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Son missed out on award

30 replies

Gingerbreadcookiesandcream · 24/07/2024 18:26

I'll try to keep this brief. Basically my 10yo son missed out on a special yr5 award at the end of the year (all children in the class apply for it) but despite doing the tasks required for it such as charity work etc, he wasn't given it due to underlying behaviour. I feel disappointed for him as he was expecting this year it. He has suspected ADHD but a Cahms referral got nowhere. My question is, has anybody managed to positively transform their child's behaviour? I'm a teacher myself and I know I need to establish a positive relationship with the teachers at the start of the year, frequent communication etc. However, does anyone have strategies for at home that helped? My DH and I try to be good parents, role modelling good behaviour, consequences where necessary i.e. removal of internet but his behaviour can be a big challenge. Homework is a nightmare. Reading is also a nightmare because he refuses.

Any tips from a parenting view would be appreciated. I do worry about him and secondary school.

OP posts:
Brendabigbaps · 26/07/2024 08:08

Gingerbreadcookiesandcream · 25/07/2024 09:08

Yes it was an award that the whole class could apply for and many got it. He has now missed out on it two years in a row (there are three awards). I asked for feedback on what he needed to do in order to get one in his last year as he was disappointed.

Thanks for your suggestions. Lots of useful food for thought! I will get some books on ADHD as a starter.

Exercise does sound like a good strategy as well.

Depending on his age -
How to not murder your adhd child or How not to damage your adhd adolescent.
both by Sarah templeton.
brilliant books
there’s also a teachers version which you could possibly benefit from too!

Gingerbreadcookiesandcream · 26/07/2024 09:31

Brilliant thank you! I will most certainly check out those books (and the teacher version too)... and I'll enlist my husband on this task as well. Perhaps we can read them together. Looks like a busy summer reading

OP posts:
Kingsleadhat · 26/07/2024 09:38

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 25/07/2024 05:22

Go private if necessary but get a proper Ed Psych assessment.

This is great advice. We had our son privately ed psyched and it was much more thorough than the standard one. It uncovered dyslexia and ADHD , and a more realistic reading age among other things . It was expensive but worth it

Gingerbreadcookiesandcream · 26/07/2024 10:47

Thanks we've done a dyslexia screening and it revealed no dyslexia which surprised me. We haven't had one for ADHD as CAHMS wouldn't see him as he was presenting with different symptoms at home (more high functioning autism and PDA) whereas at school he showed ADHD so very frustratingly nothing came out of that as I know children can mask symptoms at school.

OP posts:
Kingsleadhat · 26/07/2024 10:53

Gingerbreadcookiesandcream · 26/07/2024 10:47

Thanks we've done a dyslexia screening and it revealed no dyslexia which surprised me. We haven't had one for ADHD as CAHMS wouldn't see him as he was presenting with different symptoms at home (more high functioning autism and PDA) whereas at school he showed ADHD so very frustratingly nothing came out of that as I know children can mask symptoms at school.

I spent years being told by CAMHS what my children (adopted, trauma and complex needs) didn't qualify for any help whatsoever. It's why we did the private ed psych report in the end, to make a case to get him out of the mainstream school where he was spectacularly failing and into an SEN school. Good luck x

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