Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

if you home educate - what on earth do you do all day?

62 replies

debs26 · 24/05/2005 09:16

we are trying out keeping ds1 at home in the mornings because he is having a lot of problems at school. he has now been at home for 8 days and i have run out of ideas. we have his numeracy book from school and have found some great games on the net. have also been to library and have a stack of books but we are both bored. i need to be able to look after ds3 (nearly 1) while we are doing whatever. any help?

OP posts:
Original poster
debs26 · 24/05/2005 11:19

the frustrating thing for both me and his teacher is that he is bright but often unwilling to do anything. sometimes he will get really excited about things, other times he cant be bothered to do anything excpet play with ds3s toys. i do most of the stuff people have suggested but he has a really short attention span and we are limited by time as he goes to school at lunch time. am going to be off now as he has an email to reply to before lunch. thanks for the help

OP posts:
aloha · 24/05/2005 11:24

You have had suggestions - some from people who are home educating and some who are ex-teachers. it seems very odd to me, no matter what your problems are, to ask for help and when people try to give it, to turn on them like this. It's up to you, ask for help or not, but even if you are depressed and at the end of your tether, I think to be so resentful and critical when anyone says anything isn't very nice.

Trinab75 · 24/05/2005 11:25

What about some kind of outside counting/charting activity ie-

Sitting somewhere with a view of the road and marking off different types or colours of transport which pass within a particular timescale......or maybe numbers of different dogs seen on the way to the shops etc, anything along these lines.

aloha · 24/05/2005 11:26

And how are we supposed to know what will suit your son when you don't tell us what yhe is like??? OK, so counting steps or adding up at the supermarket may be well below his capabilities (I find the latter quite a challenge myself as it happens), but I'm not psychic. I'll leave this alone now as it is pissing me off.

Aragon · 24/05/2005 11:46

Hi debs,

Has anyone mentioned "Attention Deficit Disorder" to you (with or without the hyperactivity bit)? It sounds as though your DS has some of the signs of this. I know you've seen an ed.psych - did they say anything about this? If not - it might be worth exploring a bit more.

As for what to do with him - have you tried the home education sites. I know you're not home educating as such and are hoping for re-integration but they might be able to help you with some suggestions during this difficult time.

In the meantime I'd make learning as fun as possible - even if it's stuff that's below him. - He can have fun splashing in puddles and then learn about rain (weather - Geography) in a format appropriate for him. It's hard when you've got a 1 year old as well but he might enjoy it if he's with you in a pushchair at the park. Nature rambles - again science and geography - writing it up and drawing pictures of what he's seen, sticking leaves he's collected onto a collage, talking about the different types of trees/birds etc he's seen.
Maths - even if it's easy for him - get him to help with adding up and subtracting in the supermarket - give him tins at home with home-made price-stickers on and get him adding and subtracting and dividing that way. Even if it's easy it will build his confidence and that will all help.

Hope that helps

Mandy

Notgoingtosay · 24/05/2005 11:52

Just read through this thread and am a bit disappointed in some of us.
Does anyone really need to be so spiky with a Mum who is clearly having a difficult time?
This site is supposed to be about Mums supporting one another - not getting at someone who is on the computer when shen she is only asking for a bit of support - even if it is when her son is studying. (And don't forget she gave a valid reason for not sitting over him).

aloha · 24/05/2005 11:56

Said I'd leave this alone, but frankly, I think it's a bit off to be so spiky and sarcastic when people try to give you help and advice. It goes both ways IMO.

Toothache · 24/05/2005 11:57

I'm a bit confused after reading this as to why a few of you are being so confrontational about this!?!

Aloha - What exactly is it that's pissing you off so much?

Debs - really sorry you're having a tough time with your wee one. I hope you haven't been too upset by the reactions to you here. You are clearly trying to do the best for him and OBVIOUSLY was on the PC connected to MN to get help!

Jeeeso you lot.

Toothache · 24/05/2005 11:58

Posts crossed Aloha.

aloha · 24/05/2005 12:06

For a start, this is downright sarcastic.

he is having a glasss of milk at the moment, hope no one objects that i am not stood over him telling him the best way to hold his cup

yoyo · 24/05/2005 12:07

Does he have to do anything? I know you want him to focus more but perhaps he just needs to have time away from formal work. Does he like to build things? If he could get engrossed in lego or meccano that would improve his concentration. If he is bright I don't think you should worry so much about his educational achievements.

Does he have any particular interests that you could explore? Wildlife, sport that sort of thing?

Why don't you make a plan together of the things that you would both like to do for a week or so? You could get him to colour things in on the plan or look things up on the internet.

My eldest daughter is doing WW2 at school and it has really enthused DD2 who is six. Loads of stuff for an interesting project - local museum, library, graveyards, grandparents. Perhaps he just needs to focus on one thing that really fires him up rather than trying to do bits of everything.

moondog · 24/05/2005 12:13

I agree with aloha actually.
debs did not (and still hasn't)0 made the emotional aspect of things clear. She appeared to be asking for practical ideas and that is what many people very helpfully offered.

Debs then got very defensive.
I hate all this unconditional love and crap that some MNers think we should be doling out,whatever the scenario.

Debs,obviously the whole affair is a lot more copmplex than we realised. I would suggest a visit to a clinical psychologist and/or a salt (they can help a great deal with attention problems.)
It is indeed nice to know that your little boy's school is a lot more helpful and supportive than first appeared to be the case.

Toothache · 24/05/2005 12:13

TBH Aloha.... NO WONDER!! Messages flying all over telling her to stand over him and get off the PC. I don't remember any Teachers standing over me at school. Not when you're in a class of 30.

It all sounded very OTT and harsh IMO. And as far as I can see she only reacted to the way she was being treated.

Debs are you still there.

dilligaf · 24/05/2005 12:16

Sorry couldnt answer before a friend came to see if I was OK as leaving him this morning was a bit upsetting. Debs can I suggest a book for you ? Its called Dreamers Discoverers and Dynamos by Lucy Jo Palladino, the subtitle is how to help the child who is bright bored and having problems at school. I found it really interesting and helpful. My ds is bright in some areas but not all and this may be one of the reasons he plays up at school. He says that school is boring and they cnt make up their minds what they want him to do - first they tellus to go out to play then they tell us to comein! He just doesnt get school at all.

Toothache · 24/05/2005 12:16

Are you kidding Moondog?

"And agree with you aloha. Something very unsociable about sharing the same space as someone on a computer. (Says she,typing like a dervish!"

Perhaps meant as slightly lighthearted.... but saying she's unsociable coz she's on MN asking for advice is harsh. It's not about unconditional love. A bit confused by that statement actually.

moondog · 24/05/2005 12:19

toothache,I think I made my point in the last post.Yes,I was being light hearted.
That's a no-no now is it???

Toothache · 24/05/2005 12:25

No it isn't Moondog... calm down! You're post did not come across that way.... neither did Alohas. So I think Debs remained extremely calm and cool-headed in the circumstances. She was clearly offended. And from what I have read she did seem to be getting a slating for trying to do the right thing by asking for advice.

Don't really know what the issue was with her. I was really surprised by the reaction adn it appears I'm not alone. I've just noticed WasNotGoingToSay's post. Pity you changed your name for it!!!

Toothache · 24/05/2005 12:28

Cages are clearly being rattled here. And some posts are bit of an over reaction. I'm not making the situation any better so over the experts in Home Ed.... to try to HELP Debs.

DEBS ARE YOU THERE???

moondog · 24/05/2005 12:33

I am supremely serene!
Just don't get the defensive response. Such is the disadvantage of relying on writing alone I suppose.
Where is this 'Wasnotgoingtosay' post?

Lonelymum · 24/05/2005 12:36

Toothache, she said at 11:19 that she had to go as I think her ds needed to use the computer.

Please could this not turn into a bun fight? I am still upset from the weekend if the truth be known (Lavenderr).

IMO Debs didn't explain the emotional side very well (perhaps she finds it hard) and I do think she was a bit spiky with us, but I think that only shows how upsetting this all is for her. I don't ask for unconditional love (not even from you Moondog! ) but could we all behave like grown up women please and, if this thread offends, perhaps leave it alone?

Hope I won't be jumped on for saying this, but I do find Mumsnet a bit confrontational at the moment and it is wearing my nerves down.

Lonelymum · 24/05/2005 12:37

11:52 Moondog

moondog · 24/05/2005 12:39

Thank you lm! I think you need to take it all with a pinch of salt. That Lavenderr thing is too odd for words.

Lonelymum · 24/05/2005 12:41

Yes I don't know why it gets to me so much.

moondog · 24/05/2005 12:44

lm,it's just a reflection of RL. Some loons,some doormats,some smartarses,some dullards,some diamonds and so on.
USP here is that you can of course walk away when it all gets too much.

Next time you sense that something will wind you up...switch off woman!!!

Lonelymum · 24/05/2005 12:47

But it is still going on FGS!

It's ok. I have worked out what is the matter. I grew up 20 years ago when I was probably older than many of the worst perpetrators are now.

I wonder if Mumsnet will start a geriatric section if I ask them nicely?