How to complement state school education

[pixaar3101]

We are looking for some advice from experienced folks here. Some background for context. We are an Indian couple - both professionals with masters degrees. For us kids' education is a top priority and we both will be involved in our kids' day to day learning. We have two kids and our elder child will be starting school next year. Younger is a year behind. We were initially looking to enroll both in private school. We can afford it. However, after visiting our local state schools, we were actually very happy with what we saw. We have 3 good schools close by. One is rated excellent and the other two are rated good. We don't read much into it and decided to visit the schools for ourselves and were pleasantly surprised. Children were very well behaved, well dressed and well spoken and overall seemed very happy to be in school. We recently bought house in the area we are in and pretty much all our neighbors send their kids to one of these 3 schools and everyone speaks highly of all 3 schools. So this has changed our mind and we have decided that at-least for the primary school, we will send our kids to one of these 3 state schools and then decide at secondary if they will benefit from private school. We are also in an area (Kent) where we have a number of grammar school options at 11+. So all good so far.

We were both privately educated in India and we know some of the benefits of networking and the alumni network that private schools offer. But my humble opinion is that unless you get into the top 5-10 really elite private schools such as Eaton or Winchester, that alumni network doesn't really provide tangible value.

Wife is of the opinion that we should look to complement state education with things that private schools provide but are not readily available in state schools. Neither of us have been through the British education system so we are not sure what exactly that means. So coming to the question, if you had a child in state school and if you had access to sufficient funds to pay for additional activities, what kinds of activities and additional support would you spend it on? How would you try to bridge any real or perceived gap between a good state school and a private school? We have enough time to figure it out and learn as we go but we were curious to see what people think.

Definitely- children at our prep school are expected to speak in front of the whole school regularly from year 3. Match reports, class assemblies, plays, music concerts etc

Actually they did plays from reception onwards so it's all quite natural for them.

One of the big differences I have noticed between my DC (Private ) and their State educated peers is the social skills. Of course it’s not the same for everyone and I know a lot of State educated dc have this skills and vice versa but we were at an event recently and quite a few adults commented on how my DC behaved. They were good at shaking hands, holding doors open, speaking to adults, offering to get older people drinks etc etc. whereas some other attendees the same age werent
I am not saying no State educated DC have those same skills but it is something that Private school kids seem to be good at in general

Hello, OP -

I am intrigued by your question and I am writing as a former STEM admissions tutor at an excellent university.

You are indeed in an excellent area with some wonderful state options for secondary school as well. You have some great replies above. The reason I am writing is from a concern that the replies in the form of lists could, if pursued with intense vigour, become overwhelming.

I like the emphasis on gaining comfort and confidence with public speaking. If that doesn’t happen at school it is worth providing other opportunities. They may come in many guises.

Music, art, sport, culture, nature, hobbies: tasters of all of these when the DC are young is fabulous. As the DC grow, their personalities and preferences will become apparent. They are most likely to emerge strong, confident and prepared to succeed at university if they have been encouraged to grow into themselves during the preceding years.

Past a certain point your DC will lead on what they need by way of enrichment. (Not entirely, but mostly). I would strongly encourage depth over breadth for teenagers. Universities also appreciate this.

I've found this thread very interesting as this time last year my husband and I were in a similar situation. We chose for our daughter to attend the local state primary rather than start at prep school. We also wanted to make sure that we could complement her education to enable her to potentially have the option to thrive in an independent senior school if that's the route we decide to take.

My daughter is in reception so I don't have any experience of parenting beyond this, but I am a secondary English teacher and have most recently taught in a top independent boarding school. As a parent I want my children to be resilient, sociable and confident to follow their own interests. Too many young people I taught had serious mental health challenges. These are the things that I think are important at this stage of my daughter's education - I'm sure they will evolve as she gets older and develops her interests further

1. Play - providing lots of opportunities to just play with other children - at the park, play dates at home, freedom with her siblings

2. Time in the outdoors - we are lucky to have a brilliant Forest school nearby, and our daughter runs wild there in the school holidays

3. Swimming - we live rurally, love the beach and for safety and enjoyment this is a priority for us

4. Learning to ride a bike = freedom and fun + multitasking

5. We are lucky to have a brilliant Rainbows (Girl Guiding) unit in a neighbouring village and the activities on offer are just brilliant.

6. Encouraging her to "Have a go" at lots of things on offer at school and outside of school. She loves them all so not doing too much is always a challenge.

7. Showing up to support her at school.

@Apples2023 brilliant post.. The gap between some state & private children really is startling.. For me it's the confidence & public speaking that stands out the most. Also the accents 😊Private school children are generally very articulate with lovely manners..

I would say things such as sitting exams even from a young age nursery, LAMDA exams are taken, music, etc - You can do these online at home.

Also richer MFL - In State schools languages are taught by the class teacher with little specialist experience, in prep they are often taught by specialists and added value, grads come in to play games and host a lunch once a week and chat in their language.

In competitive sport, in State schools there is a lot of having a go, prep schools seem to field teams against other schools much more from a younger age and therefore focus on, all this entails, kit ready, being in the team, winning/losing, be a good team member, congratulating others etc..