Work Experience disaster 14 yr old

[Sula1978]

I have a well behaved 14 year old son. Slightly shy, academic, sporty and keen to be a teacher. My son decided to apply for his work experience at the local primary. It's near our house and his sister goes there. He has just done three days there and has been crucified on the feedback.

We explained to him on the first day to politely introduce himself to the head, go to his mentor with any issues, be helpful and most importantly enjoy it. Got there day 1 and no introduction, no induction, no mentor and left in a cupboard on his own for lunch. The teacher clearly did not want him there. She gave him no chair and left him outside the class sticking worksheets in books for 3 days. He went back to his own school today to a letter from the Primary school saying he was caught playing rock, paper, scissors with the 6 year olds and was seen to pretend bowl a cricket ball along the corridor. He had a bad attitude and was a poor communicator. He's so upset as thought he had done well but was called out of class today to explain.

Should I speak to the Primary to ask why he was crucified or leave it?

Did he do those things? I don't think you should contact the primary school, maybe his school to explain that the placement didn't work, he wasn't given anything purposeful to do etc, however even if bored he should've behaved professionally. What did he say when he was called out of class to explain?

That's awful. The poor boy. What a horrible experience for him, I hope you've been able to reassure him. I'd probably ask his secondary school to get in touch with the primary school and say that's not inkeeping with the kind of child he is and can they have a phone call to find out more or something? But i probably wouldnt be able to resist having a quiet word with the primary school too, if you're there every day with your other child!

Bad timing with it being half term, I hope he doesn't fret on it all week xx

I’ve never come across a school giving someone bad feedback for work experience!

That sounds awful. It’s a two way thing so I’d be submitting a report to your son’s school about the suitability of the other school as a work experience site.

What’s wrong with playing rock paper scissors?!? It’s about the most benign game ever and I bet the 6 year olds loved it.

It’s a bit much to expect a 14 year old to know what professional behaviour looks like when it’s his first time in the workplace, especially when the staff member isn’t behaving particularly professionally.

I would arrange a meeting with your son and his secondary school guidance teacher (or equivalent) and the person who arranges work experience. The primary school accepted a child (your son) on a work experience placement then provided inadequate supervision, mentoring and experience. The secondary school should not place any other pupils there.

His crimes are rock, paper, scissors and pretending to bowl a ball in a presumably empty corridor? I get he should be professional, but a 14 year old professional is not the same as a 44 year old professional. Its common to play games with young kids in primary school, and what would they do to an adult teacher/support who pretend bowled a ball?! Ridiculous.

As above, feedback to his school about how they treated him. Some glueing wouldve been ok but not consistently, and he should have been in the staff room for lunch.

Are there any issues with dd at all? Could there be any reason they dont want him in the staff room? If so, they shouldnt have accepted him for placement.

That's completely ridiculous - I've seen teachers pretend to bowl a ball and play games with children!

Ah that’s a shame for him! I’m a teacher and have definitely been known to play rock paper scissors with the pupils and I’m pretty sure I’ve bowled a few imaginary cricket balls down the corridor!
it’s a shame they didn’t give him any feedback while he was there if he was so ‘bad’
and worse that they didn’t interact with him.
I’d probably ask his current school to explore it a bit more with the primary school.

I didn't really focus on the pretend ball and rock paper scissors, more on the comments that he had a bad attitude and was a poor communicator. They are sweeping statements that need further examples, how else will he learn? I still don't think the placement are the right people to approach though.

Wow that's such a horrible experience.
It sounds like they were acting like teachers teaching and reprimanding him, not giving him his first experience of work.
I would be furious.
I remember my work experience was in an accountants and most of the time they did have me doing shitty filing they didnt want to do. But they were really nice and showed me a few things about the actual job. Although I wasnt allowed to do any actual client work, just some adding up, filing etc. But he should have been allowed in the staff room at lunch surely not left in a cupboard.
I do remember that after my work experience i decided I never wanted to be an acccountant though.

That’s really horrible of the school and I would be furious. The whole point of work experience is that they learn about the workplace, he sounds like he was fobbed off and made to feel unwelcome. Even if he was caught doing the things they said, it’s hardly crime of the century is it? Interacting with little kids, whatever next!

I would speak to your son’s school and let them feedback to the placement. Appreciate it may be awkward if your other child attends the primary but I wouldn’t be letting them get away with treating my child like that, not only did he get nothing useful from the experience but im sure the feedback will have really dented his confidence. Arseholes.

That’s so sad. Your poor son. 14 is so young really, you’d expect a primary school to understand that. My DS pretends to bowl a cricket all the time 😁 nothing wrong with rock paper scissors. I’d be fuming at the school!

Jesus unless there's large chunks missing the school sound kinda dick-ish.

Not necessarily the point but I'd try and arrange another nice / normal work experience for him.

Also I read the rock paper scissors and fake bowling and thought it sounded SO nice and sweet of him!!!!
was slightly slack jawed interacting and playing with the children was deemed offensive/ terrible 🫠🥴

Their character assassination sucks but also potentially a good time to teach your son opinions arent all equal (and some peoples suck and should be ignored).

I'd also want a face 2 face with those concerned so I could ask some pertinent yet awkward questions and then stare them down while they flail about and look embarassed

That's disgraceful from a school, I'd arrange a meeting with your school and say you want to complain about the lack of professionalism in the feedback.

School sounds rubbish!

I would go back to the secondary school and ask them what to do- the feedback given seems quite woolly and also not age appropriate for a 14year old.

He should have been given specific tasks to do within the classroom and told how to conduct himself. “Please listen to each of these children read. Make a positive comment in their reading book, and initial/date it.” Or you work with this group of children and help them with any spelling and punctuation. I think the placement school sounds dire.

How did a 14yr old boy get allowed free rein in a primary school, to the extent he was ‘caught’ playing a game with 6yr olds. This can’t be real!

I'm a retired HoD and I'm afraid that I've been known to dance in the corridor whilst singing 'The Sun Has Got His Hat On'. (Not during class time, but in front of pupils.)

I’m really sorry! I hate this shit - imagine crucifying a 14 year old kid with feedback! He has all the time in the world for shitty appraisals when he’s actually working - this should have been well structured and nurturing for him ffs. It’s definitely not a him problem and I would work at turning it into a learning experience that with the best will in the world there are just some shitty people out there. You know your ds and I totally accept your account of what he is actually like. Sometimes shyness can come across as diffidence but he should be absolutely being told what to do constructively at his age and not expected to use all his initiative.

Could there be any reason they dont want him in the staff room?

They would possibly be discussing things it was inappropriate for him to hear.

I had a similar experience with my own work experience, not really given anything to do then ripped apart in feedback. I now know the business owner is known for that kind if behaviour and really unpleasant to work for.

I was allowed to do another work experience at a local paper. They gave me a great week and good feedback. It's an early lesson in "sometimes it's not you, it's them".

They must have thought you were….kerazzzzyyyy!

Also, what a shit school to be using so many worksheets! Like it’s 1994.

If he had a bad attitude, as you say, he'll have been a massive hindrance.