Did you hate school, or were you too scared to go to school?

[TwinklyTaupePanda]

If you are over 18 years old, (please say if you are in your 20s, 30s, 40s, etc), did you hate school or too scared to go to school? Please tell me your views, and which country you were in school.

I was in school in Malaysia in the late 70s, 80s, I cannot remember anyone
too frightened to be in school. I remember ranting about something or other every evening, but not the extent of hating. I remember a teacher refusing to come to our class, but no peer refusing to come to school.

I'm hoping to understand what has changed, what happened, what are the possible causes, that so many are not in school, or if they are in school, they cannot attend lessons.

What do you think will help, to educate our children and young people?

20’s hated school in Manchester, England up until 6 years old. Was anxious and tearful

Moved down south, school was amazing until I was 11-13.
was the best years after that until I was 17.

Hated uni.

In terms of what has happened...

Firstly, I'd like to see a good study of comparative data historically and internationally. My hunch is that there have always been a large number of truants, but back in the day, truanting kids would leave their houses in the morning, maybe/maybe not go into school for a bit but they would play in the streets/woods/etc. and hide from their parents all day. Now kids don't have that freedom so if they aren't at school they are at home so more visible. They are also tracked more in the school environment so more likely to be observed as not there.

Secondly, I think we medicalise things that weren't previously medicalised. So worries, rejection of school etc. become clinical phenomena that are tracked and dsicussed rather than things that are dealt with informally and privately in the family. My brother (mid 50s) used to "bunk off" a lot and didn't get any GCSEs. He almost certainly has ADHD but at the time it was just "Oh he hates school" and people cared less about getting him there as school wasn't the be all and end all. He was able to become a tradesman without GCSE's via an apprenticeship. No chance of that now!

I also think schools have become worse over the past 15 years due to austerity. I taught under New Labour and there was a sense of investment and hope. Schools now are worse as they have been underfunded and poorly staffed, not to mention the changes to curriculum and high control behaviour policies. Why would families/kids buy into them in their current form? Not exactly inspiring or a community you want to be a part of. (Some are, of course.)

I'm 68 and I didn't hate school. There were times I wished I didn't have to go (double sports or maths for example) but that's just trivial. It wasn't real fear. I lived in a medium sized market town and I didn't know anyone who refused to go to school. Back then we had the "School Board Officer" who would visit the child's parents if they didn't show up at school, the threat of which induced visceral fear amongst children and parents alike.

I went to school in England in the 70s and early 80s. I quite liked school. Lessons were fairly boring, but I enjoyed certain subjects and it was a place to meet your mates and fantasise over boys who didn't know I existed.

Teachers seemed to be old and dry without much interest in their subjects, but it was dull rather than scary.

The school leaving age was increased to 11 in 1893, 12 in 1899, 14 in 1918, 15 in 1947 and 16 in 1972.

There would have been children back then who could not cope with school, but they had an escape route. Kids today do not - their only option is school refusal.

50's. I went through the three tier system. I loved lower school, although I was very scared of speaking in class. Most of my teachers were very kind and gentle and we did a lot around nature, music etc.

Middle school - I was bullied awfully for the last two years, but loved the teachers and the work and involved myself in every club going.

Upper school - again, bullying was the biggest issue. Disinterested teachers. Teachers sleeping with students. Heroin in the toilets. Pupils coming in drunk.

some days I was shaking at the thought of going in and by the time I was 15 I had an eating disorder, although my parents just brushed it off and told me off. Not going to school was not a possibility at any point, no matter how bad I was. I just lived my life outside school and managed to achieve enough for a decent university course.

I'm in my 50s and I didn't hate school, but I didn't love it either. I was bullied and was never part of the popular crowd or felt very liked that much at all. I was somewhat shy, insecure and socially awkward, and never really fit in with anyone (I was also overweight).

I hated senior school and I was scared to go. My school was a rough comprehensive and bully’s ruled the school. Unlike kids tv shows the bullies were not the popular kids. The popular kids got bullied, along side the geeks , weird people and the average kids.
I was a fairly average kid but was friends with some of the popular kids, everyday for three years I dreaded going in. You never knew what to expect, I was verbally abused, pushed, threatened, spat on. I only actually remember being hit once although it was threatened many times.

The girls and boys who did the bullying were awful nasty people who came from horrible families. A lot of them have ended up in prison including one for rape, he sexually assaulted me when we were 11, I told the teacher and she moved me, I don’t think she even told my parents. Another went to jail for murder. Several are prominent drug dealers in my home town. As gar as I’m aware not one of them left the village we grew up in.

I went to a very nice private school in Australia and had massive school refusal. Recently diagnosed as ND so suspect that played a big part, but my Mum wasn’t in a great place in my childhood and I liked being with her, so she let school attendance become optional. I wasn’t scared of school and had great support from teachers, but I just couldn’t go by the time I got to secondary school. Panic attacks in the car type thing. It was awful.

I’m in my mid sixties and I hated my secondary school with a passion. I left the day I took my last O Level paper. It was nothing to do with the school itself but I was very rebellious and just wanted to be working and earning money. I was at a very high achieving grammar school and I was one of only two who left at the end of what is now the equivalent of year 11 and it was made very clear that I was a disgrace not to stay on into the sixth form. But I got a brilliant education and, my daughter went to the same school many years later.

I'm mid 60s and I loved school. I went to an all girls' grammar and had a fairly old fashioned classical education, but it was a lovely school with fantastic teachers. I was very, very lucky.
However, I left school at 18 very naive. I certainly wasn't streetwise.

Early 40s. We had a 3 tier system, I enjoyed school until high school (age 13). I didn’t hate it after that and neither was I too scared to go but I didn’t enjoy it. The work was ok but I struggled a bit socially with only a very small group of friends. I don’t look back on it badly though.

I'm in my 50's and went to school in the US. I hated it, mainly because it was so deathly boring. Topics which could have been interesting were done in a dull way. Teachers tried to ensure that no one was left behind, with the result that kids who already understood the material had to sit and listen to it over and over. I remember the boredom as a physical weight on my shoulders. The days dragged by.

Some teachers would let us read in class if we'd finished our work, or get on with work for another subject. Other teachers demanded we just sit and read the same chapter of the textbook repeatedly.

High school was rather unpleasant socially, with lots of low-level bullying, but I "only" disliked that aspect of it rather than hating it.

By contrast, university was everything I'd dreamed of and more.

While I think the content and methods at my schools could have been better, I believe there's a fundamental challenge with compulsory education in a group learning environment. The teachers were so busy doing crowd control that they didn't have much scope to engage us in meaningful learning.

I home educated my kids, so they could follow their interests. From the child's point of view it's more efficient. They can learn so much faster one-to-one that they have time to read, do hobbies, and play with friends. But (especially these days) it's hard for parents to make ends meet financially without the free childcare which state school provides alongside an education.

I've just turned 60. I loved primary school and was an A* pupil. Secondary was a nightmare for the entire five years due to bullying that the teachers ignored and victim-blamed me for not standing up to them! The worst bullies were popular with the teachers for being sporty or into drama, so the teachers took their side rather than mine! I ended up leaving after 5 years with no qualifications at all. It wasn't just verbal name calling, it was theft and damage of property (coat and bags etc), physical assault, etc. I started truanting after 2 or 3 years and barely went at all in the 4th and 5th year - if I did go in, I'd go to some lessons, but hide for others where the worse bullies were sat next to me or we were put into small groups. Once I finally left, I did a mix of self study and evening classes to get O levels and then A levels and then onto qualifying as a chartered accountant. My "crap comp" was an absolute nightmare.

In my 40s, autistic - I generally loved "school", as in a place to go and be taught interesting new things all day, but I wasn't that keen on "school", as in a place full of other children who mucked about in said lessons and often didn't really like me. This got gradually worse from reception to year 11, then much better in sixth form when the people I liked least all left. I had no desire to not attend, though, because attending was a legal requirement.
In secondary there were other 90s school refusers, though - several "truants" who mostly attended but sometimes went off into town instead, and one girl who became a running joke as she was called out on the register every lesson but no-one had seen her for months.