WHICH IS BETTER? - Private primary school vs private secondary school.

[Asher09]

DH and I are going back and forth about what schools to send our DD to and are considering some private options too.
We could only afford one or the other and neither of us have had any exposure so we don't know which would be more beneficial - if any.

Our options are -

1. Send DD to a private primary school, which might set her up better for a grammer school or a good public school?
   (They're often cheaper? People say the younger years are most crucial?)

2. Send DD to a public primary school and invest in tuition and loads of extra curricula activites and then see if she gets into a grammar school or private secondary?
   (Secondary schools are usually listed on a CV, DD will get more support from the school as she grows up? Lifelong friends etc? )

Anyone on here studied at private school or send their kids? ...What did you choose and why?

Anyone sent their kids to public schools? Please share some tips on how you helped excel your child in confidence and education.

The other advantage to doing private secondary after state primary is that you can spend the primary years putting as much as possible into savings which means its a lot more affordable to meet fees in y7-13 as you can draw down half from savings and the other half from income.

Secondary is a better investment, but I'd wait and see how they're getting on as they go through primary. A motivated child will do well anywhere, and you can spend on your money on other things like fun holidays and trips that will enhance their world view. Education isn't just in school. and secondary schools are not listed in CVs if you've been to university, that's hilarious you think that. Work experience will get someone far further in life than the name of their school.

If you have a good state primary nearby, I would go with that. Your dd will be fine and you can supplement with sport activities/music/art outside, depending on what she wants to do. We decided to do state primary and private secondary with our dc. Our first one just started at a top academically secondary school and is thriving. She loves it. The pace is faster, but that is what she needs. The last 2 years of primary she was starting to get bored. And now she can be stretched accordingly. And the good thing is, private secondaries will make sure to stretch you if needed....where as her state primary just sat her with other dc that needed extra help so she could help them. The younger years we focused more on playing, being in the park etc. But now that she is older and has outgrown playing in the park, she can focus on sports and academics.

We have had dd in both state and private primaries, and see a massive difference between the two we experienced, so I don’t think it is really fair to say it makes no difference in primary. It is all well and good to say ‘a bright / motivated child will do well anywhere’ but I think some primaries do a better job of laying the foundation for education than others. I’m not talking about content of the education so much as the experience of education- learning how to learn, developing a positive relationship with school and excitement around learning, cultivating a sense of respect towards education, etc.

When we have new children join our indie school from state it isn’t generally the learning that they have trouble with so much as the different behavioural expectations- there is very little discipline, but there are higher expectations in terms of respect, diligence, kindness, etc. and less tolerance of acting up during lessons. I think when kids do have persistently poor experiences at school early on it can be very difficult to change that mindset later on.

obviously not all private primaries are worthwhile, not all state primaries are as under resourced as ours were, and depending on your local options and child’s personality your local state primary might be the best fit.

You’ve articulated that brilliantly, @Labraradabrador.

Private secondary every time, if there is money for any private education at all.

Peers become more important than parents at this age. If you can get them into an environment with great peers, that’s half the battle won. Private school can be one way to do this.

I think the answer will depend on your circumstances and what schools you have available to you. You want to make sure they'll have a positive relationship with education and learning in general right from the beginning. If you have excellent caring state primary schools around that can deliver that, and more importantly if you can get your child into one, great. If not, I'd look at private primaries. Getting this right, I think, is the most important thing. If they have a terrible start and only learn to resent learning or are left to rot away, private secondary will not be of much benefit later on. At least the academic private secondaries won't be. There are also many rubbish non-academic private secondaries.

If you live in a grammar school area, you may find that grammar as a secondary might be a better option than a private secondary. Getting into a grammar school might be easier from a good private prep school (primary).

And since some here mention that private secondary is a better investment, with inflation, fee increases, VAT and extras it will cost you roughly £400k over 7 years of private secondary education. Saving that 400k, if things work out, will likely be an even better investment.

This certainly is the prevailing opinion in the private prep primary where my daughter goes. And I'm talking about very affluent, financially savvy parents who can afford private secondary school fees.

We have gone for state primary and will (hopefully) do private secondary on the basis that:

1. we have time to invest and have been saving for secondary fees once my eldest started reception

2. our catchment secondary is mediocre at best but the private secondary schools are some of the best the country.

i think in infants there is actually very little difference between a prep and state primary but the differences are becoming more apparent at junior age. While our school is good for sport, the music offering is rubbish. I’m also increasingly aware of behavioural issues and disruption. I had a moment of considering moving my eldest for y3 but didn’t. I still think for us a less financially pressured existence now is more worth it than the benefits of private over state. However, it would be naive to pretend there isn’t a difference in the offering especially now that so many primaries are struggling financially.

I think private secondary will have more impact because this is when they do their GCSEs and A-levels.
Behaviour in some state secondary schools can be poor so even if your child is very motivated they will still have to deal with quite a lot of disruption in lessons. I moved my son from a state secondary to a private secondary in Year 9, and he says there is a big difference in behaviour and attitude to learning. He says he wishes he had gone to a private school earlier.
However, if I had a state grammar school near me I would have chosen this option as it is free-although whether your child gets in depends on their academic ability.

I think it depends a lot on what your options are for primary and secondary. What are your local state schools like? We have a great village primary school but are not keen on our state options for secondary, so we chose to go state for primary and independent for secondary.

DH went to private school for primary and got into grammar for secondary. It worked out really well as it meant he got a top notch education the whole way through, but I think it’s a risky strategy if you can’t afford do carry on paying for private school if the child doesn’t get into grammar school.

OP I live in a city where state primary and private secondary is common-ish. We never intended to go private; local primary is well thought of and secondary is not great but lots of kids do fine. However we're moving DS to private school this year (age 10-P6 in Scotland) and he'll stay there through high school. DD is staying in the state primary and may well go to the state secondary too. We'll decide closer to the time. DS is having a few issues, has dyslexia etc.
If you have a good primary school I'd suggest she starts there. Then you can develop your thinking as time goes on. If you start at private then tbh it's likely you'll stay!