Prepared to move for the "perfect fit" all-through independent. Please help us choose!

[TwoVeryDifferentOnes]

DH and I are looking for a nurturing, creative independent for our two kids, within striking distance of London (1.5hr commute).

The catch is, the kids have very different needs...

Eldest is Year 4, verbally and spacially very bright but not getting far above baseline with anything at the moment (currently in state primary). In particular, non-verbal reasoning has been flagged as low. This one needs very good pastoral care, a less-competitive atmosphere, and possibly project-based, creative learning environment. There's no ASD, but ADD is possible (on waitlist).

Child 2 is currently in Reception. Very bright and sparky, above expectations in all areas. Sensitive in nature, but with good resilience. Has a strong interest in performing arts (spec. ballet).

We prefer a more rural setting, but otherwise open to moving anywhere...

In brief, the shopping list is; commutable from London, 4-18 yrs, co-ed, day pupils, nurturing, good creative provision, small classes, project-based learning, not too sporty, supports lower ability/SEN but allows bright kids to fulfill potential.

Moon-on-stick, or any ideas? Thanks!

Caterham is fantastic and matches your requirements

I wish we lived near this place…
www.hamptoncourthouse.co.uk

Don’t want to be negative but personally I wouldn’t move house to be near Fosse Bank / Sackville.

(And OP, neither of them are ‘all through’.)

@TwoVeryDifferentOnes St Margaret's Bushey is now co-ed.

perhaps take a look at Pipers Corner near High Wycombe in leafy Great Kingshill

Bedales? In Petersfield, 1.5 hours from London

I’d also say you need to choose the right school for each of your dcs individually. Having said that, Rendcomb College in Gloucestershire fits your list.

Frensham Heights in Farnham. But tbh I don't think they "Do" SEN at all well

Hello do you have experience of a child in either Fosse bank or Sackville? I would really, really appreciate any wisdom you have about either? We have made too many educational mistakes and these two are now high on my list as potential next moves !! I really can’t bear to make any more poor choices!!! Thank you for any input x

Hello do you have experience of a child in either Fosse bank or Sackville? I would really, really appreciate any wisdom you have about either? We have made too many educational mistakes and these two are now high on my list as potential next moves !! I really can’t bear to make any more poor choices!!! Thank you for any input x

I would look at somewhere like Stormont prep in Potters Bar with a view to moving on to Queenswood just up the road. Or whatever other school you can travel to as there are other options in this area.

Children change. Staying in one place limits their horizons. Most people see how Dc develop, for good reason. Also I know schools like Pipers Corner reserve the right to not allow progression beyond y6. So then what? A big problem.

St Edmunds Canterbury - way less focus on sports being the be all and end all than the other Canterbury schools. Excellent music and drama.

Bryanston - all round a bit different maybe.

We spent a long time trying to fit our twins into the same school and it was square pegs and round holes. One is now at St Chris (as previously posted) and the other at Haileybury. They are polar opposites and well suited to each. IMO one of the benefits of private school are that you are more able to tailor your school choice for the child, not their siblings.

Genuine question - how do parents manage the school run for dc at 2 or even 3 different schools, plus attendance to parents evenings, performances, sports days etc if they clash? Some posters seem to have dc at schools miles/counties away from each other. We tried it for 1 year, but logistically it was a nightmare and basically made me lose my career.

Parents get in grandparents. Don’t go to everything. I’ve known parents not come to much at boarding schools. They use scjool transport which can cover a wide area. Organise lifts eith others. It’s quite normal to be a bit hands off as working parents are- they work.

To be honest a good state school would be more able to cater to both of your children. Private schools tend to have a “type”, and if your child isn’t that type, they won’t be the best fit. State schools generally cope with all comers.

I would also be reluctant to choose an all through school based on (early) primary behaviours of children - one of mine in particular has become more studious, competitive and ambitious as they’ve gotten older. A school that was based around supporting her needs in Y1 would not have worked for her in Y5.

Sorry - forgot to suggest Cambridge. Commutable to London, good state and private options.

Different areas but I'd suggest looking at Ashford School (Kent, 40 mins to London) and St Margaret's Bushey (Herts)

No comment on one singular school but to state I had hoped to find an all through school for DD. She is about to turn 18 but I remember when she was 3 and we enrolled her into what we thought was the perfect school. It was the perfect school for her, then. She changed, developed, it was necessary to change schools. I remember feeling like a failure when she had to change schools but in hindsight ir was just what was needed. So yes plan, but don’t be aggrieved if the plan has to change.

Posting late, but to say we have a somewhat similar mix of DCs and are looking at St Margaret's in Bushey among others. It seems to have a good range of academic abilities, lovely space, and a great focus on mental health. Our youngest, like yours, is too young to really know what will suit - but my view is that the junior school looks nice and if it turns out he needs something more academic or otherwise different as he gets to senior stage, there are a lot of senior schools in the area, so we could always explore other options when the time comes.

Another vote for Gads Hill - it offers very good pastoral care, a tight-knit community feel (and an international feel due to ethnic diversity). Particularly in the junior (primary) stage, the range of abilities is wide: some pupils require extra help, while others are very bright and academic. The school caters to both groups. There are "intervention" programmes to support the less able and "extension" programmes to stretch the more able.

The intake for the senior school differs from that of the junior school, largely due to the prevalence of grammar schools in Kent.

It only goes to 16+, with the local grammar school's sixth form being the most popular destination, though some students opt for other independent schools or apprenticeships.

Regarding King's Rochester, the feel is very different. Book a tour and you can see yourself

@TinaYouFatLardmay i know if your kid is still in haileybury ??