If you have a child in Y1 or Y2 what is your after school routine?

[Criteria16]

DS(6), an only child (and no pets) seems to only be interested in food and watching TV after school. And we are relatively ok with it as he's in extra curricular activities most days and we recognize the need to chill. However, while we are not opposed of a bit of TV, this is getting out of hand as doesn't want to do anything else we suggest or ask (going for a walk, helping out with preparing dinner, playing together, talking to the grandparents over facetime....). We never ever watched TV when eating dinner, but now it's such a struggle to ask him to switch it off, and then he wants more before going to bed.
While we are still firm in saying no, this needs to end and we are considering not having the TV on at all.

What do your children do that can inspire me?

You dont have ‘to fill’ those 2 hours. Let your child decompress, zone out, relax, be on their own, chill out.

In the 90’s kids didn’t need to be ferried from one activity to the next for every minute of the day and we were allowed to do what made us happy after school (which included perhaps a couple of clubs a week if we wanted to go - I did Brownies and swimming). Our whole family is very active and I didn’t do sport clubs apart from the one mentioned above as a child.

I bet your child absolutely loves having 2 hours after school to do what they want and relax. Please dont stress over it.

This and 100 percent agree

Lots of good ideas here.
I also try to get out of the mindset of getting her to 'do something'. Children learn huge amounts from what you model to them. I used to resort to TV so I could sort dinner, washing and because she'd have meltdowns (because she was tired) that I didn't want to deal with.
I then started modelling. So when we got in, I'd sit down and read a book or start doing a jigsaw. Or I'd say, I saw a beautiful flower today, I'm going to paint a picture of it' and it all became much less about getting her to do/produce/play with something. I would be quite passive as well, and tell her she's welcome to join me but she doesn't have to. More often that not, she'll join in or go and do her own reading (looking at books)/jigsaw/picture or whatever. I find this regulates her and helps her settle. Then she's happier to carry on doing the activity or playing by herself while I sort the bits I need to.
I also think it's good for her to me not rushing around all the time which I tend to do!
I don't do this every day now (I don't have to now as she's got better at going off and doing stuff). Of course sometimes when it's one of those days we just go straight to cbeebies.

@Criteria16 he has a yoto, and our local library uses borrow box so it's easy to get him new things for it. Depends on his mood where he listens to it to be honest! Sometimes with headphones on in the same room as us, sometimes in his own room, often if it's a non-fiction he'll listen without headphones in the room with us and repeat the facts we've all just heard...

We have v similar with our 5yo who is TV obsessed especially when he's tired after school. One thing that is different in our routines is that the kids have dinner earlier than yours- like 5/5.30pm and I notice that that can be a bit of a reset- he's usually much happier to play outside, roam around upstairs with his sister, get into games etc- after dinner than before. Maybe it's just he's full and has a burst of energy, I don't know. So we often let him have an hour or so of TV 4-5ish and then it's off for the rest of the day (for them! I'm in front of it now- ha) I don't know if you'd consider trying that...

Maybe I have given the wrong idea but I am in not looking at putting him in any clubs or do any specific activity. I do want him to chill and decompress and do nothing. But that nothingness is becoming watching TV from the moment he gets home to the moment we eat, no stop, every day. I dint think it’s healthy or balanced and I’d prefer he would relax mixing in some play ideally.
Just looking for inspiration on how others manage their evenings, or similar situations and so far it’s so comforting to see we are not alone!

Great suggestion actually! Thanks so much !

He wakes up at around 7,30/7,45am. He tends to sleep 11 hours without waking up. He’s a Y2 child, soon ti be 7.

I would think about all the activities they have done in the school day. They will have been none stop all day at school with a mixture of learning and playing. I think its totally fine if they do want to just chill out and perhaps they really need that time (all kids are different). Some thrive off doing sports every night and others just want quiet time in front of the tv. We’re always out at the weekends (walks, country parks, days out, seeing family/friends) so a couple of hours in front of the tv after school would never worry me.

Is your child happy out and about at the weekend or wanting to sit and watch tv all the time? I’d only worry if they didn’t want to do things at the weekend, then i’d worry tv was an actual obsession. After the busy school day, I totally understand any child that just wants to relax.

Year 2 and Year 6.

Kids get home about 3.30.
2 days a week its 4.15 due to clubs.

TV or Ipad is on for an hour or two after school (mostly as I'm not usually home from work yet and their dad is quite lazy so relys on screens a lot) - sometimes part of that time is homework for the eldest off at 5.30pm at the latest then we'll usually have tea. Then at the moment we're tending to take the dog out to the park for an hour or hour and a half before bed most nights.

One night a week they have clubs
(swimming for youngest - cubs for eldest)

When it gets darker earlier or if the weather's really grim we'll probably do a shorter dog walk (or sometimes ive already walked the dog early morning) so then they mostly just read or play a board game or lego or something before bed instead - and often have longer playing in the bath to kill a bit of time or more reading in bed. Days we've been out to the park its just a quick shower.

I would like them to take a more active role in preparing meals but theyre just not remotely interested unless it's pancakes or puff pastry rolls.

Our kids mental health has to come first.

We’ve always done swimming as both loved it and the odd other club along the way, other than that, they can do anything they want after school before dinner/bath etc. Both are very happy kids, both in the top groups (because they enjoy Maths/English and not because we’re pushy) and both loved tv after school.

It does worry me that primary age kids are having so little time to just decompress. I bet if anyone asked a Primary school teacher, they would be first to say let the child just relax. A school day is filled with so many activities in itself, children should be coming home completely exhausted from it! 😅

Why's it ok for you to chill out with some TV but not him?
Make sure he's doing all homework and chores same as everyone else. But otherwise what's the problem?

This is us too. I used to be much stricter about it but my kids come home at 4:45 every day (private school, and do clubs every day) totally shattered. So if they want to watch TV, that's fine (just not while they eat dinner). Other things they sometimes choose to do after school: arts and crafts, reading, riding their bike, playing in the garden. Ironically, by allowing them more freedom over TV, they're less interested in it. They're allowed to use their ipads before dinner too but I can't remember the last time they did.

This is my older one's usual routine (and has been for a while), depending on weather and other commitments:

• Monday - playground.
• Tuesday - swimming lesson.
• Wednesday - football + playground.
• Thursday - art club + library
• Friday - playground.

I've found that if I put the big Lego basket or other toys or games out in the living-room before collecting my DC, they gravitate to those when we return home rather than going straight for the TV. Though tbh we're busy enough that I don't mind a few hours of TV here and there.

Take the batteries out of the remote, unplug it and tell DS that it's broken.

He's 6 and shattered after school. Why does everything need to be wholesome and productive. I absolutely loved my TV as a kid and would rather they were watching that as a relaxing activity than shooting zombies on an I pad. Also there's nothing more annoying than when you are watching something and being constantly interrupted and told you should be doing something else. So at 6 then can understand the concept of work and reward. I would give warning of dinner time, stop 15 mins before. Switch off, help lay table etc. Have chill time before bed as well.

My 5 year old, when not in wrap around care, (which is most of the week), watches loads of TV after school. Don't have a problem with it, as long as it's off at teatime.

I'm a primary school teacher and kids are shattered in the afternoon sessions, never mind after school, especially the younger ones.

Let them chill, just have a cut off point so it doesn't creep into bedtime routine.
For us, as soon as tea is on the table, it goes off.

After school every day I watched TV for like 2 hours, and had chocolate spread on bread, like an inch thick every single day.

I did very well at school, no harm done.

DS(8) is at school/wraparound from 07:30-2:00 (not UK).He has 1-2 hours homework after school and does a sports club 3 times a week. We did have chess club, too, but it’s a full-on week.

Therefore, I am quite lax with TV. We do use the media libraries to watch, though, so choose rather than watch random stuff.

Separately, we‘ve spent some time helping him recognise what he needs to decompress. Playing in his room with an audio book works well. Often he‘ll go straight to his toys

The kids who don’t go to wraparound finish school at 12:30. They tend to meet on the field at 3pm, so if he’s finished his homework and isn’t shattered by then, I‘ll send him there with a football.

edit: he doesn’t have a tablet.

Could you arrange play dates 1 or 2 days a week after school, with his school pals? I’ve got 2 children so they just happily play together however I’m not sure they’d happily play alone / just with me as they generally enjoy this more with another child, I know it’s a lot of effort after a long day but might break the cycle on those days at least! Park / out for tea one night maybe or picnic in the garden while it’s still fairly warm! X

We don’t set a particular limit on it. He does watch it every day after school but will turn off when bored. He has three evenings where he does a club / sport and another day he’s in after school club until 5.15. We also often stop at the playground on the way back. He doesn’t have a tablet and we never have screens at mealtimes so I’m ok with this. I figure he needs the down time and chill time just like we do after the end of a busy day at work! We still talk to him, do stories etc.

Yes lets mentally wear our kids out and never allow them any downtime/tv time which most adults have a after work (even if its 10pm for us).

If he’s doing well at school and has plenty of outdoor activities at the weekend, why can’t he flop out after school? Has the OP asked her child why he’s not playing with toys? I’d suggest he’s tired from learning/playing all day. Give the poor child a break!

there are plenty of ways of having downtime without resorting to gawping at a screen.

Gawping at a screen 😂 I usually find the kids that are denied anything are the ones that go on to binge on it when the are older snd make their own decisions (sweets/screens etc). Mine were never denied tv and they walk miles every weekend. Also allowed a sweet treat after school…ooh the horror! 😱

We’ve been having the same conversations here, DD has just started year 2 and just turned 7. It’s the tablet here that we struggle with a bit. Don’t get me wrong, she does plenty of other things, we’re lucky to live next to a park with a cycle path around the outside and near town for a walk etc, but it does seem to be the ‘go to’ when at home. What I’ve done is really try and do things that she loves, she loves a colouring/drawing competition and we’ve also started to each guess how long it’ll take us to do a puzzle and then set a stop watch and see who ‘wins’ and whoever does, then gets to choose the next activity (not including tablet haha) sounds a bit lame, but it’s a good 20 mins each time!
I think the other thing to say is it seems a little extreme to suddenly just turn it off completely and I’ve started to say after school, ‘ok you have until 4pm for the tablet’ (roughly 25 mins) before it’s going off and we do something else. Then I give a 10 min and 5 min warning so she knows what’s happening. I’m trying hard to stick to this! Good luck