Help me be constructive and diplomatic tomorrow with Head Teacher when I just feel critical and despairing...

[bloss]

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We've 'used' 2 state primarys and one independent so far, and I have to say that your worries sound exactly like our experience of both state schools (one was ofsted 'excellent' current one is ofsted 'outstanding - both have people fighting to get in).
I spend time daydreaming of winning the lottery or at least having enough job security that I could move them back to the independent school.
Ds is happier because after half a term we managed to persuade his teacher to move him to the top set of the mixed year for maths (he was bored stiff doing things that he had done a year before), we also have private piano lessons (at home) for him..and luckily he is a bookworm so we are indulging in as many museum trips, libray books etc as we can. As my mum said when we took them out of the last school (dh was made redundant and I am threatened with redundancy later this year)..the money we were paying in school fees will go a long way in buying tutoring/extra activities (Have you thought of drama classes for confidence building?)
That said, our weekends are one long trek around various children's activities.
I hope you get somewhere with your talk with the Head, but it does sound par for the course in my experience.

How did it go Bloss?

Realise this is a bit late as you've already been in but just wanted to address a couple of the points.

Our primary school has notoriously bad communications but perhaps you could suggest to Head Teacher etc (or via PTA or equivalent) that the school sets up/maintains a website with news/events posted on it (our very non IT school does this and it is maintained weekly by a team of pupils). Also it might be worth suggesting that they set up an email system for notifications of nits etc. It's time consuming to set up (parent volunteers needed to imput email addresses but then very quick to use and saves the planet when relaying a quick message to parents.

Would also echo Millarkie's post about building confidence through out of school activities - drama etc. I appreciate it's difficult to organise when you work long hours but there might be another parent with similar concerns who could share the ferrying about element?

Get on the governing body perhaps with other parents; there are usually LEA and other places. Then turf the head out if it is as bad as you say.

I have to say I think that moving from an independant to a state in the middle of a concil estate is going to be VERY different. I think you need to spend a day helping out and just watch. Some of the issues you raise can only be from what your children have told you, which I am sure is all true but there may be more to it. I'm sorry but I have to be honest, I teach so this is hand on heart, your comparing two VERY VERY VERY different lifestyles.

Its not right any child has to have this standard of education but state schools in harder areas and not easy places to work or learn in.

I expect you have a poor leader, lots of SEN children with far less support than they should, no funding for staff training, the list goes on.

independent council sorry feeding and typing one handed!

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I think you knew that the change of schools would be particularly harsh perhaps did't you?
FWIW I just about walked out of the NSW school in tears on the first day and had to force myself to send the kids there. There were things I found highly unsatfactory and certainly wouldn't have let them stay there had we permanently emigrated.
What you as a family have done is massive; somethings will be better than NSW, some will be worse and others will just be different. As others have said and you have acknowledged, comparing any private with public school is going to prove disadvantageous to the public school.
I think the dialogue with the school sounds positive and a good springboard for the next few weeks.
Our kids found school life really difficult in lots of ways in NSW.. but things did improve and what is really really evident is that they grew as people hugely. It built their resilience, their confidence, their determinination and their sense of self hugely. The academic side of things was a complete waste of their time BUT that hasn't mattered at all. Both have come back and are thriving and in particular ds is transformed.
So, hang on in there, make sure that you do the things at the weekend that make this whole experience worthwhile and perhaps try and play the Pollyanna glad game a little and see if there are more positives than you could first see. If not then move to plan B, but maybe it's worth trying!
Thinking of you x

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How we have tackled this is by giving dd extra work and stretching her slightly. We have also got her into a range of after school activities (dancing/football/self-defence/scouts) so that she has more opportunities for social development and for playing with other children who aren't in the boisterous playground. This has really helped her develop good relationships with other children too. Yes, school is a large part of her day but the extra activities counteract the very slight boredom she has.

Her school is ok but we are continuing to send her there because of continuity even though we have moved further away (thought the continuity was more important).

I also think your dialogue with the school was positive

Good luck

I keep coming back to this thread and mulling it over, and I'm just not sure what to say. There are a few individual points that I could comment on, but it is such a generally negative and depressing situation I'm not sure I can contribute much.

We are fortunate that we have good state schools locally. If someone moved there from indie it would still be a shock at first - the class sizes etc. But your situation just seems so problematic.

I hope you find a good way forward.

I think as well bloss, that it's easy to lose perspective when you are somewhere slightly unfamiliar as you are.
Very rough playground. Dd often coming home having been hit, punched, deliberately poked in eye with stick etc.

A few extra thoughts..Nits are far more prevalent here than NSW. I would just make checking part of your routine and not worry about the school telling you. It's more to do with the age of the kids. As they get older checks become less necessary. Buy a large bottle of Derbac M!

Music provision- get dh onto the LA and find out what can be accessed through the peripatetic support service. It may be that you can, as I do, rent an instrument for £7 a term and get a good quality lesson for £5.

If you haven't already, talk to the class teacher's calmly about how you can work in partnership with them to challenge the kids more.. maybe they have wanted to let them settle in socially? Explain what they have been used to and what problems you are experiencing.

Good luck

oops- pasted a line of yours nto mine by acident. This is what it should have said.

I think as well bloss, that it's sometimes easy to lose perspective when you are somewhere slightly unfamiliar as you are.

A few extra thoughts..Nits are far more prevalent here than NSW. I would just make checking part of your routine and not worry about the school telling you. It's more to do with the age of the kids. As they get older checks become less necessary. Buy a large bottle of Derbac M!

Music provision- get dh onto the LA and find out what can be accessed through the peripatetic support service. It may be that you can, as I do, rent an instrument for £7 a term and get a good quality lesson for £5.

If you haven't already, talk to the class teacher's calmly about how you can work in partnership with them to challenge the kids more.. maybe they have wanted to let them settle in socially? Explain what they have been used to and what problems you are experiencing.

Good luck

Just came back to this because I was wondering how you'd got on. The stuff about the playground and the disorganisation are bad, and do suggest that this school is functioning overall well below the level of a good stage primary to me. But I suspect that you and your kids could live with that if the classroom was better. So it seems to me that the low expectations are the key problem here.

E.g. to come back to the 'fantasy animal habitat' task, it does still seem to me that that COULD be really rich and stretching. And it certainly COULD involve research, gathering material etc - for instance, it could involve researching the habitats of real animals and looking at how they affect the animals' existence/how animals have evolved to deal with them; investigating fantasy animals in art, literature, and myth; imagining what predators your animal might have to cope with and how they could fend them off... etc etc. Easily enough to stimulate and challenge a yr 4 child. But I guess the problem is that you and your ds knew that the school would be happy with a bit of playdough and glitter, so you didn't bother with all that, yes? Which would be a completely understandable response.

It does sound good that you've opened up a dialogue, and I hope that that leads to things improving for your dc. But honestly, I would go and look at the other local state schools. They really do differ hugely in character, IME. There are 4 state primaries within easy daily travelling distance for us. They are all well thought-of, and all quite different from each other in ethos and approach. You really need to see for yourself what things are like, OFSTED reports are really not worth much. Esp if - as seems to be the case - you have strong views about the particular kind of education you want for your children.

Hope you can change things for the better, one way or another.

I think there are a few solutions to this.

The state primary simply won't have the same facilities for music and after school clubs as funding is limited. So for that aspect you need to research outside of the school for clubs/music lessons that will interest the children.

If they want stretching academically and you don't feel that the school can offer that then you could look at private tutoring to provide extra curricular work.

The behaviour of others is out of your control, all you can do there is work with the school to keep a dialogue open and try to work out some good strategies.

The only other alternative if the other schools in your area are not much better is to home educate, perhaps supplemented with private tutoring if you wish.
There are plenty of he groups around so the children would still be able to socialise.