my mum to believe she could return home "when she was better" and gave me a deadline for house clearance.) This will give you a much better idea of what the market is like, and enable you and your Dsis to start making plans.

Once you have the numbers do a quick calculation to see whether you might be in inheritance tax territory, though like mansion tax I assume this is mainly a southern issue. Bills need to be settled within two months so this needs to be planned for. Its also useful to know how much money is available for private care.

Awful, I know, but also a chance to speak to funeral directors or the vicar (who in turn shoud be able to recommend funeral directors), gather together a list of people to be informed, venues for any funeral reception (sadly it will probably be the last time you see many from the extended family so worth doing well) and also make sure you know who the executor is. If it is a lawyer the more you do now the less they will charge. It all needs doing at some point. Plus my dads executor failed to do simple things like close bank accounts.

That and visit care homes...

Lots, but at least it will give your Dsis a sense of how much there is beyond the hospital visiting and care.

Draylon · 09/02/2015 10:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Needmoresleep · 09/02/2015 11:13

I am sorry for your loss.

My dad's solicitor was pretty rubbish and three years on when I started handling my mums affairs, I found several accounts were still open, and this was despite him providing a clear and up to date list of his assets shortly before his death. My accountant reckoned we were very lucky not to face HMRC fines on the continuing income.

My cousin says that the Government website

www.gov.uk/wills-probate-inheritance/overview and helpline were great and that he did not have any problems doing things himself. However he was an only child. As it is I am stuck with the same rubbish solicitor as executor for my mum so am absolutely determined to make things so simple that she cannot justify exorbitant costs, though at about £300 ph it wont be cheap whatever way. However it should help ensure that there are no family arguments.

Another small tip which I dont think I noted above, is that Estate Agents who are also letting agents are often in a good position to recommend local workmen. So get them in early to value the property, as them about the work that needs doing and who might do it.

However this presumably depends on how quickly you need to sell the house. Given your mum will have your dads IHT allowance you should not have any IHT liability. Depending on what agents say it might make sense to sort probate, do any necessary works and then sell the house.

My understanding is that Estate Agents provide market valuations, eg optimistic ones. If you need to value a property for probate you use a valuation surveyor, eg one of those people who value for mortgages etc. But posisbly it wont matter if you ae nowherre near the IHT threshold.

Estate Agents also always seem to know men with vans. You might first see what a hospice of charity shop will take away, but otherwise ask them if they can recommend a man with a van/house clearance man. (Usually the same.)

Do add any tips you find, and good luck.

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