What subtle differences should I know before moving my teens from British to American school?

[dianatandy]

I know a lot about the curriculum differences and I grew up in the US. However, my children (13 and 15) have always lived in the UK and now we are moving to the US. What small things about American high school might be a culture shock to them? Any tips? Anyone had similar experiences?

Thank you all.

There is a much wider range of experience across US high schools than in the UK as a lot of decision making is devolved to the state, county or city/township level. You don’t generally get options - it is entirely based on where you live unless you go private, so make that a key criteria when choosing where you live. It also makes it a bit difficult to generalise.

I am an American adult currently navigating uk schools for my British kids, so would be interested in the reverse perspective! some things that might feel different:
-no uniforms, but sometimes complicated dress code policies
-everyone takes the bus
-extracurricular activities much more important (especially among middle/upper middle class families) as college applications more about creating a cv/portfolio and grades /test scores just one element
-really early starts - I remember classes started 7:30am at my high school, and then finished 2:30. There has been movement away from this in some schools, but not all - it allows teens to get a job after school and/or allows more time for extracurriculars
-I am sure someone will come along and mention gun culture and metal detectors, which do exist in some schools but not most. I attended 4 different middle/high schools (we moved a lot) and none had this. There is usually a school security guard, who in my schools was mostly kept busy policing smoking/kids trying to skip out on class

Also, depending on your state, some allow kids as young as 15 to drive, with 16 more common across the US (with restrictions on when/how they can drive). Many kids start driving themselves once they have their licence.

On tv it looks brutal. Check what they are expecting! They might need a reality check!

It does and if your not into sport cheerleading bands etc god help you.

The words used for some stuff are probably different, but thanks to US TV shows, your kids probably already know them?

Sophomore. Home room. Valedictorian etc.

Totally state dependent but

You could have a 22yo in a senior class if they're thick enough to not get enough points to graduate

The early start thing a op mentioned isn't a thing dependent on state

GPA is necessary to graduate high schools and you need to look into SATS for college.

Will they be going to college in uk or us?

It will be a massive culture shock. Schools are the most difficult places to adjust to because they are a unique subculture. And so different state to state, town to town.

What's different? Food, values, curriculum, university, most cultural references, accents, fashion, money, lockers, sport... pretty much everything is different.

Just be prepared to support them.

There is really no way to avoid this feeling like their world had shifted under their feet. That doesn't mean they won't enjoy many of the differences - but it will be a very steep learning curve.

Some high schools are huge! My friend’s daughters go to one in Houston with almost 3000 students. That’s just the high school, so the equivalent of years 10-13, the middle school (Y7-9) was pretty big too.

You might find this interesting

sunnyinlondon.com/differences-between-british-vs-american-schools/

Size. When I lived in the states the local once's were at least twice the size of here. Everyone uses the buses. Oldest kids drive to school 16-18

The older young people always surprise me. They look far too old to be in school.

There seems to be an accepted, endorsed hierarchy of cool kids rather than the unofficial hierarchy of British schools.

It's really interesting- I have no idea what US schools are like apart from my observations of them on TV. You know them intimately, but perhaps dot see the differences because of your unfamiliarity with the UK system.

Are your dCs in a state school here?

Absolutely not true. Only one of my schools had cheerleading at all, and it wasn’t a cool thing to do. Sport will have cultural value, but not necessarily American football - many schools struggle to field a team outside of maybe heartland type areas. In one school I attended it was lacrosse, in another it was soccer.

Everyone is familiar with the stereotypes, but I don’t see much of my lived experience reflected in most tv shows. Tv shows exploit certain tropes based on a mythology of high. School that bears no relation to reality.

I'd prepare them for the active shooter drills. My friend teaches in an American middle school, before the new school year she had her active shooter training refresher, it's then one of the first things she had to do with her new class at the start of term.

These two videos explain the differences in an interesting way.

I will aLso say that changing schools can be a really fabulous thing as a teenager when you are figuring out your identity. Personally I found it gave me license to try new things and break away from any limitations (self imposed or otherwise), to explore a different facet of my personality.

I also wouldn’t assume your kids would be given a hard time - more likely than not the American kids will find them absolutely fascinating. Most American kids have no/limited opportunities for foreign travel and will be immensely curious, if maybe also annoyingly naive about the world.

Good I’m glad it’s not true I was bullied at U.K. school and that was bad enough.

Where are you going?

Remember that "rubber" means something quite different in US English...

I have 2 in American high school right now, 9th and 12th. Schools vary from place to place depending on local culture--so in Texas, (American!) football is absolutely huge, but in parts of the Northeast, people almost don't care and other sports like soccer and lacrosse are more popular. Some areas are ethnically and socioeconomically diverse; some are quite homogeneous. TV is not very accurate I would say.

It's definitely not bad to be academic at my kids' school here in Maryland and the kids work very hard. Schools are bigger: we have 2,200 kids in grades 9-12. There's all sorts of kids and most of them do find their niche socially. As well as sports there's all sorts of other activities at a large urban or suburban school: service activities, academic-adjacent clubs like Mathletes, Odyssey of the Mind, robotics club, Mock Trial or debate, and more social things like LGBT group, D&D club, Asian student club, etc. It seems that the number of clubs has risen in the past 20 years, and they've been the best way for mine to make friends. Most areas still run early, but there's a push to have high school start after 8 so kids can get a full night's sleep. California passed a law requiring that.

Some places have a dress code but not everywhere (ours is incredibly basic and bans bare midriffs and visible undergarments) and schools tend to be less particular about appearance, jewellery, etc. DD goes to school in Doc Martens and coloured hair (a mix of blue and purple at the moment). I would expect that would be an adjustment for someone used to strict British uniform. The only shoe rules are closed-toes in science labs and sneakers for PE. In two states we've yet to have decent school lunches, so don't be surprised if your children decide to pack sandwiches. Based on my friends' experiences, I don't think that much has changed since your day in that respect! One thing that has is that it all seems to be digital textbooks now and they give the students laptops.

In my experience Americans think British people are cool and will love their accents.

Little things: it's funny because in many respects I think American teenagers are more supervised than British ones, certainly when comparing middle class kids, but within the school walls, I think it's a bit less so.

Yes I embarrassed myself by referring to one in America! Similarly pants has a somewhat different meaning there.

They break into dance routines in the cafeteria most days from what I have seen

I'd avoid moving teens abroad unless there's no other option. Been there etc...

But if you are sure you want to do this:

High schools are huge. Pastoral care can be variable or limited.
Extracurricular stuff is REALLY -and I mean REALLY!!- important.
Research SATs and buy the prep books.

You'll need to focus on them compiling a portfolio which will be viewed favorably by College admission administrators. Read up on college statements. And I hope you have a plan re. funding 😱

Driving... most teens get their learner's permit the minute they turn 15 or 16 (depending on state). Your car insurance will be sky high - a because you'll be considered 'new` drivers, and because of having a teen driver.

Good luck 🌷

Oh yes!!! 😂

I went to an American school as a child for two years and LOVED it!!! It was my favourite school by far with the best memories and I was neither sporty nor musical nor cool

One big difference I noticed was that the curriculum was much easier than in Europe (I moved from a school in Austria) and it was much easier to get good grades.