Piano Lesson torture!

[groovyolmutha]

We are "making" our 8 year old have piano lessons. She does no other activities outside school. We have always said we would endeavour to organise anything she was interested in instead, e.g. any sport,any dancing, any instrument, any other hobby. She has flirted with a couple of after school clubs (running, french, dance)over the last 3 years but they have all become "boring" and she has stopped them. Piano lessons started in Sept 07 and now entering 2nd year. She never practices (I try hard to make it interesting and not to get cross, making opportunities but placing the responsibility on her, have tried star charts but they became a battle ground). My attitude with her about it is that they are just something you do, no big deal; no pressure to do grades; a part of education. She hates piano lessons and is starting to get into a "state" about them. Her teacher is lovely and very good and my d actually seems to have a natural aptitude for piano! I don't want to stop the lessons as it sends out such a poor message about it being OK to quit when you don't feel like doing something! Help!

I think you just have to be consistent, don't you beety, so they know that actually the practice does need to be done. Whatever the reason for not doing it may be! Ds1 is pretty good now - we don't get too many arguments. Dd is starting cello next week, so it will be interesting to see what she is like as regards practice...she is just 5 (in August) so very little, but I hope she should pick it up quickly!

consistent is a great word TS. Mine do theirs at school now but they used to do it in the morning before school.

THAT is just what they did.
No arguments

ds moans and complains about piano practice. He whines even more about doing music theory.

But- EVERY SINGLE PERSON I know who quit (including me) regrets it.

Ds was really browned off with me droning on about how I wish Grandma had supported me as I do him, yawn, yawn, but then an old friend visited. She sat down at the piano, played a bit, then said how stupid she had been to give up when she was on Grade 7, and how she had done it just to spite her musician mother. It made ds think a bit and he now realises there's no gain without considerable pain.

Oh, and the hamster for doing his last exam didn't harm things either!

When I was at university fircone, a number of us (about a dozen) were talking about learning instruments, who had done what and so on, and in the room everyone had learned at least one instrument at some time and had given up after achieving anything from nothing (me) to grade 7. Nobody regretted giving up (I was the only one that did slightly) - nearly everyone cited the reason being that they didn't want to do the practice. Most of us would like to be able to play, but not at the cost of the effort involved. No one seemed to have any regrets, even the grade 7 person, who was quizzed particularly on whether they should have stuck it out for one more grade.

It stuck in my mind as I had always slightly regretted not playing - I stopped very early on due to hatred of the teacher but didn't practise much either. The conversation made me realise, that, even if I had got on with the teacher, with my personality I would have been extremely unlikely to continue very much further.

So, I'm very surprised that every single person you know regrets giving up - are you sure they don't regret that they can't do the impossible: ie: play an instrument with little or no effort.

Why does she have to have an outside school activity? She is only 8. When something comes up which grabs her, she will join in. I did no after-school activities but found my own interests and hobbies as I grew older.

Would she play another instrument? Sometimes an instrument will just 'suit' a child. Or not. Do any of her friends play a particular instrument, or is there a school or other group she could join if she played an orchestral instrument?

My own children have to practise their instruments, that is part of the 'deal'. But the wanting to play an instrument came from them, not me. My response was yes, we'll pay for lessons but in return you do a minimum amount of practice per day. Any more is up to you. Now it is just part of family life.

But the difference is, they haven't been forced to take up the instrument in the first place. Once they started, we insisted on them learning for a year to get a good feel for it and to show a certain level of commitment, but any time after that they can give it up.

Goodness you should stop. What a waste of money to spend on something she doesn't enjoy. I did hours and hours of music lessons as a kid and now I don't play anything. I think the money could have been better spent. Especially when I didn't enjoy it and I didn't show a natural aptitude for the instruments.

Groovy, I feel for you (& feel same as you), I had similar situation with ds (we did stop lessons).