DS turned 4 in mid August last year, then a few weeks later started school. At the time I knew he wasn’t ready, he’d only just turned 4 and is also very young for his age. However, he’d been struggling with nursery and there were tears and screaming on drop off every day, so the hope was he would enjoy school more and feel “grown up” going to school with his big brother. I was vaguely aware that delaying his start was an option, but given how upset he was at going to nursery we just went ahead with the normal school admission for his age.
In hindsight I would 100% have kept him back and applied for a reception start for this September instead. But given he’s already started we have a bit of a tough decision to make, and school are supportive either way. He can either continue with his current cohort and move up to Y1 in September, or he can “restart” school in Reception. There’s no issue of him having to skip a year at secondary, he would be able to continue through school with the new cohort.
DS has struggled in school, drop off isn’t as bad as nursery was if my DH takes him, but if I take him he clutches onto me and gets very upset when I leave. He’s really struggling with his emotional regulation, and they say he gets extremely upset at little things regularly (which he does at home also, so it’s not just a school thing). We’re awaiting appointments for SLT (he has a lisp), OT (he doesn’t have a good pencil grip, can’t use scissors etc), and a hearing test (constantly not responding to us/ asking “what did you say?”)
He knows his phonics sounds, so not concerned there, however he’s struggling to blend words. He’s refused up til now to do any reading at home with me, and is only just starting to want to, but again the blending isn’t there yet. He can just about write legible words at school (won’t do this at home), but only with one to one assistance. His maths is fine, no concerns there, however he will regularly refuse to do things for the teachers. So I know he can count to 20, but he won’t do it for them. His teachers says he’s not the only one at this level, so there would be a group of them needing additional help in Y1.
He’s only spoken about one child that he likes to play with, although school says he does play with others, but that he regularly prefers to play on his own. At home he’s constantly playing with his younger sister (age 3), and for the majority of the time they play beautifully together, so I’m concerned that he hasn’t made good friendships in his class. When I ask who he plays with at school he just says no one and that they annoy him.
Last week we had decided that he should remain with his current class and move up in September, I was concerned about the affect keeping him back might have on his mental health; would he feel he was being punished in some way, that he’d failed, wondering why he was with the “babies” or something along those lines. However, yesterday he went back to school after the Easter break, there were no tears, he was happy to go in, but I just started picturing him in Y1 and struggling to see how he’d thrive there. There would only be a teacher and a TA and I’ve visions of him sitting there not understanding what he was supposed to do, feeling lost and behind, and what affect would that have on his mental health and his self esteem.
Long post! But any advice welcome 🙏