DC is behind in reading, writing and maths

[JeanTMom]

I need help & this is a long af post I'm sorry.

DS (6) is underachieving at school and they're concerned, they said he doesn't pay attention in classes either, although is otherwise well behaved. I already knew he was struggling with reading and writing from the things we do at home. I know most parents say this but he's sooo clever, and his vocab is so advanced.

I spoke to him about it (sensitively) and it got me thinking maybe being 'advanced' like this is actually stopping him achieving academically. He said he hates having to write because he can't write what he wants to and it makes him feel overwhelmed and embarrassed.

I have noticed this actually, for instance when he was asked to write about his weekend...

(He's obsessed with biology) We'd taken a walk in the woods and the river had overflowed so we couldn't go very far. Instead we got a water sample and took it home for him to use his microscope.

When it got to writing about it he was excited and wanted to write about the sample (talk about amoebas and use words that I don't even know how to spell). He struggled to write down 'I went two f wuds' got frustrated and cried. I tried telling him it was amazing and it's fine to spell things the way they sound if he wanted to write more but it was no use (the fact that he knows he's not spelling them right is interesting to me, I'd never correct him if he wrote things wrong, I'm just happy he picked up a pencil! Writing amoeba as 'ameeba' or cell as 'sel' would be fantastic from my perspective.)

---

His school haven't been helpful, I think they actually might be making him hate it more.

I don't know what to do to help him.

It sounds like he could have dyslexia - 10% of the population have some form of dyslexia, with 80% of children leaving school with no formal diagnosis; it's much more common than you think.
Barrington Stoke are a dyslexia-friendly publisher, using off-white paper with a clearer and more spaced out font. Your public library may stock some titles, or if your child's school subscribes to their local Education Library Service they can get some through there for you to borrow.
Alternatively you can purchase through their website. I would try a couple of those and see if he finds them easier to read.

If he’s Y1 it will be the phonics test (if in England)

I agree with others about reading, he really needs to do it.
Some thoughts
1.Is he on the right level book? I had a battle with my son's school because the books he brought home were too hard. He was bright and articulate, but he was having to spell out every single word and then lost the flow and sense of the sentence.
At the right level he should be able to quite easily read about 80% and spell out the rest
2.Can he do phonics? I have come across a few kids who could not under any circumstances blend C-A-T. 2 were autistic, and one had dylsexia. Some kids really struggle with phonics. One of the autistic kids switched to flash card learning the words alongside the phonics, they were extremely good at memorising, so this really helped. They eventually picked up phonics aged 7 or 8 to decode new words, but for the way their brian worked, they needed to build up enough of a word bank to actually read things before they were interested in the skill of decoding.
3.Can you unpick with him what he doesn't like about reading? Is it because he can't do it. Some bright kids struggle because they have not enocuntered things that they cannot do easily and need to learn the skill of 'learning' Is it because the books are boring, or not interesting to him? If so, try and get some library books to read alongside, some kids love non-fiction for example, so a simple nature book, where you read together, might help.

I think getting 1-2-1 help with reading outside school is a great idea.

Sounds very like my son who was finally diagnosed with dyslexia in Year 11 after we eventually saw an EP privately after years of his primary and secondary schools telling us there was nothing wrong with him.

bright dyslexic kids so often get missed.
Especially if they are not disruptive at school.
😟

If he is struggling though, not passing the phonics check in year 1 could be a blessing. Our school seemed to have a lot of funding thrown at the children who didn’t pass and lots of 1:1 and group intervention.

I remember ds's tears and tantrums when we just didn't want to read/write/do math. He fell behind and school started talking about him not being able to access curriculum/needing specialist school. He started to refuse going to school and was crying and terrified of lessons. So we basically locked ourselves into his room and I said, I have all day, I sit here calmly, I won't get angry with you, I love you, but we will only leave this room after you've read this book, written 3 sentences and 5 spellings, and done 1 page of your maths workbook. It took 2 or 3 hours in the beginning. Very upsetting to witness the crying. I got hit and bitten. But very soon he calmed down. After 5 days he started to remind me it's time for homework! After a couple of weeks, our daily sessions took only 30 min. Now we get through everything in 25 minutes or less after school. Ds went from bookband 3 at end of year 1 to bookband 11plus/chapter books during less than 2 terms and his writing and spelling has massively improved. He now happily goes to school and engages with lessons and is confident. He got a dispraxia and ADHD diagnosis, but teachers now feel confident he can progress well in mainstream school.

Nessy is brilliant OP. We use it for children who are behind in their literacy but it’s great for all kids.

Dynamo maths is great for catching up on maths skills.

Nessy Reading and Spelling (rather than all the Nessy options).

This sounds just like my son. Completely refuses to read and gets very frustrated and anxious at it, yet seems bright otherwise and really interested in specific stuff. It was actually his struggles with reading that made me realise his brain does work differently - I think he has adhd traits and asd traits (although school don’t see this as it’s quite subtle and he seems sociable). possibly dyslexia too He only got 22/40 on the phonics screening test
my plan is to get a private educational psychology review as soon as he is 7- this gives tips for the school on how he can be supported
im also working through toe by toe with him - just 5 minutes a day using a sand timer. But of a battle but we try every day. Then we do paired reading where I read the books he loves but run my finger along the words so there is no pressure for him to read but at least he is being exposed to words
then also words on flashcards
hoping it’ll help!
hope things are going ok for you guys.

Project x books (biff and chip far too boring)
numercon for maths - some like visual things to help counting / dividing etc

If school are raising concerns it means he is having difficulties that are beyond “normal” difficulties. Please keep this in mind.

In terms of reading, if there is an underlying difficulty forcing it isn’t going to solve anything. Consider why he might be struggling, there are many many conditions that can make reading difficulties, many of which come with spikey profiles. Adhd, SPLD, ASD etc etc. don’t rule anything in or
out but keep working with the school.

@steppemum

We had to ditch phonics and went to flash cards.