Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Moving from Uk to India- potential education struggles!!!!

66 replies

mesha123 · 13/02/2024 23:29

Hi,

Hubby wants to relocate to India wanting to look after his parents.

Dd is 9 years old and is in year 5.

We enquired for schools in India and based on age they suggested start there In year 4. So she will be behind by nearly 2 years. There will be a lot of struggle especially relating to learning new local languages as they are compulsory since year 1 there. Dd doesn't know any local languages. Plus there will be regular tests and quarterly exams. And in Indian education system if a child fails in the exam they repeat a whole academic year.

What other struggles will a child go through apart from cultural differences.

Does Anyone had a similar experience they could share?

How can I prepare her to ease with the transition.

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
Combusting · 14/02/2024 12:21

mesha123 · 13/02/2024 23:29

Hi,

Hubby wants to relocate to India wanting to look after his parents.

Dd is 9 years old and is in year 5.

We enquired for schools in India and based on age they suggested start there In year 4. So she will be behind by nearly 2 years. There will be a lot of struggle especially relating to learning new local languages as they are compulsory since year 1 there. Dd doesn't know any local languages. Plus there will be regular tests and quarterly exams. And in Indian education system if a child fails in the exam they repeat a whole academic year.

What other struggles will a child go through apart from cultural differences.

Does Anyone had a similar experience they could share?

How can I prepare her to ease with the transition.

Thanks for reading

As an Indian person, born and bred - living in the UK for close to 2 decades now - can I just say - PLEASE rethink? I am an only child of aging parents - nothing in the world would make me relocate there, despite my heart having a pull to my parents, because I will not raise my children where I was raised. Not my daughter especially, and especially if she has grown to the age of 9 to be used to being here in the UK and living her life. V sorry for this somewhat intense (!) personal reaction to your preidcament!

saltysquid · 15/02/2024 11:44

I don’t think re-locating itself is a problem, especially as your child is young.
Schools in India now are very different to 30 years ago. There is a huge choice, some that give a lot of homework, some that don’t etc. You just need to find one that’s a right fit for your child. Obviously there will be lots of choice in big cities like Delhi, Mumai etc, not sure about where you are though.
Again there are schools in India that have french as a second language. There are international schools that do IB/international gcses or A-levels.
If there is no choice and she has to do hindi, I would just get her a tutor. She is going to be educated in english, so the tutor can get her up to speed with hindi(which i personally think is very useful to know esp if you live in north india). If she was older it would be a lot more complicated, but lots of people go back and are very happy.

saltysquid · 15/02/2024 11:52

As to how your child will adjust, again it depends on your family situation. If you have lots of money you can live a very nice life there with help/clubs/travel/eating out. Again this applies to the big cities. There will be less of an adjustment if your child is going to a well known delhi school(the majority in these end up at american universities and lead very privileged lives) for example compared to a small town local school. Don’t know much about gujarat at all so can’t really comment on that region.

SheilaFentiman · 15/02/2024 11:59

Has your DH thought about tax issues if he lives in India but continues to work in the Uk? What about funding these trips home for work every few weeks?

SkaneTos · 15/02/2024 13:42

Your husband will be busy!
He will

  1. work
  2. travel back and forth
  3. look after his parents

Lots of good advice in this thread.
I wish you good luck with the move!!

Sodabubbles · 15/02/2024 13:47

i don’t understand why you have to move there if your husband will still be working in the uk?!

this idea has no sense at all other than if he expects you to provide full time care for his mum.

if he is willing to fly back and forth anyway I don’t see why he can’t just do that to visit her more regularly

Cameraclick · 15/02/2024 13:53

So your husband will stay in the uk but you and your daughter have to live in India? And you’re ok with that?

if it were me I would be putting my daughter first. And absolutely not move her to a new country where she doesn’t know the language and will be 2 years behind in school when she gets there

Sophist · 15/02/2024 13:59

I would suggests his parents come to the UK on an adult dependent relative visa. Don’t turn your DD’s life upside down.

SheilaFentiman · 15/02/2024 13:59

Are you currently home schooling, OP?

Combusting · 15/02/2024 16:08

WHAT? Your DH will remain in the UK and you and your UK raised DD will randomly go and live in India?

Upthread as an Indian woman born and bread I had said fuck no to the idea as i originally understood it (that you were ALL relocating) and i said fuck no.

But this? Christ - what are you doing giving this a minute of your attention?!

Jellybean23 · 15/02/2024 16:23

It's highly likely that YOU will do the caring, not your husband, regardless of what he tells you now. I wouldn't even contemplate the move.

User19798 · 15/02/2024 16:26

This would be a hard no from me. You are moving to India and he will be working away, so you will be parenting, caring for his parents and managing the household. Think about it OP.

Squirrelsnut · 15/02/2024 16:30

Please don't, OP. I can see this going very badly very swiftly.

VestPantsandSocks · 15/02/2024 16:33

This is a very common issue whereby the parents are elderly/ill and the son is abroad.

There is no need for your family to move.
It would be better if you all remained here and utilised your husbands earning power as earning in pounds and spending in rupees goes a long way.

Your husband can organise specialist help to attend eg carers, physio and have webcam set up so he can monitor them remotely.
You do need a trustworthy person on site though, who can co-ordinate/supervise everything and who you can liaise with.

The other option is to bring them here.

Common sense and practicality are required not emotion.

clpsmum · 15/02/2024 16:50

I wouldn't be moving to a country that has such awful rights for women especially with a DD tbh

Kokeshi123 · 16/02/2024 01:18

I'm pretty sure it's hard to bring elderly parents from other countries to the UK these days, and frankly, I think it's pretty unethical to bring people here to receive elder care when they have never paid taxes into the system; in most countries this would be a flat "no" from the immigration authorities if you tried to do this. The NHS and social care services in the UK are already struggling as it is.

As the cost of living is lower in India, you should be in a position to hire domestic help based in India, and your husband can take visits over there.

This is his responsibility, not yours; don't get suckered into disrupting your child's education and your own earning prospects to become the dutiful daughter-in-law who obediently looks after hubby's elderly parents.

Nofilteritwonthelp · 16/02/2024 01:39

So your husband will stay in the uk but you and your daughter have to live in India? And you’re ok with that? WTAF! Tell him to piss off. Either he can move (at least with you) pr pay for care. I'm highly suspicious anyone would do this to their DD, maybe he's trying to get you out of the way for someone else. Firm no and divorce if required. What are you meant to do when they die? This is the most ridiculous thing I've heard on here I think.

wallowinginmywellies · 16/02/2024 01:49

If your daughter needs to learn Hindi, can she start now before you move? I am unclear about why you are moving though. And is your husband moving too or not?

Why do you have to move - if your husband needs to spend time with his parents why cant he visit regularly leaving you and your child in the UK? Where do you live now?

DiscoBeat · 16/02/2024 02:04

Yes he will be working- his current job will be continuing and so he will be working from home and traveling back for few days or weeks as ann when needed.

I read that as he will be working from home as in new home in India, and travelling back to the office in the UK as and when needed. But I might be wrong.

ShopoholicIn · 16/02/2024 04:25

Hi OPi have not read all the responses so I might be repeating what has already been advised to you.. in which case apologies in advance.. have you looked at international schools? Some of my friends who relocated to India got their kids in international schools whose curriculum and method of teaching was very similar to British schools. Their kids moved in year 3 to hear 5 as well. They did not have any local languages as compulsory and they could instead opt some other language or subjects.

Temporaryname158 · 16/02/2024 04:42

I wouldn’t do this.

it doesn’t sound like it was your choice and sounds like you will be doing the caring whilst he is oh so busy working.

also he doesn’t seem to care much about your daughter else he’d be engaged in her education here.

i would remove her passport from the house and ask a friend to keep it safely. I love India and have visited Gujerat however this is a huge move with potentially big impacts on your daughter and India has a lot of issues with abuse of women and also sexual inappropriateness on a daily basis. I wouldn’t be moving my daughter there.

you need to stand up to your husband and refuse to go

HotandHumidToday · 16/02/2024 06:40

OP, have you visited Ahmedabad? Although a huge city, its in now way anything like Delhi or Mumbai, and quite erm, challenging as are other places in Gujarat.

Like others I would think very very long and hard about this move.

justanotherdaduser · 16/02/2024 06:51

DiscoBeat · 16/02/2024 02:04

Yes he will be working- his current job will be continuing and so he will be working from home and traveling back for few days or weeks as ann when needed.

I read that as he will be working from home as in new home in India, and travelling back to the office in the UK as and when needed. But I might be wrong.

I too read it the same way - husband will occasionally travel to UK from India for few days. I think several misunderstood and thinking husband would visit India occasionally while mother and daughter live in India permanently. That's a really bad idea but probably not the actual plan anyway.

BelindaOkra · 16/02/2024 07:42

Would something like interhigh be possible? They provide primary education now as well https://kingsinterhigh.co.uk/primary-school-online/

There are other similar UK schools with different timetables

BelindaOkra · 16/02/2024 07:44

Like others though I would be cautious about the move