Help! Teacher and mum needs help regarding repeating year 6

[asdmumandteacher]

Hi all! Am new here - I am a mum to 2 boys - the youngest has severe autism and the eldest is just 9 (August born). The eldest is in year 5 in primary state school. My hubby and I are secondary grammar teachers.We both feel that only a miracle would get our boy thru the 11 plus so for the last two years i have been saving to send him private..however now i am worrying that he won't pass the entrance tests (academically he is in lower half of his year group but he is a very mature and sensible boy -due largely to living with a severely disabled brother) and thinking about asking the schools upon year 7 entrance whether he could retake year 6 within their school (I think private schools are more accomodating of repeating years....am not sure)Does anyone know if the private schools would be agreeable to this if he 'fails' their entrance tests...many many thanks for all help - am losing sleep over this one!

In that case I think I'd try and make an appointment to look around a few months before the usual visits for Y7 and sound them out then. If they knew that they had spaces in Y6 for the following year they might be happy for you to put his name down as a fall back option. Good luck with it whatever you decide

I think your son would get a much more positive message if you allowed him to be in the lower half of his year group & continue with his current year.

I can only see a message that his current attainment is not good enough, especially as he will know that you teach at schools with bright children. Let him know that you are proud of him regardless of what he scores, and that there is more to life than being top of the class.

He can catch up in his own time, then. What if he repeats the year, and still won't meet the 11+ criteria, or is still in the lower half of his year? What then?

In my mind, you can't give him the message that lower half of the year is unacceptable one year, and hold him back, then say it is acceptable the next year.

I personally think this could damage him far more than coming out in the lower half of a year group and not getting into grammar school.

It sounds as if your current target senior school has a prep attached (or does it just have a Year 6 intake as well as year 7). Could you afford to send him earlier? So that rather than repeating Year 6 he actually starts with repeating Year 5? This will give him more time to catch up ready for year 7,and to have the benefit of smaller class sizes. Also as year 6 is entrance exam year it is an odd year to repeat.

FWIW the dcs school have a number of children with August/September birthdays who are in the wrong year. Whilst many of the August borns aren't automatically in the top quartile of the class they have moved down to, they do seem to be happier in their school experience despite an initial period of adjustment.

hi! I def couldn't afford for him to do year 5 and then 6 in an independent school - we are only teachers on regular teacher salary...but maybe could save enough for a year 6 and then year 7...many of the indie schools that i know of will allow thier pupils to walk into year 7 if they have been in the junior school so this is my hope.

I want him to have another year so he has time to really understand things well - primary ed has seemed like such a rush of things he has not grasped properly at mo. The impact of having a disabled sibling has been huge on his concentration levels (worrying about whether his brother will die etc..-due to brothers epilepsy, scans etc etc and why his brothers brain is wired up wrongly, why he doesn't understand like normal brothers and sisters) He has had a lot to deal with and has seen his parents go through a very tough time with diagnosis, hospitals and trying to access education and support for his brother... I don't want him to be top of the class - i don't think its in his nature- i want him to be happy and confident and at the moment he certainly isn't cos he knows that he is the one getting all the help and support outside class etc...he struggles - i want him to have confidence

Are you looking to continue privately after Year 7? My understanding is that even if children are taught out of year elsewhere when they return to state they have to be in their assigned Year Group.

I agree that most ind schools would usually expect their year 6 pupils to pass pretty autotmatically into Year 7, but here you would be asking then to take a Year 7 entrant into Year 6, with the implication that he wouldn't be yet ready for Year 7 but that the school will get him there in a term (as entrance exams are usually either side of Christmas). I think that it is a pretty big ask tbh, but it depends on spaces etc. No harm in asking but I think that you would be more successful asking for a Year 5 repeat (school has 2 years to work with him, it is easier on transition as a lot of summer term on Year 6 is preparing to deal with Year 7, avoids 2 Year 6 years being spent on exam prep/SATs/prep for Year 7).

I appreciate the cash issue - how about looking instead for some one to one coaching to support him?

thanks ladymuck - he is already having one to one coaching. I have phoned the school today and they said it should be fine and they do have spaces in year 6 so hopefully it may be year 6 or 7. We would keep him in independent system till A levels (thats the plan) and then perhaps grammar 6th form...maybe mine will have boys by then...it seems to be the trend at mo

Have a chat to the school (preferably without him) they may be able to reassure you.

I have a severely autistic son as well (9, non verbal) but he's my eldest (2 younger NT sons).