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Original poster

Am I flapping for no reason?

51 replies

vwvic · 16/04/2005 10:30

Yesterday, my dd1 was allowed to watch a film at school for a friday treat. Mostly I'm ok with this, apart from two things. Firstly, the film was Jurassic Park, secondly she is only 5. I'm verging on geting my knickers in a twist as I'm not sure that this was a desparetly appropriate choice given the PG rating, and that parts of it terrified me when I first saw it.

I'm not sure if I'm over-reacting, given that I have other concerns about the school that may be influencing what I think about this. DD1 doessn't seem to have been scared by it, but she did seem to be a lot more jumpy than normal. She is not the sort of child that would tell anyone other than me or dh about feeling scared/unhappy etc.

Another dimension is that I would not mind her seeing the film if she was with me or dh.I guess I just feel upset because I think ther are loads of other films that are classified U, and surely it should be the parents choice to show an older rated film to their children?

So, am I flapping for no reason?

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QueenEagle · 16/04/2005 12:28

Jurassic Park is much to scary and in some parts gory to show to 5 year olds. I would be raving if this were done at my school. Agree with others who say that surely teachers can find something better than tv or videos to do with the children as a treat. Sounds like the teachers themselves decided to have an easy afternoon.

Original poster
vwvic · 16/04/2005 14:57

Ionesmum- yep, it is the teacher who threatens small children with hell. Given that I think she has technically broken the law, I'd like to see her taking the moral highground with me again!

MaryPop- DD1 is the youngest in her year. She only just made it into the intake, so most of the kids are already 6. Even so, the point still stands.

JJash- Yep, they watch a film every week as an incentive to behave well. The school had major problems with behaviour etc a few years back, and was put into special measures. This teacher was there then and doesn't seem to be able to control the kids behaviour other than by treats or bribery.

Aaarggghh! Feeling like opting out of the whole school situation would be the easiest thing to do right now!

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ionesmum · 16/04/2005 20:35

vwvic, you may think this a rubbish suggestion, but the Telegraph have an excellent education column for readers to complain, praise or ask questions about their child's education. If I were you I'd send the column an e-mail explaining this - the editor is the respected journalist John Clare - and see what happens - from what I've read of the column he'd be horrified and the publicity might just be enough to persuade the school to get rid of the wretched woman. You can either try the Telegraph's website or I could probably find the address in today's paper.

Wallace · 16/04/2005 21:07

I let ds (5) watch Jurassic Park recently, as he is obsessed with dinosaurs.

A big mistake. He was terrified, and begged me to turn it off. He near enough wet himself with fear Dd(3) was watching it too, and loved it, and was begging me not to turn it off!

I would be livid if he had watched it at school. He also Had nightmares for days afterwards. That night was the first night in years he has come into my bed at night. He was lying awake in bed, too scared to sleep

ionesmum · 16/04/2005 22:08

Oh, Wallace, poor you and ds. Hope things are better now. Maybe you could get Walking with Dinosaurs?

The more I think about this the madder I am. vwvic, do let us know what you decide to do, won't you.

Wallace · 16/04/2005 22:18

He is a lot better now, thanks He says he never wants to watch it again, not even when he is twelve!

I would like to get walking with dinosaurs. I remember it was on TV when he was younger - is it available as a video?

whatsername · 16/04/2005 22:20

They put on a film every week??? I can remember watching a film once or twice in school at the end of terms, but other than that only schools tv.

I would be horrified, personally, not just at the choice of film (which I agree is not appropriate for a 5yr old).

ionesmum · 16/04/2005 22:38

Try the BBC Shop site or Amazon. I would think it's on video. I loved it when it was on, it was so original - pity about the sad spin-offs!

Wallace · 17/04/2005 20:55

Thanks. Will have a look

Ellbell · 18/04/2005 10:39

I'd be furious too. I was scared of Jurassic Park and no way would I let my dds watch it. Mind you, my dds seem to have inherited my wimpy disposition. Dd2 (3) won't watch Sleeping Beauty because she's scared of the 'bad pigs'(!) and I read dd1 'The Little Grey Rabbit' the other day and she had nightmares about weasels for the next two days and kept asking me to check I'd closed all the windows in case a weasel might get in! If she can be reduced to that by a weasel FGS, just imagine what a T-Rex would do to her...

I'd definitely complain, vwvic

Original poster
vwvic · 19/04/2005 14:40

Hi guys, thanks for all your input. Sorry I haven't been around for a while- I've had much hassle dealing with school and sensory impairment services etc. I talked to the teacher about the film, and she didn't think she had done anything wrong, fgs! Her actual words were I don't think you anything to worry about- X isn't the kind of kid to get upset about things like that.

That would be why she was on edge all that night then, would it? She also said that x would say something, surely, if it had been a problem? Err, when she is so scared of you she tries to hide under the table if you shout at other children?

So, it's now time for an official letter to the governors. I am very close to withdrawing her, but i feel that that would be unfair to her.

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ionesmum · 19/04/2005 19:39

Why do you feel it would be unfair, if you don't mind my asking? I'm genuinely interested as I'm not sure about our dds' future school, but have reassured myself that I can withdraw her if it doesn't work out.

WideWebWitch · 19/04/2005 19:55

Hmm, unsatisfactory response from the teacher I think. I'd go to the head in your position I think. They are supposed to ask if they want to show a PG film, it's as simple as that, surely? And it's your choice as her parent, not her choice as the teacher. Had it been a U I don't think you could have complained tbh but a PG isn't on at 5yo imo. Jurassic Park is fine for some 5yos and not others. My ds wasn't scared (can't remember when he saw it, prob about 5 though) but I know some of his friends would have been at that age and it would have been wholly inappropriate for them to be shown it. I would consider withdrawing her if there's a viable alternative. It doesn't sound as if this is the only thing about the school that worries you.

allatsea · 19/04/2005 20:33

i think that it is technically an offence to show any video (there's that warning at the beginning of all films saying that it is not to be shown in public places such as schools), although that I know that films are used for very good reasons in lots of different schools. I would be very upset that a PG film had been shown to either of my children. I have greater confidence in the British Board of Film Classification to be able to determine the appropriateness of films than someone who seems to be out of touch with the needs and views of young children

Original poster
vwvic · 20/04/2005 14:33

Ionesmum- I don't mind you asking at all. Despite all the issues we and DD1 has with school, she does still actually like going there. I feel that in some way, to withdraw her would in some way be like punishing her, IYSWIM. Like it's not her fault that her teacher is not really doing a very good job, and the school chooses to back her up rather than us. I should probably say that our experience of different teachers has been quite ok- we just seem to have been landed with a "bad" one. Sorry, I'm not sure I'm making much sense.

The only other altenatives are the other school we are in catchment for, or home ed. I think the words over my dead body apply to the other school. Last term the fire brigade was called there twice, and a TA was threatened with a knife by an 8 year old. I know from the mum & tots group I help to run that it also has a ingrained bullying culture.

Home ed is something I have thought about many times, but I'm not sure I could do it without going absolutely insane. I'm also not sure it would be fair to my other dd who is 3 as well- would hate to see her not getting the attention I feel she needs.

Sorry for the long rant.

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fee77 · 20/04/2005 15:12

I can't believe this - as a teacher i am in shock! How on earth can they justify showing a video - that is not a reward for good behaviour, that is a cop out on the teachers part. In some of the schools i taught in if the children had been good all week that had an hour of "golden time" when they could choose from certain acivities. But to spend the whole afternoon watching tv is ridiculous. You might as well pick your dd up at lunch time and take her shopping for the afternoon for all the education she is getting. Plus, how on earth do they find the time - the curriculum is so jam packed now.
I would complain, to every one who would listen - governors, local press, other parents. Teachers like this give us all a bad name.

fee77 · 20/04/2005 15:12

P.s. what area are you in? If iam any where near i am moving to a different catchment area!

ionesmum · 20/04/2005 20:53

vwvic, how awful for you! Yes, I do see your pint about the fact your dd likes school. And as for the other one, let's face it, it should be closed down, but not before Tony Blair is asked if he fancies sending Leo there. I've thought of home-ed too but my dh isn't keen. I hate what our education system has become and don't think children should even start school until they are six anyway.

ionesmum · 20/04/2005 20:54

Btw I don't blame teachers at all, what can they do but try to meet the 'targets' set by the government?

ionesmum · 20/04/2005 20:55

I mean I don't blame teachers for what our education system has become. Of course I blame teachers if they are individually rubbish and/or bonkers, as this one appears to be.

Lara2 · 20/04/2005 22:36

At the end of the day PG stands for Parental Guidance - is this woman their parent? No - case closed. She has no excuses, either educational or moral. She should have got permission, shown something suitable, or actually set up some fun activities as a treat for being good. But that would have meant interacting and working I guess?

hercules · 20/04/2005 22:48

Blimey, JP to a five year old!
I would complain.

that said, teachers are actually locus parentis (spelling) but with that comes acting as a parent which is more reason not to show it to a 5 year old.

tortoiseshell · 20/04/2005 22:52

I would complain - my nearly 4 year old is traumatised by Big Cook Little Cook and has to hide behind the sofa when they start cooking (in case Small gets covered in food), so I really can't imagine he will be ready for JP in just over a year - he does have nightmares and night terrors about things he's seen, so I would be really concerned about him watching something that could feed his imagination in such a scary way! When he had terrors about wolves, we couldn't leave the house for nearly 2 days because he had hysterics every time the door was opened.

Philly · 21/04/2005 09:06

My ds (oldest in year) was shown Beauty and the Beast at school in reception and still now aged 11 sonmetimes says he has a nightmare about it!Admittedly now his nightmare is about the memory of being frightened by it not the actual thing but it shows how these things stay with you.He is big for his age and outwardly confident so didn't say he was scared at school at the time,just waited forthe middle of the night for that!
I don't think that they should be shown any non curricula TV at all at school, I wasn't, if it was wet we read or played board games.
Incidently last ternm they watched a video in science about people being de hydrated in the desert ,we are still having nightmares about that one !

Original poster
vwvic · 21/04/2005 14:21

We live in Huddersfield. Lots and lots of very good schools in the town, but unfortunately extremely tight catchment areas. All the "good" schools are located in high price areas, and are totally out of our budget. By this I mean £100-120 grand for a one bedroomed back to back, when the normal price would be artound £70-80.

Anyone got any good ideas how I can campaign the school to reduce or even (dare I say) cut out tv/film watching in class?

Parents evening next Wednesday- watch this space!

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