My Dad has parkinson's Disease and has just been diagnosed with lewy body dementia.He is 76 and has had parks for decades so is not in great shape-he can walk a little but is wobbly,he falls frequently but seems to be made of rubber as he never hurts himself,however he has fallen against Mum and hurt her.His speech is very badly affected and communication with him is hard,compounded by the LBD as he has lucid times and far less lucid times.
My Mum is 80.She has been caring for Dad at home,with two days a week respite when he goes to a day centre.However,following a fall where my mum asked a local man who had delivered something to try and help get Dad up,the man called an ambulance and although Dad was up by the time it came they took him into hospital where he is now.The hospital had various concerns,mainly to do with how unpredictable he is and how much he falls.The team there have recommended that he now go to an EMI home. His doctor talked with him and apparently Dad said he would be willing to go as he felt Mum wasn't coping.Their social care worker tried to talk to Dad but he was unresponsive,and the carers who come twice a day have expressed concerns for over a year that my Mum doesn't seem to be coping at all well. There was a meeting last week where the medical and social staff told my Mum that Dad would now have to go into a home.
I can see that she is finding it very hard looking after Dad,as now the respite days have been taken away because he falls and is therefore a danger to others.She sounded beyond desperate on the 'phone when that happened.She is worn out and not in great health herself. I see that logically him moving to a home is sensible.BUT...My Mum is hysterical,she is terribly upset.She wants him home,she doesn't want to ever be separated from him while he is alive.It was pitiful listening to her sob down the 'phone earlier (I live far from my mum).She asked Dad herself what he wanted and he said he wanted to come home. Last time I saw him he clung to me and cried and seemed very panicked,possibly because we had just had an initial meeting about how to progress with his care.I am lost about what to do.Can my Mum insist he comes home? Should we support her in that or is it madness? Until today I thought I had accepted that a home was the best solution but I feel heartbroken.My mum was saying that they had "broken her marriage" and that she has let my Dad down by not being able to bring him home.It is dreadful.All advice welcome.