Punishment in school

[KatusM]

My child is attending year 2 in England. Yesterday he lost his break because we have not signed his reading record 5 times. He was not able to go out to the garden and was told if he did not tell me to sign his book he would lose his break again.

He is in a required curriculum level so this was not a boost club. This was a punishment because we did not sign his book. He read almost every day. He has no issue with reading. He completed his year 2 spelling target tests. So I believe he is on the right path.

I sent a very upset email to the school, of course they ignored me. I assume they will try to catch me in the school pick up and tell me a story why this is important.

Today morning my child had a breakdown about this and cried because if I did not sign his book he would lose his break again.

I am really considering taking this further because they do the same with numbots. If a child does not manage to complete 5 mins a week they lose their break.

Who shall I go to? Apparently other parents already put concern into the school but they ignore it.

Am I the one who overthinks this?

But if the book isn't signed, is missing an entire 30min break time (probably their lunch break play) a suitable response? Is that going to encourage them to get their book signed? Help them be ready to learn for the rest of the day? Will they even make the connection between missing break and signing the book?

OP I would still be questioning the school policy. Children need time to reset during their day and yes while it doesn't take long to sign the book, the action and response here don't match up IMO and certainly that length of missed break is totally inappropriate for a 7yo.

This

It is harsh but those are the rules. Signed each day or missed break. For all they know he didn’t do the reading each day! Is it fair to get a speeding fine when you go just 1/2 miles over fair? Many might think not but those are the rules. There can’t always be negotiations. Child will make sure he gets a signature in future (he is aware he needs one) and mum/dad will be less forgetful.

Why should I stop commenting just because you want me to? Are you used to always getting your way?

You punished your son when you let him down. Do better and move on.

I do understand your point of view. And I do understand what you are saying and yes they made me very aware that I need to sign the book. But now we will sign either way we read and even if we are not.

I am upset because of the extent of the punishment. For something he did not do.

I am the one who picks him up every day at the gate. They have known me for 8 years now. They can tell me: look, can you be sure you sign the book we noticed you forgot. I am only human. I missed last week. They know we read daily as I did with the older one every day in the past 7 years.

Our school is trying to maintain a very high rating. Hence they decided even the parents went against the idea of a year 2 SAT they will do it. I assume they push the kids even further than it was needed. That is why the punishment is very harsh.

“Let him down”? It was a simple admin mistake! And you said the OP was overreacting…

You know this is where you are wrong. Even in the speeding fines allow you 1 miles per hour.

The problem is still they did not inform me they punished my child for a mistake I made.

Your comparison with speeding fines doesn't match up here - the rules for driving are clearly defined and you are told / taught /tested on them in advance before driving a car. You are aware of that being the rule and the reason for it. A fine for risking safety of others is appropriate and fair here, no? Others benefit by you following the rules.

Can the same be said for the missing break in this scenario? Is missing break actually in the rules? Where does it say? That's my point. If it is just the teacher that has decided the rule and told it to the child then that's not ok. If it is in the school policy, I'd be challenging the rule. Who does missing 30mins benefit? Certainly not the child, nor the teacher (no teacher wants to supervise children during their own lunch break) and no4 the parents nor other peers.

Well thank you for your very helpful comments. I see you shining through everything you touch in your life. I appreciate your time spent commenting on my tread. And I really hope you get a solution for anything that is bothering you. I really do hope you are OK.

The school is nuts. We do numbots and reading. If none is done, no one says anything, some weeks that happens. My child self perpetuates reading and maths because of wanting to do it rather than fearing punishment, they get occasional rewards instead.

Try to take it as a positive. You obviously care so try to ensure your child gets something good out of it. Its 30mins of his time in the grand scheme of things and it wont have done him any harm.

Your school has given you the opportunity to work as a team which imo is half the message this punishment is about. If you undermine it then the message is lost. Embrace it and there might be times in the future where you will appreciate your son having a good awareness of actions and consequences. This one is trivial, when he is older it might not be quite so trivial.

Those saying just sign his book are completely missing the point. A 7 year old has been punished for something they did not do and had no control over.
the whole signing of reading records is absolutely meaningless. Some children will be forced by their parent to read, some will not and the reading record will still be signed anyway.

A parent not signing a reading record isn’t ‘letting him down’ or ‘punishing him’. get a grip!

@Tessasanderson there might be times in the future where you will appreciate your son having a good awareness of actions and consequences. Only if the consequence matches the action!

Definitely challenge this OP, primary school children shouldn't lose their playtime for any reason, but especially not for one that is out of their control.

It's totally inappropriate for a school to punish a child because of something their parent has not done! Apart from anything else, there are a lot of children with chaotic, neglectful or dysfunctional home lives whose parents simply won'tdo things like this. How appalling if a 7 year-old were constantly punished in that situation. I gave up signing my dc's primary school book log pretty early on, as the books were not the right level and were putting my children off reading. I'm a teacher btw.

So glad our school did away with the pointless reading records years ago. Always the same children whose parents didn’t sign it/ didn’t bring it in and always the same children who did have it singed each week (the ones who usually were much more capable anyway). I agree he shouldn’t have lost his break time for a mistake you made and was out of his control. They definitely need to rethink it!

It makes me wonder whether OP's school is in a middle class area with lots of SAHMs. (Rather than a deprived area with lot of neglect or with families where two parents are working full time and trying to juggle everything)

I had to google what you mean by SAHMs. Our primary school in the top 3% of the country according the school performance website. I believe only less than 15% off the admission parents classify as SAHMs. However I believe this should be not any kind of indicator of the extant of the punishment why I am upset.

It's just that well off, involved families who can afford for one parent not to work are the type more likely to be able to devote their time to school things without things getting in the way. So the school may be more used to that and not have as much experience of dysfunctional families or those of us who are simply trying to juggle everything to survive and more likely to forget something one day.

Really ? You have missed five times ?

dude sign the book and grow up 🙄

I would apologise to my kid for being an arse as well

Those saying just sign his book are completely missing the point

Or have older kids and many years of dealing with schools.

If Op wants to take if further she can first make an appointment with the teacher and see what they say and if not happy try the head - she may be lucky and get some adjustments/answers or they may double down and get more awkward with her going forward.

Honestly easiest thing to do is reassure the child - speak to teacher and next year check what that teacher's policy is at start of the year and chalk it up to experience. If missing breaks becomes a regular thing for whatever reason then it's worth taking it up with the school as a one off event that OP can avoid going forward seems an overreaction.

I’d be tempted to sign it for everyday until
the end of the school year now.

I would either hand the book into school and tell them that I wanted nothing more to do with it, or sign every single page from now to the end of term.

Utterly ridiculous and pointless exercise.

OP, please try to ignore the PP's who don't even rad your post properly.
They are making inappropriate comments based on only half reading what you said.

It's too many years since my child was of school age, let alone 7 years of age, so obviously schools policies have evolved.

Yes I agree what ever should be signed, you should sign.
Tho it feels pointless if you can sign without even performing the exercise.

Your 7 year of is NOT responsible for reminding you to sign, because in some households, such a reminder from a child could be treated as the child being cheeky to the parent, and at risk of being punished.

There seem to me, an awful lot of scenarios where something fails to get signed, and I can't see a case where the child (especially one so young) should receive a punishment such as your child received.

It feels as tho if that action was to carry on through life, a person could go to prison because the chap down the road broke the law...

Even if it is a punitive offence, for your child to lose a whole 30 minute break, is way over the top.

If as others have said, he acted inappropriately or abusively, then of course an appropriate punishment is due.

I've not a clue how you go about amending this situation, but I'm just giving you my opinion... and I agree the child should NOT receive punishment for the forgetfulness of the parent.

You can in future, (now that you know) set an alarm up to sign whatever, or you could sign in advance.

It's almost laughable.

I can really see why you're aggrieved.

I also see that the school may be overstretched, but that's hardly your child's fault either.

I feel pretty upset for you.

Good luck going forward.