Are there any Safeguarding Leads here?

[Thismummyrunstheshow]

I have a question about an incident with my child earlier in the year on a school trip. My child mentioned some additional information to me a few weeks ago whilst we were abroad. This was new information to me in regards to a whole investigation that had taken place and I’m so angry with the school. My child has since left this school so unsure whether to follow through with any communication and would like some advice.
If there is anyone, I will give further detail of my concern.

Thanks in advance

It’s so sad to hear teachers negate this incident. If this had happened to an adult with a learning disability (for example) it would be classed as safeguarding. Unfortunately we live in a society where we allow institutional abuse of children e.g. locking of toilets which would never be tolerated in a workplace for adults.

BTW I’ve worked in senior safeguarding roles for children and adults.

If you are as harsh and lacking in empathy as you are coming across then I would imagine there are girls that are genuinely struggling (practically or emotionally) that would not approach you.

No matter what the teachers may have been carrying, it doesn’t sound like OPs daughter knew this or felt confident enough to speak up.

If you believe there might have been a safeguarding concern then let the school know so they can discuss what they might learn from it.

Then encourage your DD to move on. New school, new start. Let it lie now.

This is a very interesting comparison. I avoided Duke of Edinburgh out of fear of managing my period whilst camping. This idea of having to ask a teacher for sanitary pads horrifies me even as an adult! Removing all clothes and personal hygiene products overnight surely isn't normal? How would they manage a kid with an asthma inhaler? If they didn't bother to check if any girls needed sanitary products I wouldn't have much faith in them checking medication needs.

Well, as you state you’re the DSL in a secondary school. Not a primary school where not many girls will have started their periods and this could easily be only the first time this child has had to navigate a period while away from home.

You avoiding experiences that could enhance your life, because you are a woman who has a period, makes me feel sad for you.

There wouldn't generally be any need for anyone to ask for sanitary products. They are freely available to take in the schools I know. Excellent progress from when I was at school in the 90s, I think.

Removing this child's bag and belongings IS unusual. It wouldn't be something done lightly. Evidently, as OP pointed out, a safeguarding incident lead to that happening. I don't know what that incident was, we can't speculate. But safeguarding children always trumps everything else. So if this had to happen due to safeguarding needs, then it had to happen. Period. (No pun intended, but did make me smike)

So in this unusual case, unusual things had to happen. Because of safeguarding - which will always come first. And do we are lead to the mild inconvenience of this girl sleeping in day-cloths. And (we speculating here, because OP has mentioned nothing about sanitary products) possibly have to say something to someone if she needed - on this one-off occasion - some assistance getting sanitary products. If we can't teach our girls not to be embrassed to do to occasionally, I worry for the progress of women.

I am (secondary DSL that is, not primary). And that does give me a differing perspective. I accept that.

I'm also the Mum of a 10yo (just finished Year 5) who started her periods in February. Not to mention her older siblings, and that experience. So I have direct experience as a Mum of this too.

When we spoke to her Y5 teacher about this, the teacher shared with us that she's by no means alone. She shared no names or details, but explained there are a good handful of girls in her year who have periods, so she needn't feel on her own. Plus, the teacher said that by Y6 there is ususlly a fairly large proportion who's periods have started. Again, she named no names, bit not an unusual Big Thing.

I have further spoken to primary schools in my Multi Academy Trust about this, professionally. Granted, only conversationally.

I maintain that making periods into A Big Thing - that is anything other than a normal part of life that does not need to be limiting - is ultimately an attitude that is detrimental to girls.

Assuming she slept in clothes because she didn't have a sleeping wear? Are you suggesting sleeping naked would be better?

Er, I’m assuming pyjamas was the preference?!

being on her period is nothing to do with anything. (And a huge bug-bear of mine when girls whine - it is a whine - "but my period..!" like this is a massive big deal)

Lovely misogynistic comment about periods, but my assumption was just that the daughter might need some clean underwear.

For some women and girls periods are a big thing for various reasons. Your inability and complete refusal to accept that is a massive blind spot that is detrimental to the girls you are in charge of.

I agree that periods shouldn’t be made a big deal if but I don’t think your initial sneering response to the OP’s concerns about her DD being in her period (pretty disgusting if she isn’t allowed a change of underwear at the very least - an expectation of that isn’t life-limiting, it’s basic hygiene and she was on a school residential not some kind of “let’s make you better people by not showering for a week” challenge) is any better. And it’s completely dismissive of those girls whose periods aren’t a walk in the park.

It sounds to me like the school were trying to deal with a difficult situation, and there is nothing that would be a safeguarding red flag there for me.

It's unfortunate that your dd was on her period. I'm sure if she had spoken to a sympathetic adult that would have been taken into account and she would have been given what she needed.

Since your daughter has now left the school, I would let bygones be bygones, acknowledge her feelings but try to put it all behind you and move on. Approaching the school now won't gain anyone anything, really.

It might make the school think again the next time a situation like this arises. Anyone who works with children and young people should understand that some CYP find it incredibly difficult to ask for help and / or talk about periods. If you’re the safeguarding lead you absolutely need to have this basic awareness. Not every child is lucky enough to have inner confidence. A safeguarding lead should also have the insight that some children live in homes were periods are seen as shameful. I am NOT saying this is the case here (I was brought up perfectly well I wouldn’t have asked - no idea why).

It might help in the future to remind staff that there might be girls on their period , which will need managed , especially if they’re not all confident/comfortable with speaking out. It was probably an oversight(especially if dealing with a significant incident) .