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Original poster

Her dad isn't legally her parent

31 replies

jobling · 27/02/2023 09:25

I took my DD on holiday in school time (yr 6) after covid cancellations with my DM, my DP didn't come and didn't agree with taking DD out.

My DP has been my DP for many years and is Dad to DD but ultimately there is nothing official (no father on birth certificate or any other legal documents).

I got issued a £60 for me and £60 for DP for DDs absence. It upset DP greatly as he didn't want a ccj or anything so I paid it after calling the council to disagree. They told me he was liable to pay as he lives with me and I couldn't appeal!

So does this mean he would automatically have my daughter if something happened to me?

I'm not saying my DP is a lodger at all but would this also mean that a lodger would a lodger be liable to pay a school fine if they'd lived in my house for a number of years?

I'm just curious really as to know why I would have been fined for DP!?

OP posts:
Shesinthegym · 02/03/2023 11:43

To answer your other question about if something were to happen to you-
If your dds biological father or his family put themselves forward to care for her in your absence they would be assessed in the same way as your dp if he put himself forward. They would look at who out of those people could best ensure the needs of your dd were met regardless of who she had been living with before. They would take into consideration that your dp has been her father figure but it’s nut a fail safe. If her biological father is known he would be approached first. If not they would seek to find him and complete a dna. Unless there was a good reason he couldn’t care for her then he would likely get custody over you dp unfortunately (assuming he’s alive).
There are ways you can ensure your dp cares for your dd in your absence so if you want to have that you need to seek legal advice.

Shesinthegym · 02/03/2023 11:44

Also anyone in your family or friends could also put themselves forward just thought I’d add that.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 02/03/2023 11:48

The whole “care of the child” is something that will be challenged at some point imo.

The OP’s DP has no legal responsibility for her child.

frowningfrog · 04/03/2023 07:08

Out of curiosity @prh47bridge what would happen in this situation if the OP's child also had a biological father named on the birth certificate who had legal PR and was involved in the child's life, though long separated? Would all three 'parents' get an attendance fine?

prh47bridge · 04/03/2023 08:37

frowningfrog · 04/03/2023 07:08

Out of curiosity @prh47bridge what would happen in this situation if the OP's child also had a biological father named on the birth certificate who had legal PR and was involved in the child's life, though long separated? Would all three 'parents' get an attendance fine?

As the law stands all three could be fined. Whether they would all be fined is up to the council.

Theelephantinthecastle · 09/03/2023 15:02

So does this mean he would automatically have my daughter if something happened to me?

This is quite complicated and if it's something that worries you, it's worth getting legal advice.

But given that she is already old enough to express a preference, I think there is a good chance she would stay with him if they both wanted that. It wouldn't be "automatic" though

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