Grr. Why are all "bored" DSs allegedly unrecognised G&T? Teachers must tear their hair out!

[teslagirl]

Why is it that seemingly every 8 and 9 y.o. DS who announces he's "bored at school" is automatically regarded by his mother as being "very intelligent but under stimulated" by the school? Sometimes I feel I'm surrounded by it! I had 2 parents helping at the school disco who said this, separately. The DSs are both Y3- and as luck would have it, both in my DS1s class (he's Y4 in a Y3/4 combo) and HE said, when obliquely questioned that both DSs are in Maths 4 and Literacy 4- out of 5. As "very intelligent" Y3s they should surely be in 3 or EVEN 2 if they're REALLY G&T (bearing in mind group 1 is full of the brightest Y4s)!

I heard this also in the wash-up after Y4 parents evening- a few mums who told the teacher DS needed more work as he'd said he was "Bored", proof indeed that the school was evidently failing them... Surely it's cool for junior school boys to claim EVERYTHING is 'Boring'?- it's in the nature of being 8-11 esp whilst emulating the studied ennui of the older boys! It doesn't necessarily mean they ARE bored OR, if they genuinely are, let's not go assuming it's because our DS is an unrecognised G&T thus are under stimulated/failed by the school, but maybe entertain the possibility that DS can't be bothered/hasn't got the maturity to understand the value of engaging with his education! I know the DSs concerned and I don't see any glimmer of genius lurking within!

One further point- and I know this is thin ice: It also strikes me how many of the mothers concerned haven't got an O level to rub together. Perfectly nice people, all, but women who will admit they spent secondary snogging behind the bike shed but suddenly spout authoritatively on the nature of Education Theory and The Undiagnosed Genius.

Well, I teach secondary, and a clever underachieving boys are so widespread it could almost be considered normal

I think it quite common, and isn't always anything to do with the teacher. I think it is more noticable amongst boys as they are more physical, energetic and restless on the whole than girls.

Brave comments, teslagirl, but I agree.

The number of mums on here who say "Ds/dd is grammer (sic) material." They may argue that they didn't have a great education, but surely someone with even a quarter of a brain cell might absorb the correct spelling of an institution they feel is so appropriate for their offspring?

I think a lot of parents are living through their DCs and want them to achieve the things that they didn't achieve. They don't want to have an average (or even below average)DC so it is quite handy to say that they are very bright but being failed by the school! There has to be an average-if all DCs were G&T then that would be the new average!

lol at this thread. KM, as soon as I read this thread, I knew you would pop up (meant very nicely!).

teslagirl - I would say more than 50% of the parents of kids I teach piano to believe their children to be very gifted. And most of them aren't!

Being bored at school doesn't necessarily mean you are G&T, it might just mean they're bored.

KM - your ds1 has obvious gifts. But most children don't, and they still get bored at school. Now perhaps the teacher is failing the kids by not engaging them, but not necessarily because they are G&T!

It is good to be bored sometimes! A lot of school work is boring to DCs who are used to constant stimulation and have a 2 min attention span. There are many more DCs whose parents think are G&T than are actually G&T!

I totally agree AbbeyA. IME, the parents with the attitude tesla describes, tend to be the ones who havent achieved greatly themselves, and then end up living through their children. Parents who have fulfilling and successful lives tend to be less hung up - they have more confidence that their children will achieve their true potential.

A lot of them are just naughty. My ex husband who is a teacher (in the private sector) had lots of stories of parents who just couldn't see their child was badly behaved and certainly not clever. More parents alive to the defects in their children's personalities would be a good thing.

If the chidlren are that clever sit them for private school entrance exams in really hard schools at 7+ or 11+ even if you can't afford it and then see if they pass and are brilliant. Nothing like market forces to test them.

I know this may be just a venting thread, but I am going to do some serious (boring ) posting:

• those parents may be seeing a huge difference between how those boys are at home & how they are at school, so what groups they're in at school may be a red herring

• picking "boredom" as the culprit is a very common first step for people who're just starting to realise something is up achievement-wise with their children, so you may have been talking to mothers who are only just starting out on that path of worry (and perhaps may need a bit of support as they go down it)

• pet theory of mine: "boredom" is a much more complicated state of mind than is usually assumed - certainly when my son (9) claims he's "bored" I know what he means is "got in a muddle, lost the thread, can't see how to get to the end of the task from where I am now". Which hasn't anything to do with brightness or not - it has to do with not being able to sequence things, which does seem to be a common boy-trait; or not recognising, somewhere early on in the task, that there was a specific something he hadn't understood* - and so couldn't follow on.

Which means that I'm on the exact other side of the fence from those mothers who spoke to you - I've spent years now persuading other people that ds isn't just "bored" - what looks like, & gets called, boredom is an indication of a whole lot of underlying stuff that does need looking into. But on the other hand - like them - I think it matters.

*This, unexpectedly, is actually a Scientologist educational principle: if you don't understand something, go back to the beginning and find the very point where you stopped following - as there will be one.

I agree Bink that there will be underlying causes.The most probable reason is that they don't understand, having missed out earlier on. It is much easier for a DC who can't read at the correct level to say the whole thing is rubbish and mess around, than it is to admit there is a problem.
I also agree with Xenia that some are just naughty.
Some will be G&T, but not as many as claimed by parents.

I have had some G and T boys who were very naughty in a special G and T lesson, which was all fun stuff in science, water rockets, mad machines and not a work sheet in sight.

they were so naughty that they don't come any more. If they were misbehaving because they were bored, christ alone knows what they needed to stimulate them, school in Alton Towers prehaps?

They were misbeavhing because they enjoyed being naughty, not because they were G and T

well ds2 says he's bored in numeracy cos the work isn't hard enough and yes, he's in the top set and does extension work - is he allowed to be bored and G/T ?

Children can be bored because the work is too hard as well as too easy. And how children handle boredom is strongly related to how they're brought up.
When I was bored in class, I sneakily and quietly read a book under the desk.

My son often tells me he's bored at school, fair enough, school can be boring I used to have an interesting job, with lots of scope to create my own tasks. Still, it was frequently boring, especially at 4pm on a Friday afternoon. I should've spoken to my manager, he could've given me some extention reports to write

More seriously I agree plenty with Bink

Perhaps "bored" is not the right word, but I think there are definatly very clever and bright children who do not come across like that in class, not achieve their potential and the teachers not recognising their brightness. I think some children have a more "quirky" minds than others (if that is the right word). They can be very interested and absorbed by ideas and thoughts, but not fit into the format of formal lessons. I am not talking about my own children here btw, if that makes a difference to the interpretation of my post.

A huge amount of face saving (particularly in the secondary school years) takes the form of 'This is crap and boring that is why I haven't done it' rather than 'THis is actually quite hard, and I'm finding it hard work and would rather not admit to it/put the effort in'

Children can describe work or lessons as boring for all sorts of reasons. Bink has put it perfectly IME - hearing this from your child is often the start of a journey which ideally, you as a parent embark on with an open mind and objectively.
To be quite frank a lot of children are probably bored of bloody SATS. I expect the teachers are too. I think this is an innately boring time of the school year.

and some things are just dull, but you need to learn about them to understand the more interesting stuff later on.

Not every lesson can be a three ring circus. Or should it be. Kids need to learn other things in school like taking turns, sharing, lsitening to other people's views and being patient.

I think it is more convenient for some parents to pretend their son is bored rather than badly behaved and willfully disrupting the learning of others.

There are some children who are genuinely not stretched in school and they are being failed but most of the bored naught underacheievers i meet are just naughty.

I teach some of these clever mored children and their bored antics include threatening teachers, swearing at staff, belittling other children and doing absolute bugger all. If one more mother winges at me but he is so unstimulated I will explode!

Sometimes a lesson may not be the most exciting period of your life, deal with it, such is life.

Well said twinset. What on earth will these bored g&t children do when they enter the world of work and are asked to do something as unstimulating as paperwork or filing reports.

I have a very clever daughter who sometimes comes home saying she is bored in lessons my response is not to blame the teacher, although I will politely ask for more challenging work but to see what i can do as her mother - the primary care giver so the buck stops with me - to stimulate her. If I ever found out she was playing up at school out of boredom there would be hell to pay.

I suspect some of them will not enter the world of work or they may piss someone off who does not need to pussyfoot around them and learn there lesson quick sharp.

FairyMum I agree there are some children like that.