Dd put down by schoolmates for running slowly......feeling sad

[FrenchNicholasGirl]

First of all, sorry if this is a bit long and confused, but I am a bit upset.
I feel sad for dd (5 years and 5 months) as she has finally realised that she is not good at sport (by the way, sport is no big deal in our house, so there's no pressure from us in that area). She said the other day 'I'm slow at running but I'm intelligent!', which made me smile and at the same time made me sad as she is now aware of her weakness. She walked at 22 months, and as a result her jumping and running are not great, even though she keeps making progress. She said tonight that she is glad that 'A' (a boy from her class) is away because he always tells her that she is slow at running and she always comes last in races. This has made me feel so sad for her, because she is a happy, enthusiastic little girl who always tries her best (teacher's words, not mine!), and she shouldn't be put down like this. I know kids do that and she has to learn to defend herself but she is still so young, she shouldn't have to hear this, it's taken her so long to master confidence in physical things. So I find myself boosting her confidence by reminding her that she is an excellent reader (Year 1 ORT level 10), in the top group in maths, won her drama competition last year, etc....... I don't want to have to do that because I don't want to raise her as a boastful child.
What do I do??????

LunarSeasonGreetings thank you for your post, that's a fantastic story!! Good for you! Dh was saying something to me along those lines last night (but in a clumsier way, he's only a man after all ), but because both him and I were good at sports (although he is very competitive and I am not), it's hard to know what it feels like for her. I don't know whether she'll be good at other sports but we'll wait and see, all I want is for her to enjoy doing physical activities without being judged and put down!
aloha, your ds is lucky to have such a well armed mummy!!! give him a hug from dd!!

I'm actually quite good at yoga - very bendy! And it is slow so I can work out what I'm supposed to be doing and do it - plus it involves some lovely lying down. I don't love it and I'm totally inert at present, but I am quite good at it. And pilates. So there are physical things that aren't sport that us klutzes can do. Maybe that's the way your dd will go? I can honestly say, school apart, being rubbish at sport hasn't held me back in any way whatsoever. I'm sure your clever dd will be the same Frenchgirl.

thank you for your reassurance aloha.....and get back to your yoga NOW!!!!
she has been on a four day swimming block course this week (after school, poor thing....), and I am very proud of her as she has tried her best and managed to 'swim' all on her own (with that woggle thingy obviously), which is a big achievement!!

Oh FNG, big hugs.

Yep, I too was utterly, amazingly bad at sports at school. Is it any use to know that once I'd grown up and left the awfulness of the school changing room behind I started swimming, and these days I can swim a mile in less than an hour?

FNG

Tell your daughter the tortoise and the hare story! Smart chicks finish first....

r

good idea root, she knows it but hasn't really put it in context before, I will do that!
motherinfestivemood, yes it does help to know that too! you girls have really cheered me up about this, merci beaucoup!

Aloha, my brother would have been dx with dyspraxia if they did that sort of thing in 1960, when he was 3. He has always had a bad stutter, is left handed - in the days when they would tie their hands behind their backs to force then tuse their right hands (!), and is incredibly clumsy. He never got the hang of riding a bike, always dropped things and was the butt of everyone's jokes at sports for ages. At 11 he started to show them his brains and he's now an award winning writer with a bugger-off salary and a comedy series on R4. Nil Illegitimi Carborundum.

Lunarseasonsgreetings you said just what I was thinking. I was absolutely useless at athletic type sports (NEVER managed to jump a hurdle!)and dreaded team games like netball and hockey as I would worry about letting my team down. However, in my school, as we got older we got the chance to try different sports and I found that there were things I wasn't bad at. I still remember everyones surprise when I got high praise in my school report for my badminton skills!

Frenchnicholasgirl, you shouldn't worry. Your dd is only 5 and seems confident enough in her academic abilities. She has plenty of time yet to experiment and find out if there are any sports she is good at. I found I could tap dance and ride a horse, neither of which required me to run or jump!

I don't have an articulate turn of phrase so please be patient..

FNG, your daughter is obviously a bright, happy child & apart from the running thing is a top banana.

Imagine this thread turned on its head: a number of my friends have kids who are good at sports (but not exceptional so aren't looking at future careers as professionals) who really struggle with ordinary tasks like buttons & zips and educational ones like managing their reading books

Their parents worry like mad & get upset when they get the mickey taken out of them because they can't recognise basic words & in some cases their own name. Dressing after PE can be a nightmare too.

At my daughter's school they seem to pair kids together so those that are good at dressing help someone who isn't and they then pair up in PE to bring out the best in each other.

I was always about 3rd raft to be picked cos I was good but not in the 'right' gang. Was great at hockey but couldn't run for a bus. Nearly 20 years after I left school I now run regularly out of choice.

My mum was the original 'picked on' child, wore glasses, couldn't catch etc but was very musical, in the county youth orchestra, very bright & fab at cooking & sewing. She's now 60 & a 3 times a week gym regular as has found that a rowing machine is 'her' sporty thing.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone has their strengths, and yes it is tough when you stand out in whatever discipline you find doesn't come naturally.

It might sound silly but I've always been fairly good at everything but not very good at anything - Jack of all trades, master of none..

I've always wished I had something that I was REALLY good at.

Sobernoel! Top story
He's a delicious little boy and I wouldn't swop him. He's fantastically proud that he can do more than his future baby sister - he keeps saying, "I'll show her how to do things" & (to my tummy) "Baby sister, I will help you" - I think he's really relishing the thought of someone who is truly physically incompetent around the house.

thanks all for your help and wise words.
Aloha, your little boy sounds wonderful!!!
well, dd went to a party yesterday (about 12 boys and 4 girls) where they had to play football!!! eeeek I thought....but guess what? she was the only girl to join in (her choice entirely) and managed to kick the ball 4 times!!! I was of course shouting at the top of my voice ' go Lauren!!!!' Extremely proud moment to see that my little girl has such a wondeful appetite for life and still a certain lack of self-consciousness. She told me afterwards that nobody passes the ball to her at school as they say she is rubbish at football, so this was the perfect opportunity to show her that she is actually a remarkable little girl!
Am very pleased with her for a wondeful attitude (actually quite admire her )

FNG this has happened to me this weekend. I say 'me' as I'm sure this affects us much more than them!.
DS1 is like your daughter, very intelligent. He goes to Sportscoach and thoroughly enjoys it but has no sporting prowess whatsover. It doesn't bother him but his week he said a lad told him he's rubbish at hockey and DS1 said 'I know I am so he didn't need to tell me' I told him he's to ignore said boy and just concentrate on his own enjoyment. If it carries on I'll have a word with the leaders.
BTW DS1 won the only trophy the other week for best effort

juniper, well done to your ds for the trophy! his positive attitude is obviously bringing rewards which is great. I hope the stupid comments stop....

cheers FNG. I hope so too. He is very confident and like you I talk to him and discuss worries etc. a lot so I know he's very happy