11 plus fears

[curiousmind14]

Hi all. Looking for some support as 11 plus results are only a week or so away in our area. My daughter brought the idea of sitting the test to us. I never shared my concerns with my daughter, or rather my opinion that the Grammar system is no longer catering to bright but underprivileged children as it arguably used to. Anyhow, I put my values to one side and agreed to support her with a tutor because she asked for several months (toward the end of year 4) to give it a go. She is bright so I had confidence she’d have a good shot at passing. As Dad and I are both graduates in related academic subjects, we were also able to support with some elements of the prep. She started mocks tests in April of this year: narrowly missing the pass mark until the summer, where she was scoring a good few marks above. The day of the test she became upset in the VR section; 2 sections came up she’d never seen before (none of her friends had either). I’m worried this has derailed her, but rationally I know we can’t do anything about that now. VR was her strength from the beginning. All of her friendship group have sat the test, and what’s worrying me the most is that she’ll be devastated if she doesn’t pass. Her alternative is a local school that none of her friends are applying for, pass or fail. I do feel immensely proud she’s chosen that herself, despite her friends being important to her: she does feel scared at the prospect of going alone if it comes to that. I feel angry regarding the whole process, particularly the pressure on 10 year olds. How do I support her through this if it doesn’t go her way? In truth I do think she’ll be great at the alternative, she’s very sociable and I’m confident she’d make new friends in time…but I don’t want my daughter to feel a failure at the age of 10. Many thanks

So you have ethical concerns about the grammar system because it doesn't work for the disadvantaged children it proports to help. Despite this you employed all the resources available to you - your and her father's educational advantage as well as financial resources to fund years of tutoring. Even so, your daughter found the test difficult and may not pass, now you're venting at the unfairness of the system, really?

It's unfair precisely because of people like you OP. Best of luck to your daughter, but there are other valuable lessons to be learnt here about fairness regardless of her outcome. I'll save my sympathy for the underprivileged kids who, given the opportunity could have breezed through with no tuition whatsoever. These are the kids who end up bored, disengaged and written off because of sharp elbows manipulating the system to their own advantage at every level of society. We're all culpable so before blaming the system we should examine our own actions.

I think I was quite clear from my original post that I went against my values in terms of importing privileges to support our daughter, which I don’t expect any sympathy for. She was steadfast in that she wanted to try for this (for several months) prior to us employing tuition. Perhaps we could have taught her ourselves. Fair point. But we felt preserving our relationship as parents was important. This has been mentioned in many 11 plus threads, but our tutor had distinct advantages in employing strategies (timing, teaching technique etc) that we don’t have. Despite being bright, we’re not teachers and have no prior knowledge of 11 plus. But yes, if she found a topic difficult, we had the advantage of having good core maths skills, for example, to at least offer some assistance. Not looking for sympathy in the slightest, although I can appreciate my post may come across as somewhat contradictory. I’ve perpetuated a system I have an issue with. I hold my hands up clear and agree to that.

@Mumofgirls12341 best of luck to you. I don’t know anyone who wasn’t tutored in our area (lots took the test). Many other 11 plus threads suggest this can be done successfully, but perhaps it depends on the child and the relationship. We did two hours of tutoring per week from October of year 5 (holiday breaks). From the May of year 5, we did one mock exam at a local centre each month. These were very helpful for us as it brought up areas we could work on and helped with timing and getting used to an exam. Over the summer prior, we did about 3 days (2 hours each session) a week (usually a GL assessment at home). I know many who tutored earlier and some who started later but did, say, a ten minute test most days. But we found having good breaks between studying worked best. I know it may sound cliche, but praising growth along the way was key. The NVR and VR my DD picked up really well. Maths way beyond the curriculum was more tricky , but we saw her confidence grow when it started to click. That said our LA were clear that they wouldn’t be tested on Maths beyond year 5. The mocks covered topics from year 6 and 7. In the actual test (according to DD), they weren’t tested beyond 5. Hope this helps :)

@curiousmind14 I'm so pleased for you! All that worrying over 'nothing' in the end! Ignore that other poster, she's been popping on here on and off to slag us all off.

It's a bloody awful system, but the end of the day, if this system operates in your area and you think a grammar is better than the alternative then you get on with it.

We passed three grammar schools that we are in catchment for, so we are over the moon.

@yoshiblue that’s fantastic news! Glad to hear it :) Do you and DD have a preference?

@curiousmind14 we are lucky to be a 10 min walk from one, so he’s going there with a few classmates

I'm confused with all the talk of 'pass marks.' final places/offers are not out yet. We can only ever know a rough guess on last year's marks. I would air caution telling a child they have passed and have a place as it is far more Competitive this year. To give context our daughter has scored 7 marks about the acceptance mark for last year, but is 84 places lower on the rankings....

@Jellyfish1981 sounds like your area ranks, not all areas do.

In Trafford, you only have to make the pass mark, and if you're in a priority postcode, it's pretty much guaranteed.

In Bucks there is a pass mark, it's 121 and has been for donkey's years.

If you get it, you will get a place at a grammar school (although not necessarily your first choice), so @Jellyfish1981 in this instance it is absolutely fine to tell your DC that they have passed and that they have a place.