11Plus next week - any advice or experience?

[BabaJones]

My son is taking a 11plus test next week, followed by another test next month if he makes it to the 2nd stage. Against my better judgement, I’ve been sucked into the 11plus madness and would love to hear from other parents. (I didn’t grow up in the UK: perhaps it is why the whole 11plus concept seems mad to me!)

• If you are on this 11plus ride, how are you and your child coping?

• If you have a child currently at a Grammar, is their education there living up to your expectations?

• If you have a child who tried for a Grammar in the past and did not make it, how did you (and they) handle it?

CONTEXT: Over the past year, I've been preparing my son for the Entrance tests to our local Grammar schools. (At my son's request.) I started reluctantly and promised myself I wouldn't get too invested... but here am I, anxious and losing my sense of perspective. It doesn't help that our local Comprehensive received an Inadequate OFSTED rating at the last inspection. Of course, I am telling my boy that he can get a great education at whatever school he goes to, that the work we are doing will be beneficial for any school, etc. But I need to put my rational head on and start believing it myself, haha.
Thank you!

Good luck!
I'm sure you're already managing expectations. We took the 11+ as a way of helping to decide which school was the best fit.
The tutoring was very helpful in filling the gaps, exam techniques (still useful) and building confidence.
DD did go to the grammar. Be mindful that every school has it's failings including grammars and there will still be problems of one kind or another.
I have no regrets. It's the best school for DD despite having flaws and academically she has soared and done much better than I expected.

@Beamur That's great feedback, thank you! Well done to your daughter. And yes, there can be issues in any school - that's a good reminder.

Went through it last year with DD, just reminded her that it wasn't about pass or fail, you can get a stunningly high mark and still not get in, a certain amount is in the lap of the gods. Everything she learnt would serve her in good stead in any school etc. She did get in, and is definitely living her best life right now, definitely the best for her although finding the longish journeys hard. Now going through the same thing again with DS, taking the same approach and also trying to keep the actual day as relaxed as possible, talking about having a nice piece of cake after etc, keeping his focus off the occasion.

There’s nothing special happening at grammars. It’s all a farce tbh

I'm with you (as well as being a foreign-born parent who thinks the whole schools admissions thing is mental.)

We've got a really weird local secondary landscape. A pair of superselectives, and a two pairs of single-sex secondaries where the girls' schools are great and the boys' schools... aren't. One outstanding mixed-sex comp which has defined feeder schools, one average mixed comp (our closest) which is about 2/3 boys thanks to the difference between the local girls' and boys' options.

We're sitting for the superselective in a couple of weeks. I think DS1 has a slim chance of getting through, we've been working towards it and had some tutoring but not the intensive prep I know some parents have done. We're also sitting for a couple of private school so that we have choices, though it will be very difficult to find the money if we go down that road.

Good luck! It's a bit different for us as we're not in a grammar county but it's so easy to get sucked in to the madness.

Good luck. Most of all make sure they know it ain’t the end of the world and they will get a school that will suit them on the end.

it’s awful to see kids leaving our 11+ exam locally in floods of tears.

@JassyRadlett I live in your borough😂

Good luck, we are taking a similar route to you. Hopefully my DS will get in somewhere but I don't want to apply too much pressure!

Thanks, everyone.

@ElvenDreamer True, the bar is strikingly high and luck plays a part. Very pleased to hear that your daughter is doing so well - and good luck to your son! Great idea about planning a treat after the test.

@Lapland123 and There shouldn’t be anything special about Grammars.
But the system is what it is.

@JassyRadlett @KindergartenKop The situation in your borough does seem unusual 😊 Good luck to your boys, whichever path they end up on!

@Helenloveslee4eva A very wise reminder. Mental health should always come first.

My son did the 11+ today .

I've kept it low key, just said to him that it's about choosing the right style of education for secondary. He's done some online classes to prep him for the types of questions
I don't think he'll pass however the online classes have been great to bridge the gap in education that COVID caused. And I know that whatever he does in life he'll be amazing at it! A test when you're 10 years old doesn't define you

Good luck! It's a weird one for sure, at this point I'll just be glad when it's over and we have some certainty...

Good luck to all!

@Sloelydoesit Great spirit! And exactly: 10 years of age is ridiculously early for this type of selection. I wish each school offered fantastic education, sporting facilities, etc - while operating an effective, fluid streaming system. Well done for managing to keep the 11plus process low key. And good luck to your boy. My son also sat his test yesterday: the SET in Sutton - perhaps the same test as your son!

@JassyRadlett @KindergartenKop another resident here!
DS sitting for super selective in 2 weeks, also sat for neighbouring borough on Tuesday. However on reflection the journey isn’t nice so we won’t bother pursuing that.
We visited the boys schools last year and actually wr were really impressed, especially with S, although DD preferred CB. I think the girls schools are so good it makes the boys schools seem less so, and of course the locations aren’t great in terms of aspirational surroundings. However, as a friend pointed out, if either of the boys comps were the only choice, with no comparative girls schools we would probably think we were really lucky!
Anyway, good luck to both your DSes.

Ha! Hi neighbour!

People do say good things about S but the results aren't that great... there's so little to go on isn't there!

we decided against Horrible Journey school too - kind of wish we'd done it for practice now!

Sorry DS, not DD.
@BabaJones DS sat similar on Tuesday. Bless him he’s a perfectionist and we try to encourage him to just forget about the exam after but he dwells/revisits it. We all really can’t wait until it’s all done with. He does like the comps so that’s something. I’ve been very straight with him and told him although I have full confidence he is more than clever enough to thrive at the grammar, due to sheer weight of competition he’s unlikely to get in.

@JassyRadlett the head at S just seems really great and the whole vibe was nurturing and calm. I think it’s probably the kind of school that if you coast or disengage for some reason they are very supportive and caring but perhaps don’t do the academic stretch bit. DS will always work at 100% so I am reasonably confident he would do as well there as anywhere and probably have a nice time too. (DS2 different character completely and may well go private with him).
Friends with boys there are also very happy.
Not keen on H at all although couldn’t put my finger on why. Probably wouldn’t get in there from where we are anyway.

It's natural to be over invested and worried about now. It's so stressful which is not great for such young dc.

The day itself for our local consortium exam was huge pressure. Just so grim.

We also sat for another school at the same time , (Catholic grammar). That still had boys coming out crying. Ds1 took that in his stride but he cried after the CEM one.

In the end so few children in his class or any other of my friends classes passed. The test really did sort out the top few dc from the class.

Anyway ds1 is loving it. Its just a fab school great facilities, excellent communication with parents, real academic focus. We chose the Catholic one because its great but ds1 had his pick. He chose it.

Friends at the local CEM Grammars are less enthusiastic but it's early days for some. I hear mixed reports but the academic performance is sound.

My daughter went through the whole 11+ process a few years ago. We're in North London and she was at a prep school, so the 11+ madness was all-consuming, as all the kids in her year sat exams for mostly the same schools. I'm also foreign-born and educated, so the whole system seems absolutely insane to me, but I felt like we didn't have a choice given that all her classmates were aiming for the same schools and everyone was discussing it and preparing for it at school. I also got sucked into the whole tutoring malarkey.

My daughter is not at all academically gifted, so I was extremely worried about the effect on her self-esteem if she didn't get through any of the entrance exams. It would have been especially horrible, as her classmates would be discussing their results at schools. She found the tutoring torture, so I at least wanted her to feel like her hard work paid off.

My strategy was to let her sit for numerous schools I knew she had a better chance of getting into and only one or two "aspirational" schools. I know people say not to let them sit too many assessments, but my daughter totally got into the routine of the exams and wasn't at all nervous after she had done a few of them.

I didn't let her sit for Henrietta Barnett or Habs Girls, as I didn't want her to feel inadequate and realistically she would never have got in.

At the end, she got into 5 schools and was even offered an art scholarship at one of them. They were good schools (Aldenham, Queenswood etc) but not the super academically selective. It really boosted her confidence! She didn't get into Latymer (which was our aspirational school) but I kept emphasising how awesome it was that she made the waiting list and how great the schools were that she did get into.

DS is sitting tomorrow and I'm suddenly terrified for him.

We haven't tutored him particularly and lots of children in his school have been tutored since year 3 onwards - now worried I've put him at a massive disadvantage. The competition is horrendous in this area and some parents take it VERY SERIOUSLY INDEED.

He's good at some things not so good at others and he's one of the youngest in his year (late July) and has some learning needs so has some very minor adjustments made (no extra time sadly) . I initially entered him slightly against my better judgment but he really wanted to do it but lately he's picked up and is getting good scores even in his weaker areas when we do practise tests.

Feeling slightly on edge worried that if he does not get through he'll just think what's the point in trying - and he has really tried more recently.

Very proud of him just for being willing to put some effort in and try whatever the result.

How do you find out about the 11+ exams? My DC has just started year 5 but I've not heard anything about it. I am also a foreign parent with no idea how the system here works!

You need to pick the schools you want to apply to and then look up their open days and the deadlines to register for the 11+. Independent/private schools have a fee (usually between £50-150) for registering for the assessment. From memory, grammar school assessments are free. There are also some schools that use a consortium test (i.e. one test for several schools). It all depends on the area where you live and the schools you are applying to. If you tell us the schools you are interested in, posters here can advise you of the process

Also, you don't have to sit the 11+ unless you are applying for a private or a grammar school. Ig you have a good local state secondary that you can get into on distance, there is no need to sit the 11+

We're going to see both and ultimately will be led by DS. It's so interesting, though, people love one and don't like the other in roughly equal numbers. So helpful to hear your thoughts, thank you!

We're much closer to H and S would be inconvenient; DS is also the kind of kid who does need to be stretched or he'll tend to just do enough to get decent marks but definitely not meet his potential. I guess with either we'll be able to afford to put the scaffolding around him with extra curricular etc if we decide not to go private which is a total privilege and luxury not many have.

Good luck with yours - no doubt see you outside some exams!

Thank you so much @XelaM !
The school I am most interested in the Latymer Grammar School in north east London...I will look up the process/dates/etc but if you or anyone has any advice it would be gratefully received!

@IDidntKnowItWasAParty , you need to log into the elevenplusexams.co.uk website - forum/ regions/ Hertfordshire

@listsandbudgets Good luck with the test - I hope it’s gone well. It sounds like your son is doing great and that all the practice will have been very beneficial – no matter what happens next. It’s interesting that he so wanted to do the 11plus. My boy is the same: he initiated it all and is very motivated. I can’t imagine I would have had this kind of drive at 9 or 10 years of age – but to my surprise, many kids do! And yes, 11Plus tutoring is very lucrative business. I have prepared my son myself but still spent a fortune in books and mocks. All of my son’s friends who we know are taking the 11Plus have had a private tutor for over a year – and sometimes from Reception!

@XelaM So pleased it’s worked out well for your daughter. We have had the same experience with kids at school talking about the 11Plus, comparing how everyone is doing, etc. That’s how my son heard about Grammars and I felt I also needed to give my son a chance. It’s great that your judgement wasn’t clouded by it all. You followed your own strategy, tailored to your daughter’s own needs and personality – and it paid off!

@ZenNudist That 11Plus experience sounds dreadful. Poor children. Interesting that the Grammars in your area are not generating the enthusiasm you’d expect. Education is far more than academic results.Glad you’ve found a brilliant school that suits your boy so well.

@FlamingoSocks Fingers crossed the test went well for your son. (Because hey, there is a part of luck in this crazy process!) Exactly, our children need to know that their worth is not measured by one test and that we know they are smart and can do amazingly well in any school.

Thank you for all the answers. It's very helpful.