Panicking about future - please help

[Badtime911]

Please don’t flame me, I feel awful enough as it is and have been up all night worrying. Our situation is this - DH and I been fortunate enough to have significant help with our children’s private education from my parents.

We have three daughters - two in year 12 and 9, and one in year 7. They have all been at the same excellent academic independent school since they were seven and are all incredibly happy. I am so grateful to my parents for the help. Eldest just got all 9s and 8s at GCSE and is two weeks into A-levels.

Here’s the problem. Earlier this week parents dropped a bombshell and told me that essentially, they don’t have enough money to keep paying the fees going forward- there are complex reasons for this and it is what it is.

DH and I are now in a very difficult position, as we cannot manage these fees ourselves. We have discussed with the bursar’s office and while they have offered some helpful advice and thoughts, there is little they can ultimately do. Until A-level stage our local state schools are oversubscribed and struggling - and the message I am getting from everywhere is to do everything possible to keep our younger two in the same private school until post GCSE.

We can just about scrape through the next few years, but this will mean - after helping kids through uni - we would be left with NO savings/retirement whatsoever. DH and I late 40s and our income is unlikely to increase much over the next 15 years. Obviously our costs will go down a somewhat once the kids are out in the world, but the long term outlook is a bit alarming.

So my question is this - while my younger two daughters will certainly go to state school for their A-levels, eldest DD is already underway with sixth form in private. She HAS said in passing that she would have been fine to go somewhere different for A-levels, but we stupidly didn’t look into it (because we didn’t think we’d have to!) Obviously, if we pulled her out right now it would help somewhat with the future financial car crash we are facing (we’d be saving about 40k over the next two years)…but is this just too disruptive, particularly given she is so academic and happy where she is - not to mention the fact we already 2 weeks into year 12 already. She’s a robust person, but this would be a total shock for her.

I feel like such an idiot. Sorry this is so long 😞

If you move the y7/y12 today will you still need to pay fees until Easter?

I'd move the y12.
That will save you 4 terms of fees.

Apply for state places for the y7 & maybe y9. there is probably no financial benefit to giving notice until the last day of term (check your Ts&Cs) but if a good place comes up for one of them you can accept.

The eldest is academic, she should be able to do fine in college.
The others you can do top up tutoring if needed.

Absolutely don’t sacrifice your pension for private school! Most of the people I know who went private have achieved nothing they couldn’t have achieved in a state school so don’t think you’re throwing away their future. Move them as quickly as possible and spend ££ saved on tutors if possible.

Good luck 🤞🏻

I agree with everyone else.

Luckily these are not bad ages to move. I know a few students who went to private school until GCSEs then voluntarily switched to state for A levels (not for reasons relating to offers from unis either; this was before that came up). They still did really well at A level - agree, students can get great grades in state schools too.

And then yr 7 - also a good time to move. Yes, not ideal two weeks into term, but far from unusual. And for year 9 - if you can move her to a school that choose options in yr 9 (rather than yr 8) all the better.

Yr 13 and yr 11 would be tricky years to move, so thank goodness you are not in that situation. Call schools on Monday and see what you can sort. Your yr 12 child is the priority for that. They may end up at different schools but that will not be the end of the world.

If it was me I would move the Y12 straight away, and wouldn't have even gone private for A levels in the first place.

I would try to keep the other two in the same school until after GCSEs if at all possible, just to give all three the same quality of education to the same stage. But if you really can't afford it then move them all now.

Lots of Dc like their schools and their friends so of course they want to stay with them. Dc are not commodities to be mined around to game the system. In the current circumstances: no choice.

Eldest moves now to state 6th form.

Year 7 goes on waiting list to as many state schools as feasible.

Year 9 is the only one I would consider seeing through to year 11 but would also have them on waiting lists.

You could also look at scholarships and bursaries at other independent schools.

Loads of Dc start independent schools in y9! It’s a standard time to leave many preps. So a start of y9 transfer into state really shouldn’t be an issue. Finding a space might be.

Such a shame you didn't find out a couple of months ago. It would have helped massively.

For the Y12, having to move NOW may well be a bombshell. It's a lot to process on no notice - mine would completely panic. However I still don't think it's proportionate to keep her in private for the next 2 years just to avoid her having this shock. There will still be students switching subjects etc in college for a few more weeks. Mine has only done 1 week so far in state sixth form college - they start later than schools. So she hasn't missed much.

If you move at least the Y7 and Y12, it will take the pressure off them as well as you. 5 years of committing to youngest's school fees, including fee increases, alongside presumably substantial university contributions is huge. I think take your time with your Y7, give her time to adjust, look at options. Whereas Y12 move asap. Y9 I think would be a lot harder to move, unless you have middle schools in the state system round your way.

sorry I know you weren't really asking about your Y7 and Y9, it's just that people will tend to say leave them because then they aren't anyone else's problem. LAs do have to find students a place.

The other option I suppose is is there a smaller, cheaper private school that would be an easier adjustment for your Y7, while still saving you several thousand pounds a year? Or even move both younger ones.

Given the system I'd start by calling around and seeing who has space for your DD then checking those schools out with her. Get a feel for your options. If there's one you're all happy with or feel is good enough that makes an easier choice. If you feel there's nowhere that will work then you can make that decision knowing what the alternative is.

Actually yes OP - you said it would save you £40k to move dd1, so is this school £2k a month? There may be cheaper private school options if you are determined all 3 girls will get private education to end of year 11.

but this isn’t something you can leave and reassess if you can cope in 6 months, next week is a good time to move dd1, and state schools may still have places. make the calls now.

If you move the eldest now if is fine in terms of courses as many students can change courses in the first few weeks of this term. It may also be an advantage for her in terms of uni applications further down the line. I would be decisive and go to visit the sixth forms and look at their results at A level on Monday. It's rare for secondaries not to want another person in courses as funding for sixth form students is helpful for the school.

@Badtime911 if you move the eldest into a state sixth form, the younger two may get sibling priority. Check the admissions policy though, as not all schools maintain their sibling priority into sixth form.

Sibling priority is for DC starting a school after an older sibling has been there for a qualifying time. Not usually all starting together.

Maybe in your universe Tiger. Not in mine.

All schools are different. The detail will be in the policy.

Lots of people talking about moving them right now and maybe that's for the best but do be aware that you'll have to pay this term's fees for all three anyway, and possibly next term's as well.

Sure, but once A level courses have started in earnest it would be very unfair to move a sixth former.

OP hasn't come back anyway.

@grippin The Government says DC must be in the school already. Not starting together. Plus it doesn’t override the situation if a school is full for in year applications.

@TizerorFizz of course they need to be in the school already, but usually one day is enough.

If it was our school, getting a sixth form place is easy peasy because it isn't full, whereas years 7-11 are oversubscribed. Having sibling priority would put the younger children at or near the top of the waiting list for their respective year groups so that, when a place comes up (which happens often, as it's London and people move around) they stand a good chance of getting it.

Our LA goes by one day as well. As soon as one child is on roll, the other shoots up the waiting list.

However in an over-subscribed area with few spaces anywhere, you could still be waiting a long time for the second child to get a place.

Here many schools stipulate that, to be a sibling, DC sibling must have been in school on the offer date earlier in the year. (Not London though). Also not every 6th form will have spaces. Even ones that might, don’t necessarily have spaces lower down.

As OP hasn’t come back, maybe grandparents have found a few more £ from behind the sofa?

They need to be in school on the offer date, but the offer date doesn't need to be "earlier in the year". At my school, if in-year applications were made today for year 12 and year 7, the year 12 child would get an offer immediately, and, once theyareon roll, the year 7 applicant would be upgraded to a sibling, with higher priority for the next year 7 place coming up. As year 7 places are still settling, there's a reasonable likelihood one would come up soon-ish, and almost certainly before the end of the academic year.

Not here.

I'd move them all. You will need to pay up to Easter if you give notice now but it's only 3 weeks into the school year so not as disastrous as if you had a y13 or y11. Keep them at their current school until a space appears since you have to pay until Easter anyway.