Is there stigma towards scholarship kids

[workingclassgirl]

Just wondering what it's like at your old school or your children's school if it's independent. Is it obvious which kids are there on scholarship or bursary and do other kids make fun of them? And what about from the parents side, do they treat or see the scholarship kids' parents differently?

At DD's school the girls with scholarships get badges which they can wear on their blazers. Different badges for different scholarships (academic, sports, music, etc). They are a flex to show off that you have a talent. DD has 2 and yes I am proud 😊.

Scholarships are awarded on ability and provide a relatively small discount on fees, as previous posters have mentioned. Bursaries can be a bigger discount and are awarded according to the financial position of the parents, and nobody normally knows who has one and who doesn't.

DD's school has what they call "110% bursaries" - the bursary is actually more than the fee amount, so that pupils don't need to worry about uniform and school trip costs etc. But schools vary a lot in what they can or will offer. Many schools just don't have enough money to support big bursaries.

I’m sure all schools are different, but I think my sons’ school has only had one “all year” trip, at the start of year 7. It was an overnight at PGL and was a getting to know each other trip, hence the “all year” thing. Other trips have been interest dependent (history, language etc) with limited spaces, so no way anyone would know if kids weren’t going for money reasons.

And there’s still differences between non-bursaried boys - neither of mine have bursaries but some boys are wealthier (bigger house, latest iPhones etc) than others, and it isn’t a thing.

Obviously premier league posho schools have the widest range of pupils in terms of financial background!

And their 100% bursaries have the highest value. (Around £250k in total at ‘our’ Public school now.) No stigma; the parents struggling to pay full fees are rather envious of those on bursaries. Scholarships are only for a nominal amount and those who don’t need the financial award are encouraged to rescind it.

The only time I think it's a bit cruel is where full boarding schools (as in don't have private day students) offer full bursaries to a set number of local charity cases who don't board. My friend taught at a school like that and said the bursary students often dropped out because they just didn't fit, they weren't there in the evenings or after midday on Saturday nor did they go on the numerous very expensive trips abroad. These kids were heavily screened to be "very deserving" so the boarders all wanted to know why they got the charity bursaries.

I work in a prep school. I don’t know who has a bursary, but as they move on to Year 9, we know who gets scholarships from their new schools.

Yes … At our prep, the boys in the scholarship set (ie top set, aiming for public school scholarships) were obviously the most academically capable. No amount of parental wealth could get a boy into that set if he simply wasn’t clever enough.

The only scholarship boy I have known well was FIL so this was many years ago and I really hope times have changed. He won a scholarship to Charterhouse and was a boarder. It was at this time his stammer started, he was a lad from a council house. He was an obnoxious person but I think he was such a fish out of water at that school it was hard for him. He ended up at Oxford and was financial director of a multinational firm so really made it career wise. He had an awful habit of belittling people and was a bully. Maybe it was just his personality but I think if he had stayed at the local grammar it would have been better.

Yes, times have changed.

Private schools don't change someone's character; a nasty bully will stay that way irrespective of their education. You want to find the reason for a bully, it will be in their home.

I went to an independent school on a scholarship back in the day when 40% scholarships were a thing! I had a scholars' tie (as it was in the uniform list) and was worried I'd be singled out but I don't think I ever actually wore it and as it turned out loads of kids were on scholarships and assisted places. I had as many friends who were from single parent families who lived in flats as friends who were one of 5 or more siblings at the school and lived in mansions. The vast, vast majority were kind, polite, well-behaved kids. Independent school is an unmissable opportunity for your child so please don't worry about the particulars and do everything you can to send them - they'll be fine.

Don't kid yourself, they know.

My sister went to quite a prestigious private school on a bursary which massively reduced the fees y parents paid . Although on the surface all the students got on and ofcourse she had the same access to all the facilities, it was obvious we were not as wealthy as the other families .

From the types of cars , to the types of gadgets , clothes , the expensive school trips , the sports kits , the holidays , the hobbies . These things were less of an issue in say year 7/8 and become more obvious to the student and their friends from year 9 to 6th form .

As a result I decided to attend my local state school but now in hindsight I wish I had put up with a little bit of discomfort for the far better academic, social and sporting opportunities available at the private school .

Given the opportunity now for my kids , I would take it .

You obviously know more than those of us posters telling you that at our schools which included public school no one knews unless the student tells someone. Do you think the school sends out a list of bursary students covertly so everyone can laugh at them? and before you start not everyone goes on
expensive school trips, they are not mandatory and many don't go whether on bursary or not. Not everyone has a house in the country infact in dc's mixed friendship group none did. they were a mix of home and international students from professional families so no boats, yachts, helicopters and the other stereotypes you read about here. Students went on nice holidays but that's not what they discussed when they returned to school and to be honest even when a bursary student had told someone they were on bursary their mates weren't remotely interested beyond, 'oh, that's nice'. The Independent school buzz is more about what talent you have i.e sport, drama, music, academics, art.

Don't kid yourself, they know

As a teacher in a private school, I don't have a clue who are on bursaries.

As a parent of two kids in a private school, I also have no idea (apart from the staff discount on fees, as those parents are my colleagues!)

They really really don't know.

My DC's best friend was on a full bursary. Nobody cared. Seriously.

... actually that's not quite true ... some comments would be made but only by the student whose family were multimillionaires and looked down at EVERYONE else as lesser mortals. Then we were all considered subhuman!

Bollocks

I never had a nasty word from a parent, and only one unpleasant teacher who thought she was super amusing to mock people who lived in small houses on estates. BUT The whole world is fucking unfair if you are a teen, add significant financial disparity and you are just fuelling that fire. I think there can be really good reasons that outweighs the inevitable contribution to teen angst but make sure it's a really good school - my very expensive education (thanks 1990s tax payers!) was rubbish in some aspects, some of the teaching was really poor and the pastoral care was non-existent. I definitely do not earn more than if I had gone to a state school. Some kids in the same position I know absolutely thrived, so it really suits some, but if they are already lacking confidence, I wouldn't do it.