dad went suddenly blind at 83: advice please on how to help him

[funnyperson]

I would really like help on where to go for advice on how to support my dad who went blind yesterday. He has been admitted to hospital, very ill, for septicemia which is improving with iv antibiotics but he suddenly lost all sight in one eye and most of the sight in the other yesterday morning. We managed to get the eye specialists to see him urgently they say he has vitreous haemmorhages.
What do we do when he gets home? How best to cope? What will he need? Who do we ask? Help, we are lost here and very sad for him.

I am sure one of the factors has been having the same amazing nurse for three days.
We have been keeping his grandchildren away because they got so upset seeing him on the ventilator. Then each one of them got ill in turn. Now everyone is better but we don't want to tire him out with visitors - we are allowed 2 at a time which seems reasonable really. I and mum are tired. I have had one day each week when I don't go in to visit and this has been very good because otherwise it feels like the ITU has become my whole world even though I have been at work during the day on weekdays. Mum has visited every day and this weekend for the first time she has agreed that she will not visit on Sunday so as to give herself a break and reorientation towards (hooray hopeful hooray) home.
He wont be the same when he comes back. he is very poor sighted and paralysed down one side and weak and so nothing like before he became ill. But at least- oh thank goodness- at least he will be home.

Also- and how human- it is marvellous to be able to say to those members of the family who have been counting their hopeful pennies IYSWIM- that he is getting better!

It now seems that dads jaw was dislocated when he was intubated so he cannot close his mouth.

Ghastliness today with blood streaming from dads mouth after the registrar gashed the inside of his cheek whilst trying to put his jaw back on the unit (unsuccessfully) Dad now has an open mouth with a tongue shrunk to a chickpea and blood caked inside.
To cap it all the nasogastric tube came out yesterday afternoon wasnt put back by this afternoon so he got no fluids or food for over 20 hours so he was frantic with thirst when we saw him and instead of putting the tube back and giving him some fluid they gave him some haloperidol for delirium. He is now half comatose and thirsty.
The only good thing is he is breathing by himself in room air.

I hope you are documenting all this and making PALS aware of the situation - 20 hours without fluids for someone in your dads situation is totally unacceptable.

I'm so glad to hear that he's breathing on his own now - thats huge progress

CMOT there has been so much which is unacceptable that I now feel lost and frightened. How my dad feels is beyond imagining. But I am in despair. I do not think we will ever get through to the staff on this unit and he will simply die a most horrible prolonged and avoidable death.

Your poor poor Dad; this has all been so traumatic for him - and you all. I'm shocked with the poor standards of care that he has recieved .

I hope he continues to make a good recovery....wishing him strength x

Link for PALS

Oh, funnyperson, I had no idea of the scale of what you and your dad have been going through.

(((hugs)))

I am really horrified by the way your Dad has been treated. He must be as tough as old boots to have got through all of this. Please do complain higher up, 20 hours without fluid could have been fatal. It really is negligent. There was a post on here a while ago linking to a story where a man had died from not being given fluid, he became "aggressive" i think, due to the lack of fluids, it was a harrowing and shocking tale and I can't believe your poor Dad is being treated much the same way. I really hope he is at home soon.

It probably will be fatal. I am feeling really low. I am beginning to hate myself for not being able to do anything about it. He was given fentanyl and haloperidol and we were told he wasn't short of fluid even though he was begging for water and had not had any. He is curled up. I am distressed beyond belief. The nurses just want a passive body they can suction and turn without hassle. He has lost 23 kg in 45 days.

I just dont know what to do.

The consultant didnt speak to us at all. He just walked straight past.

Oh, funnyperson I've just popped over from Gardening.

Also just googled "elderly dying of thirst". Print off any one of many articles, wave it in their faces and threaten to sue their wretched arses. So for you.

My DM was allowed to dehydrate in her care home. Keeps them quiet.
I wish you strength to give them hell. Thinking of you and your Dad.

funnyperson My heart is breaking for you and your dad and mother ,and the rest of your loved ones. Thinking you you, be strong.

funnyperson -have you made a formal complaint ?

Please complain ,it will make a difference .

Still thinking of you and your dad, funnyperson.

Well I sent off a complaint in the early hours of this morning. Mum held the fort during the day and when I got into the hospital in the evening dad was sitting up, jaw neatly bandaged and in place, hydrated to perfection and breathing air and looking sprightly. He wanted to know if I had the car keys and when I was taking him home. Three consultants had spoken to mum during the day. Either the complaint worked or else the hospital themselves had sorted their own team out. So happy.

The last consultant came p and said she was really pleased dad was better and said he was tougher than he looked.
In my complaint I did mention about dad loosing over 20 kg in 4 weeks in hospital and the dietician saw mum today and upped his nasogastric feed by 30%.
I'm not an advocate of formal complaints but this one worked.

Phew !
So glad to hear better news .
So angry about his care .
Every time I've complained ( not that I do it without good reason ) things have improved .
But it shouldn't be necessary !!!!

Sounds like you've really kicked them into touch. I hope things stay positive