DS1 says school is boring and does not want to go

[albosmum]

To all mumsnetters please help with the following problem
My ds1 who has always enjoyed school and does well started saying last term he did not want to go ant more - it was boring and they did the same stuff over and over again, every morning we have a long protracted converstaion on why he has to go to school and so far I have not had to drag him down the street.

His assesment scores have dropped from 4c at the end of year 3 to 3b in the first term of year 4.

I have been to see his teacher on 3 occasions
firstly we thought it may be he felt he had no competition and asked her to mark his work harder she has done this but it has made little difference.

But the last two times she says this is the nature of the national currculum - it is repetitive but DS will just have to cope with it + he does not always get all his work right. I said he used to and he is bored and cannot be bothered any more. Plus I said in yr 1 and 2 he was in extenision groups for maths for those who were gifted and talented - could he not get this in year 4. THe teacher said staff time was a problem.

What could I or my sons teacher do to help him?
Am I expecting too much?
Is their anything I can specifically ask for?

I am really worried that ds has stagnated and I will eventually be unable to persuade him to attend school at all.

• I know it is not bullying that was my first thought but I have ruled it out.

Hope this makes sense

Oh god just went to see year head expressed my concerns re: DS . She basically said that ds not doing well, not exceptional in fact she had to help him last week - even if they did do these extension activities DS would not do them.

I do not understand how you can be G&T in yr 1& 2 but not in yr 4. Has he peaked, am I being pushy. He has always been top of the class and now he is not.

Do I leave it at that and hope DS just gets over whatever is making him not want to go to school.

I am now really upset and cerying I feel thatby letting this go on into 2 terms I have let ds down and should have addressed th issue much sooner

Hmm, it's a really difficult one and I agree that it's hard to understand how one year he can be diagnosed as g&t and next year not. Is there any chance of getting a SENCO appointment to talk you through the way they actually decide on whether someone is g&t or not? I suspect the criteria may be quite arbitrary and different for different schools, LEA areas etc. And she may be able to tell you what's changed in your DS's educational abilities from last year to this.

And also, could it be a teacher thing as someone else has suggested? (ie last year liked his teacher and this year doesn't, and it might get better next year?) - but I agree if it is, it's a long time to sit it out.

thank you for help will keep you updated on progress have stopped crying and pulled myself together

Poor you. It does sound like it is a teacher "thing", but agree you should also go back and see the SENCO. My DD does like her teacher, but does not like her French teacher - she says the work is too "babyish" and that they are treated like babies. I know French Teacher has a problem - class ranges from those who are completely bilingual, those who have done some French at home (like my DD) and those to whom it is completely new.

What do we do at home? Lots of reading, creative writing (she is very into poetry and rhyming), drawing. She also likes crosswords (the sort in the Angelina Ballerina comics, not the Telegraph!) and other kind of word games (anagrams etc). I don't do much mathsy type stuff with her but she got DK's "I Love Maths!" computer game for Christmas and is rattling through it. I think variety is good - not necessarily more difficult stuff, but different things. She is also (very bizarrely, in my view, but she id a bit anorakky!) very interested in grammar!

Incidentally I am not convinced my DD is G & T, but would just say she is bright. I think she would have been quite happy to have been moved straight into Year Two after Reception, and as she is tall, would not have looked out of place!

Poor you albosmum - this does not sound good. I'm not really sure what you can do, other than trying to boost his self-esteem, and concentrate on praising him for any effort he does make, good concentration and so on, and forget about the 'results' for now.

Maybe someone else will post who has experience of underachievement in previously highly motivated kids.

Please do keep posting and let us know how you get on.

Message withdrawn

Dear Albosmum
Just wondered if you'd seen today's Guardian. In the Education supplement there is a list of useful websites for Gifted and Talented children.
Good luck.

That's interesting Ellbell - I had come across a lot of those sites already, but not all.

link is here is anyone else is interested

thank you will lookk at them later although apparently may not be G&T anyway.
Just tto update I have asked ds to bring his school books home this weekend to get an idea of what is happening with his work plus thinking of trying to get a tutor to get some idea re: level he is operating at as we don't want him falling behind

Hi albosmum - I noticed you on here tonight, and just wondered how your ds is getting on, an whether he's any happier about school?