Costs for private primary?

[soootiredddd]

Hi all

I will post another version of this on the SN board but I wanted to ask for information specifically about the cost of private primary. This is not a route we ever thought we would go down, partly because my DH and I were both state education all the way through, none of our family have been to private schools, but also in general I like to think the state education system is a good one. However my DD is in preschool and we are awaiting and ASD diagnosis for her and she is struggling. The primary we are in catchment for is very big (2 class intake, 32 kids per class) and I have heard mixed things. We are thinking of looking into smaller private schools around us and luckily we have quite a good choice.

However we are trying to work out if we can actually afford it. Most of the schools near us seem to cost about £3k-£3.5k per term but then this is only for term time, 9-3 each day. In order to afford it we would both need to work full time and so at a minimum we would need after school care, whether that be an after school club or childminder. Then we also need to take into account the cost of uniforms, trips etc. And even things like lunches.

Please would anyone mind sharing how much they spend on education/childcare/related expenses per month? In our house we work from a monthly budget so I'm finding it difficult to work out just based on termly costs.

Thanks for any help!

*private secondary, not primary secondary!

She's very young and may be fine in a big class next year. My dd was very quiet at nursery, didn't really interact. One close friend in reception and year 1. Been very happy throughout primary and now in year 6 with lots of friends. This is also a two form / 32 in a class primary. I wouldn't jump to private too quickly in your position. Maybe talk to the school about what they can do to support her.

ive just checked DDs school website and they do offer a monthly paying option which is £937.50 so assuming your other child is younger and you’d still have childcare fees to pay for them; it might be too much.
could you visit first and take your DD along and see if it’s the right fit first?

We actually didn't choose private because of the SEN - DD wasn't diagnosed till she'd been at the school 3 and a bit years. She has a type of autism where it's estimated only 30% of DC manage school, so in retrospect, we were very, very lucky that the shortage of state places locally pushed us down this path.

I think it's the music and sport provision that make the difference for her, plus the high staff to student ratios are helpful.

OP, most schools do a direct debit arrangement where you can pay monthly. Ask them about that - sometimes run by organisations like School Fee Plan.

Also if you have childcare vouchers the school may accept them till she turns 5. Not sure about tax free childcare.

I went to private school whilst my sister went to state school. It was what our parents felt was best for each of us. I don't think there was any resentment, or at least I haven't heard my sister express any ideas that she was hard-done by.

If your dd is still 3 and due to start Sept 2022 she is a summer born? (April 1st - Aug 31st) you could request a deferral & start term after she turn 5 at compulsory school age (September 2023) you can request a Reception start. Would give you more time to get things in place and give your dd more time to gain confidence. Starting reception at 5 really does make a difference. Speak to your local authority schools admissions department for state schools & directly with the admissions team for private.

We did this for our August born dd at a private school. The difference that extra year has made has honestly been remarkable.

in terms of costs, do be aware that fees for private increase usually as they move up the school (as well as yearly % increases) we pay about 4k a term for reception but 6k a term for yr 6. These are term time only costs.

I think the smaller class sizes really works for a lot of ASD kids. Also my DS flourished with music and art taught at prep school. However, he could not hot cope with holiday clubs and I had to work school hours term time. He could just about so after school club at school.

senior schools are much more expensive

if I had to pay for one I would pay for senior school as a large comprehensive would have led to school refusal for DS

I’d be thinking about whether you can afford private for the long term (duration of education) as an ASD child you don’t want to pull them out if you decide whether it’s too much money. Or if you decide you want another child / house and the “spare” cash / lifestyle changes as that’s not fair on the child. There is no way an ASD kid can go private to state school that would be the worse decision (unless going SS but that’s different with an EHCP)

small independent too - some are much larger and still do large intakes - which equals noise

Also, I’d consider ones with senior schools attached - you don’t want to be having to do the evil 11 plus rubbish.

plus there is skiing £1.5k? Music lessons £200, after school clubs, residential £400 the lists go on ….. but some things you can pay on childcare vouchers.

Or you could try her in the state and if it doesn’t work do private. 2 form entry is very small …..

Plus private schools are in 32 weeks of a year so you might need extra childcare!

Our household income is a bit lower than yours but we have a very low mortgage. I have never even considered that we could afford private school. As she gets older, it will only get more expensive.

I'm a state primary teacher. We are very well-used to children with ASD. If you have started the diagnosis pathway already, that is an advantage.

@Phineyj do you mind me asking what kind of asd that is? My child also has a dx

How old is your younger DD?
What if she turns out to have similar issues?

PDA.

I would really recommend caution and wouldn’t proceed in your shoes. Our own experience is that the private schools my dds attend are not knowledgeable about Sen at all. The teachers are years behind IMO and not actually that sympathetic. They don’t have the experience state school teachers have as they don’t see enough of it and they also have a little bit of a “this shouldn’t be my problem” approach which means they don’t have any Sen strategies and even when given them don’t apply them. We are transitioning back into state £££ down.

Things to think about:

• compliance now doesn’t mean compliance later as hormones surge and drive for autonomy starts to kick in at age 9 up
• socially especially IME for girls with asd age 8 up things can become really tricky and a small class can mean not enough kids to find her tribe and make friends
• private schools manage out compliant children if they develop mental health needs which is the case for many children with asd in the later years of primary as the struggles of being different really hit. I have seen this happen
• really academic kids with asd can have very spiky profiles academically in later years even if very able as the rigidity and lack of Theory of mind means they will have subjects they won’t like and eg English can start to outstrip their comprehension skills.

In all honesty if I had my time again the best school for my dds would have been a larger state with lots of experience of sn and lots of friends to make including a lot of kids with sn.

@Phineyj i thought it must be - thanks so much. My dd has some demand avoidance now, but not a pda dx as such

Have you looked at all the state options, and not just your local school?

We sent both our children to a private prep and the fees were £5000 per term per child. We could pay in a lump sum either termly or yearly and the school also had an option to pay monthly by Direct Debit.

They had a school uniform shop in the school and only charged cost price, which was great, they also had a thriving second hand section where we paid 10% of the original cost.

Lunches were paid termly but they could take a packed lunch if they chose. Trips I would say were similar to other state primary schools in the area. Be aware though that they will increase fees on a yearly basis - we usually got a letter at the beginning of the final term to let us know what the new fees would be from the following September.

our DS goes to an independent school with wraparound care from 7:30 am to 6pm Monday to Thursday. He has 3 meals a day at school. Wraparound costs us £6.50 for the breakfast club and £14 for the evening. You can book week in week and any combination of days and sessions you like. It’s run by an independent company, but in school premises.

However the school only introduced the wraparound this year, and for you it will really depend on what is available at your specific chosen school.

the terms are shorter than state so covering the holidays can be a stretch in terms of time off work. You’d still have to use some holiday club even if your DD went to state, so remember to deduct that from your state vs independent comparison. Or are you saying that one of you would not have to work if you were not paying school fees?

uniform is fairly simple, most expensive item is a waterproof jacket that was £30 Whole set including sports kit but excluding shoes was maybe £150.

we’re in Zone 3 London.

To be clear, the cost of the three meals is included in the school fees and wraparound care fees.

And I volunteer with the second hand uniform team, there is loads of stock in great condition and it’s very cheap. We get lots of donations as kids growing so fast and the proceeds go to charity. I could kit out a new girl for a year for £60.

I would honestly try the state primary first. It doesn’t sound like you can easily afford private and I think a pp is right that secondary can be so much more overwhelming. I think I might be trying to save so I had options at secondary. Particularly for asd girls the wheels can come off in their teenage years. If you have an EHCP you can then name the school you think will be best for her, so I would concentrate on finding the state school that you think would suit her best. My asd dd goes to a lovely state school where they are very responsive to her needs. This is in Birmingham, so not a little village with small class sizes anyway.

Thanks all just coming back to this and it’s hugely helpful. Lots to think about.
The other option that we are very fortunate to have is for us to reduce our hours at work. Neither of us would want to stop work completely but our employers will allow us to temporarily reduce our FTE for 12 months and then reevaluate a year later whilst still maintaining the same contract (so we always have the option of returning to 1.0FTE). So instead of spending each month on private school fees we could probably afford to reduce our incomes and be more flexible with working hours. We could send her to state primary and one of us would be able to do drop off and pick up every day and not need after school club. And we could even probably cover most of holidays too because our work are very flexible. We could also still save about £500 a month towards possible senior school fees in the future. Maybe this would be a better option.

@soootiredddd that sounds like a really good option and I would go for that. Spend the months between now and October time to visit lots of state primaries that are within the distance you could manage with work and have a really good look at what they can provide for your daughter.

Our private school is great with certain SEN which is why we chose it for DS. £4k a term including lunch. No school trips yet. Learning support included but not a 1:1 TA if needed.

secondhand uniform shop is £5 a jumper, £20 a blazer, £5 a tie.

other thing to consider is the soft costs- our year does £10 per birthday party as a fund and half goes to charity and half to the birthday child. Great idea in terms of waste but adds up quickly!

it’s the best thing we could have done for DS, but I’m not sure I’d be comfortable doing it for one child and not the other.