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Original poster

Co-Ed or single sex school?

28 replies

toobusytothink · 13/11/2008 15:08

Just wondering whst people think are the advantages/disadvantages of both. I am split on this. I went to a single sex day school till 11 and then co-ed boarding after that and loved it.

Also at what age do people think this decision is best made?

Co-ed boarding as a girl was tough in some respects as I was not overly attractive and sometimes this got me down, but then again I was massively into my sport so it didn't bother me to much. Also, I got on much better with boys than girls so think all girls would have been too bitchy for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
toobusytothink · 13/11/2008 15:08

too much (oops)

OP posts:
ilovetochat · 13/11/2008 15:11

went to girls senior school and i probably concentrated more in class and would have been less likely to answer questions if boys were there but on the negative side it made me shy round boys and as a teenager i didn't really know any boys and didn't know how to be friends with boys which can cause problems

tonton · 13/11/2008 15:13

I had assumed that we would send dd1 ro a co-ed secondary. But now I've started looking the ones i really like are single sex. She is shy and I think it could suit her.

i hadn't realised there were so many single sex state shcools.

I think if she does go girls only for secondary then I would try and send her co-ed for 6th form so she definitely gets some daily exposure (so to speak ) to boys!

I went to single sex boarding shcool and was barely able to talk to a boy until I was about 25!!

Original poster
toobusytothink · 13/11/2008 15:25

just thinking we have a dd and ds so would be much easier if they both went to same school, but only if that's right for both children.

Why do people choose single sex?

OP posts:
pagwatch · 13/11/2008 15:32

my eldest DS1 is in single sex as is DD. DS1 asked specificly to go to a single sex school at 11. He had been to a single sex pre-prep and then a mixed junior which he loathed.

ramonaquimby · 13/11/2008 16:03

I don't think I'll send my children to a single sex school - I mean, the world isn't set up that way, I just don't have the right feeling about it.

ilovetochat · 14/11/2008 13:37

toobusy - one of the main reasons i think is girls and boys distract each other and girls argue over boys etc so it eliminates all the rivalry, jealousy and lets you concentrate on school, which in my case worked. but i agree with ramona in that the world isn't like that, work isn't like it, uni isn't and you live in a false environment, there are swings and roundabouts and i don't know what i will do for my dd yet (she is only 16 months so no rush)

pagwatch · 14/11/2008 13:53

But the assumption you are making is that a single sex school means no contact with the opposite sex - which is nonsense.

My DS1 is 15 now and has a huge raft of female friends and a girlfriend. They have many shared lessons ( local boys school and girls school do mixed lessons inthings like drama) and meet up outside school with no difficulty at all.

My son likes going to school to study and train and relax without the scrutiny, judgement and nonsense that went on when he was at mixed school.

Cosette · 14/11/2008 14:52

DDs were in (state) co-ed until the end of primary, and are now at girls senior school. Our reasons were that girls tend to act differently around boys, as they are concerned about what the boys think of them. They can be less likely to speak up in class, and to let boys take over in lessons that are traditionally male (science, maths). Having a single sex school environment removes that distraction and helps them focus on their education. My DDs have friends outside school, who do go co-ed, and do get exposure to boys that way.

I went to a co-ed school (state) and was really really distracted by boys.

Not sure yet what I think about single sex education for boys, DS will go state infant initially which will be co-ed, and we'll see after that.

MollieO · 14/11/2008 22:34

I chose single sex for my ds (in Reception) because I liked it more than the co-ed. Did have a few concerns about all boys but he loves it even though his best friend at nursery was a girl. The difference at this age is boys won't sit still and girls will (mostly). The style of teaching takes account of this. I also think boys are generally slower developers at a younger age than girls so he doesn't have to compete with loads of girls putting their hands up and answering all the questions!

findtheriver · 15/11/2008 10:18

Co-ed all the way for me. Real life isn't single sex is it! I think it's good for children to feel comfortable with learning alongside both genders.

squeakypop · 15/11/2008 14:08

I teach in a girls' only school and it feels really normal. I love it.

I have taught in a grammar school where they had separate boys/girls lessons in Science (and a few other subjects).

Research says that girls do better in girls' schools and boys do better in mixed schools.

SpeccieSeccie · 15/11/2008 14:19

I suppose it depends on the schools you've got available to you. If you've got the best single sex school in the country at the bottom of your street then obviously that's going to be worth a look.

However, I was the first year of girls in a previously all-boys school and it really convinced me that co-ed is so much better. The years that were still just boys had much more severe bullying than those with girls in them. And the girls that used to arrive in sixth form from all-girls schools were considerably more neurotic than those who'd been in co-ed the whole way. They all seemed to have eating disorders! Maybe they weren't like that but that's how I remember it.

findtheriver · 15/11/2008 14:20

Well adjusted children who aren't going to be totally freaked out by the presence of the opposite gender in the same school are likely to do just fine.

bloss · 15/11/2008 14:22

Message withdrawn

bloss · 15/11/2008 14:24

Message withdrawn

squeakypop · 15/11/2008 15:44

Anecdotal, but I went to a single sex school and then onto male-dominated engineering at university. I got married at 21 and am still married 22 years later. I don't think my relationships suffered because I was in a single sex school, and I was able to thrive in a male dominated profession.

snorkle · 15/11/2008 19:09

dh & I went to single sex schools which were OK but we'd both have preferred co-ed. All girls schools can be rather bitchy imo. My childrens co-ed school offers much wider range of curricular & extra curricular stuff than we had, and the children don't seem to be polarised in what they do according to sex either (lots of boys sing for example), but I guess this may depend more on the schools ethos rather than it's co-ed/single sex admissions policy.

The only friend I have who went from a single sex to co-ed school for sixth form says she was so distracted by the boys she failed all her A levels.

Hulababy · 15/11/2008 19:32

DD (6y) goes to a single sex school and it is great. She will most likely go to single sex secondary also, whih we are more than happy with. The coed equivalent of DD's school is not as good, simple as that.

Have known a fair few people who have gone to single sex schools. The majority are very normal happy individuals. Unlike some of the people we know who went to coed schools too!

DD mixes with children outside of school - family friends, at clubs, etc. Some of these are boys. She is perfectly capable of playing with biys, just as she does girls. It really is not a problem.

BodenGroupie · 15/11/2008 23:19

I went to all girls and it was the unhappiest time of my life but I have to admit I got a good education - not sure that it was worth it, though and would be devastated if my girls were ever as miserable as I was. DD1 is at an all girls grammar and doing very well but finding it bitchy. We've deliberately encouraged out of school activities where she meets boys so she doesn't regard them as alien beings. DD2 is at mixed comp and loves it. Sadly, not doing as well academically, but don't think that's down to the presence of boys!

ketal · 16/11/2008 10:16

I've taught at mixed and single sex state comprehensive schools. The advantages I can see to girls' single sex schools is that girls often do have very different learning styles, so you are able to do lots more research type lessons, where the students can be given a project that they are able to fly with - and boy can they really fly with this type of project!

I also found that the take up of traditional 'boys' subjects was a lot higher in the girls school - for example, when drumming was provided at lessons, there was no conception that it was really being provided for the boys, because there were no boys - so the girls really grasped those opportunities. As a result, it had a great Science dept, entered lots of competitions etc..., had a strong football team, Good facilities on woodwork and the like - because these were provided for the girls, the girls took them up!

I also found that the girls were a lot more proactive in lessons - they spoke up more, participated more freely and so on... They were also far less tolerant of students messing about in class!

The downsides of girls schools were that they could be quite bitchy, particularly where boys and boyfriends came up! Also, I thought some girls would take on the role of the class clown, fill the roles in the classroom that I had previously found that boys used to take on! So I don't think single sex would suit everyone!

These are just my reflections though. HTH

MollieO · 16/11/2008 11:31

I went to co-ed all the way through and did have a laugh when the girls from the local high school (girls only) joined us in the 6th form. They all dressed up and wore make up. We couldn't understand why so they explained - 'There are boys here!'. Took them about a term to calm down and get used to boys in their classes. For our O levels (showing my age!) we had single sex science classes as the boys dominated all the experiments.

I think this is a bit like the state v private debate. You choose on what is available locally and what suits your ds best.

Takver · 16/11/2008 14:04

Like people say, it depends on the school/s concerned. I went to single sex state school and would definitely second ketal's point about it being easier to take 'boys' subjects in a girls school. I had a close friend in a mixed school and she certainly found it harder to be keen on physics et al.
We went mixed in the 6th form also (shared lessons with the boys school next door), and I don't recognise MollieO's picture at all - we knew all the boys perfectly well, had been hanging out with them at breaks/lunchtimes for years, and had no need to dress up for them. But then it definitely wasn't the 'posh' school in the town (prize taken by the local Church school) which may have made a difference?
I only went to a girl's school pretty much by accident (local mixed comp was full & our village pushed out of catchment, parents wouldn't lie to get into church school, girl's school left as only option on bus route) but I'm glad I did and think I had a lot more opportunities in life as a result.

cory · 16/11/2008 15:17

Have never noticed dd getting distracted or intimidated by the boys in her class. She views them as entertaining, slightly younger friends- well, most 12yo girls are rather more developed than most 12yo boys.

Takver · 16/11/2008 16:03

Things have probably changed a fair bit since I was at school - certainly they have in the wider world. Back in the day I guess the boy/girl effect tended to kick in around 14 or so. Hopefully it is no longer an issue and girls wanting to take double maths, physics and design technology are welcomed with open arms