Being an only child sucks

[MrsWhirling]

I wish I had a sibling who could help me care for my lovely elderly parents. My mum has an important appointment at the hospital this morning & I cant be with her due to having a newborn baby. English isn't their first language & I'm worried they Wong fully understand what is being said. Feel so sad no-one else could help me to care for them now. Sorry to vent. Just that really xx

MIL is currently in hospital. DH went straight there from work when she was admitted and will visit as often as he can, but missed today because he is working. BIL has not been to hospital or phoned and SIL couldn't go this afternoon because she was going shopping. They both go and see her once a week at home, but as soon as there's a crisis, DH has to sort it out.

It doesn't seem to matter how many there are in the family, this stuff usually comes down to one person.

thats very true rockinD, and IME when the elderly parent dies the person who did everything then has to grieve alone as no one else is too bothered

But the weirdest thing is- it s often the child who does the most who is the brunt of the parents' frustrations. Whereas the one who does least is often seen as the golden child. I think it s because they don t get associated with all the unpleasant stuff that has to be done, and so allow the ailing parent to preserve their self image- themselves as they were before they got old and I'll.

yes that can happen whataboutbob, I was lucky it never happened to me, that would make the pressure worse

I'm very sorry to hear about your mum

But being an only child has nothing to do with it. I live hundreds of miles away from my parents and wouldn't be any help at all to my brother if he was in the same situation as you.

Similarly my dad recently had to real with his elderly father, and his sister was of no help at all. Actually their were rows over his care as the 2 siblings disagreed.

allnew, you're wrong, you may be hundreds of miles away but if you phone regularly, keep in touch and have a real interest in whats happening, your emotional support would be invaluable, even if physically you couldnt be there

But you're assum

Assuming that siblings have a relationship such that they emotionally support one another. That's very often not the case at all

dont I know it

sorry to hear about your mum.

Dh and I cared for his dad when he died at home, where he wanted to be and now we are caring for his mum. Dhs sister was worse than useless when her dad was dying, she just made a horrible situation worse. I have a lovely brother but whenever my parents need help its me that helps, not him.

At least being an only you don't have a sibling who is a negative force in the situation.