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Misogyny and how should schools address it?

69 replies

mids2019 · 18/12/2025 06:27

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9qednjzwv1o

Although I think on the whole I do agree with the below I do have some doubts about the extent schools should be teaching pupils about relationships and how do you define misogyny at the periphery.

Are we in danger of making fgirls think all boys/men are misogynists? At a really sensitive part of development how do we identify those boys are truly misogynist and not those that maybe make comments about a girl's figure , the frequency of which would make it difficult to poliice?

The article does read as if schools should be viewing all teenage relationships with suspicion with the very high rates of states abuse so is this also a call for children to refrain from relationships until adulthood!

A group of year five pupils sat down facing the front of a classroom. The students are wearing blue jumpers and blue polo shirts and none of their faces are visible.

Teachers to be trained to spot early signs of misogyny in boys

The measure is part of the government's strategy to tackle violence against women and girls which will be unveiled on Thursday.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9qednjzwv1o

OP posts:
HoneyParsnipSoup · 18/12/2025 12:42

Setyoufree · 18/12/2025 12:39

This is why I send my daughters to a girls school where they're free to be educated without sexual comments from boys, free to kick a football around at lunchtime, free from boys taking up all the teachers time in maths/science (as they did all the time in primary....). Unfortunately very rare to get state girls schools and the government's policy on private schools is forcing many co-ed, sadly.

We really should bring girls schools back. I went to one, it was incredible.

Head teacher - female
Prefects - female
Head girl - obviously female!
Captain of all sports teams - female
Best scientist - female
Best mathematician - female

Female was the default. There were no boys to subtly inflict their judgement on our choice of activity or muscle in when we tried to do something because of their need to be better.

Hoping to send DD to one, and DS to all boys because of the above.

GeneralPeter · 18/12/2025 12:43

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/12/2025 12:40

I was talking about boys being better at maths. That doesn’t need saying.

Men being more violent than women needs saying as much as possible. I agree with pomp who said girls and women are getting weaker and l agree with this.

"Doesn't need saying" depends on when and for what purpose.

"Should be banned and punished", when talking about a hypothesis for a difference observed in the world, is virtually never right in my view.

Meadowfinch · 18/12/2025 12:45

Checknotmymate · 18/12/2025 12:11

Surely it is to be more expected in private/public school because social dominance is the name of the game?

Social dominance 😂 wtf!!

Any decent school would stamp down hard on misogynistic behaviour, regardless of state or private.

I've just asked ds if he's ever heard extreme misogyny at his school and he said "No, that would just be so cringe."

He's 17, been at a small private school for 6.5 years. Plenty of strong female teachers and me as an independent single mum.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/12/2025 12:50

GeneralPeter · 18/12/2025 12:43

"Doesn't need saying" depends on when and for what purpose.

"Should be banned and punished", when talking about a hypothesis for a difference observed in the world, is virtually never right in my view.

Why are you even on a thread about male entitled behaviour?

GeneralPeter · 18/12/2025 12:51

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/12/2025 12:50

Why are you even on a thread about male entitled behaviour?

Interesting debate, and important one.

Meadowfinch · 18/12/2025 12:57

GeneralPeter · 18/12/2025 12:43

"Doesn't need saying" depends on when and for what purpose.

"Should be banned and punished", when talking about a hypothesis for a difference observed in the world, is virtually never right in my view.

That's fair enough, but most teachers are too busy trying to get pupils to focus on the subject in hand to stray in to a discussion on male violence.
Telling someone to stop talking rubbish if they express a sexist view is really all there is time for in class.
It's useful for knowing which pupils hold unacceptable views and need additional guidance though.

Hirral · 18/12/2025 13:03

ApplebyArrows · 18/12/2025 12:42

Your average 12-year-old male arsehole opining on how boys are better than girls at maths is not giving, or interested in giving, an argument supported by evidence!

And in almost every case, young Mr Clever Clogs the Self-Certified Male Genius will actually find that there are probably girls who are better at maths than he is in the very same room.

He’s not going to learn how to form a reasoned argument by being shut down and told he’s sexist. Sometimes a claim like that might be relevant (eg a kid asks why the top set has more boys in it. Another kid says it’s because boys are better at maths).

The most educational response is to ask the student about arguments for and against his claim. Or perhaps to say you disagree and why. If you don’t have time for that just ignore it.

I honestly don’t think most teachers can be trusted to adjudicate on these questions. They often have their own prejudices, as this thread demonstrates.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/12/2025 13:08

Hirral · 18/12/2025 13:03

He’s not going to learn how to form a reasoned argument by being shut down and told he’s sexist. Sometimes a claim like that might be relevant (eg a kid asks why the top set has more boys in it. Another kid says it’s because boys are better at maths).

The most educational response is to ask the student about arguments for and against his claim. Or perhaps to say you disagree and why. If you don’t have time for that just ignore it.

I honestly don’t think most teachers can be trusted to adjudicate on these questions. They often have their own prejudices, as this thread demonstrates.

They have to follow whole school guidance. It’s as simple as that. If they don’t they lose their jobs.

What amazing job do you do where you think teachers can’t be trusted when they are following governmental and SMT guidance?

Thoughtless and naive comment.

Mischance · 18/12/2025 13:10

I had 3 DDs and now have 5 GSs. I am acutely aware if how they worry about how they are seen as a threat or unacceptable in some way ... it is something they talk about. Seems sad.
Maybe these lessons need to be joint ones where both boys and girls discuss respect (and self respect) and kindness together.

Hirral · 18/12/2025 13:10

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/12/2025 13:08

They have to follow whole school guidance. It’s as simple as that. If they don’t they lose their jobs.

What amazing job do you do where you think teachers can’t be trusted when they are following governmental and SMT guidance?

Thoughtless and naive comment.

Presumably the guidance does not include a detailed list of every possible objectionable comment and therefore teachers have to use their own judgment at times?

JohnofWessex · 18/12/2025 13:13

What about tackling misogyny in society as a whole?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/12/2025 13:17

Hirral · 18/12/2025 13:10

Presumably the guidance does not include a detailed list of every possible objectionable comment and therefore teachers have to use their own judgment at times?

It would probably say
Homophobia
Misogony
Racism
Anti disability
And comments about religion.
Gender
Trans

How could it POSSIBLY list everything? Get real. ‘Teachers can’t be trusted’ and now they have to have a list of every possible comment😂

Hirral · 18/12/2025 13:21

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/12/2025 13:17

It would probably say
Homophobia
Misogony
Racism
Anti disability
And comments about religion.
Gender
Trans

How could it POSSIBLY list everything? Get real. ‘Teachers can’t be trusted’ and now they have to have a list of every possible comment😂

I said that teachers can’t be trusted to decide what is and is not an acceptable opinion. Another poster said all teachers just follow guidance, so all they have to be trusted to do is follow guidance. I was disagreeing and saying that unless the guidance includes an exhaustive list of every objectionable opinion, teachers will actually have to use their own judgment about what is or is not misogyny.

surreygirly · 18/12/2025 13:22

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/12/2025 09:32

What slippery slope?

This needs to happen and fast. It’s not about interpretation or jokes.

It’s a GOOD thing.

Edited

No it is bad
who do you think you are to tell others what they are allowed to think or say
That's what happens in China
Hong Kong
Albania
It is what happened in nazi Germany

Liberal people are very liberal until someone is different from them
They they become fascist

Snorlaxo · 18/12/2025 13:34

I suspect that boys will listen to men rather than women about this topic. As a pp said, they need to see positive male role models like men in caring professions rather than lessons where they are told that watching Andrew Tate or exchanging sexta is bad.

I’ve not really heard any men discuss the negative effects of things like online porn. I think that a lot of blatant misogyny comes from porn and maybe boys need to hear things from a man such as watching too much porn will affect their enjoyment of actual sex. With so many boys growing up without a dad, maybe men could come up with talks and lessons about stuff that dads would have discussed with sons in the past. With so much violence in online porn, I can’t help but wonder if there is more violence and rape compared to the past and if it’s even more extreme because many men’s brain chemistry has been permanently changed.

I wonder if the use of men who are closer in age to the pupils would be the most effective? I know that teachers can be very young but pupils may respond better to a man in their early 20s rather than middle age?

Araminta1003 · 18/12/2025 14:13

DD was originally going to do an EPQ on how male dominated industries might be more likely to strike as they know that politicians are more likely to give in to their demands because there are more male politicians. Sadly she dropped it to take up further maths. I guess that was the ultimate feminist action though judging by this thread.

ZoeCM · 18/12/2025 14:14

I don't think schools can do much here. MRA ideology is all over YouTube, which is the world's top streaming platform. Nothing that teachers say is going to counteract this.

I think a lot of people have spent years saying that children don't need fathers. People say this to let absent fathers off the hook, and to reassure mothers who feel guilt that their children are growing up without a father. But it isn't true. Reddit is full of men who are brimming with resentment at having grown up without a father, and felt stifled with a single mother.

The problem is that whenever anyone tries to discuss this, people go on the defensive. They immediately jump to strawman arguments such as "Are you saying it's better for children to grow up in a household where their father treats their mother like dirt?" But I don't think anyone, except for religious extremists, actually believes that.

There is no more effective positive male role model than a good father. Imagine if a gay male couple had a baby by a surrogate mother, and dismissed concerns about how she'll be affected by the lack of a mother with "It's okay, she has a female ballet teacher/netball coach." Most people would find the idea that could substitute for an absent mother laughable.

I think ultimately there needs to be much, much harsher social condemnation of fathers who walk away from their children. It should not be seen as okay in any circumstances. The step-parenting board is jaw-dropping: a lot of people seem to think fathers essentially become "uncles" when they split up with the child's mother, and are "helping" their ex by taking care of their own kids. Even if a woman lies about being on contraception (which is obviously an appalling thing to do) men should accept that every time they have sex with a woman, they're risking becoming a father.

Having more fathers stick around isn't a silver bullet, it won't end misogyny - but it would be much more effective than anything schools can provide.

Pickledpoppetpickle · 22/12/2025 14:05

Sandyoldshoes · 18/12/2025 08:35

It’s really important that schools don’t use the phrase ‘toxic masculinity’, large numbers of boys feel ‘got at’ and unsure of their place in the world; telling them they are toxic fuels this. What is needed is to demonstrate positive masculinity and good role models (and not just footballers, TikTokers etc). Ordinary men being good men. Make teachers (and women too) being aware of the impact of their words (don’t run like a girl, gossiping like old women, over policing girls uniform, lower behaviour standards expected from boys, allowing boys to dominate spaces,). Boys hate being laughed at by their peers. we need to understand what is fuelling this and tackle it sensitively to avoid a. Backlash -inadvertently making it even cooler to be misogynistic. https://workingwithboys.com/ Is a really interesting read.

I'm a PSHE lead. None of this is new to me and in my school we've been doing most of the stuff in the new guidance for years. We take PSHE seriously and ensure our staff have good support and guidance. I make careful choices about staffing - many of my colleagues can't say the word sex without outwardly and visibly dying of shame - they can't be let lose with this content. Fortunately my head understands that. There needs to be funding and support for the teachers who want to teach this stuff. I was just given a few lessons some years ago and realised it was my calling but many schools struggle to get the right people in place.

Some boys are worrying to work with. Misogyny is rife. It is increasing. Some of the comments I hear are deeply disturbing. Many girls struggle to see how it impacts them - they're not at the point of working, having babies etc so don't understand that bigger picture due to inexperience. Sexualised comments they see as a comment on their attractiveness. The truly feminist girls with a full picture understanding are laughed at. We work hard at broadening understanding. It is an uphill battle and some days upsetting.

Parents also need to work hard at challenging both boys and girls appropriately. It is heartening to see Eastenders try to show what is happening too - hopefully this is opening parental eyes to the reality of what is going on.

mids2019 · 27/12/2025 10:58

I note the conservative party's view was teaching 11 years old about misogyny was a distraction from misogyny as part of differing cultures. Do we have to teach about misogyny in different ways to people with diverse cultures and religions. Does a one size fits all package work?

One of the comments I heard recently was that boys do feel that they do not know where they stand - is a comment about a girl's appearance a natural compliment or the this edge of misogyny. Boys comment on girl's faces but also figures (including breasts) and is this part of our nature and will be ever thus or is this a point where we call sexualized comments about girls/women wrong at any age. Can this change in culture be achieved or will there be backlash about suppressing essentially human nature with this?

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