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Original poster

Massive school 25 min walk away vs tiny lovely school 1hr walk away??

102 replies

Mummywantsaweewee · 06/12/2021 10:16

Thinking about where to enroll my 2 y/o when the time comes. The school closest to me is a massive primary which combines 4 villages children in one. 25 minute walk to get there (uphill all the way so chances are it will take a bit longer than 25mins)
A bit further away is a lovely small school very similar to the one I attended as a child max 30 kids from reception to yr6. Am keen for my children to have the same experience as me, tiny school so like a second family but it is a bit further away, about an hours walk or 7 mins by car.
Am I mad to consider the one that’s an hours walk away? I’m sure kids walked that far or further in years gone by and I’m sure it will be a better school experience.

OP posts:

NiceTwin · 06/12/2021 11:04

I would go for a large school every time.
I don't know of one child who went to a tiny school who hasn't struggled with friendship yet has flourished when in high school.
It's a long time to be lonely if they don't make friends.

Hadenough21 · 06/12/2021 11:04

Personally I would see such a small school as a negative… they won’t have very many options for friends will they? What if they don’t really get on with the few kids close in age to them? Also high school will be a massive shock surely after such a tiny primary school. An hour is too long for young kids so if you go with that one I think you’d have to be ok with driving quite a lot. Tired kids after school really don’t want to walk for an hour and it’ll just add stress to your days and theirs.

Slayduggee · 06/12/2021 11:05

Am I correct in that the small school has approx 30 kids in total? So approximately 4 children per year group potentially? Whilst you went to a very small school it doesn’t mean that all small school are the same and your DC will have the same experience.

How big is the big school? How many children does it admit per year?

If your DC turns 3 before September 2022, then you would be looking at September 2023 entry. I would suggest that Sept/Oct/Nov 2022 that you go and look at the schools you may be interested in.

BoredZelda · 06/12/2021 11:08

it’s what happens when they forget their water bottle, PE kit etc etc. What about play dates?

Which happens with working parents all the time. They live without these things. My daughter never had an after school play date despite most of her friends living on our estate. Most parents around here work.

Fireatseaparks · 06/12/2021 11:08

I'm guessing you have a BMW if your car breaks down frequently enough for this to be a problem.

Remaker · 06/12/2021 11:08

I’d walk an hour each way to avoid a tiny school. It might have worked for you but they can be awful, small minded, insular places. I went to a tiny school and got stuck with the same tiny, horrible group of friends all the way through primary school. Life was sooo much better when I moved to a big secondary school.

My kids went to a big primary school, it was fantastic. Lots of opportunities for friendships, loads of different extra curriculars, lots of high achieving kids so they weren’t poked in a corner teaching themselves like I was. I really don’t understand why so many parents think that small schools are better.

But to answer your question, walking an hour is crazy. You’ll need to drive.

BoredZelda · 06/12/2021 11:09

I’m guessing you have a BMW if your car breaks down frequently enough for this to be a problem.

😆😆

DeeCeeCherry · 06/12/2021 11:12

I did that and spent the primary years regretting I hadn't just sent DCs to the (much nearer) bigger school. I think theyd have been happier at that school. I was relieved when secondary years arrived.

Smaller schools can be very cliquey not always a good thing, and you may well get a shock if you think it'll be like a 'second family' to your DC.

INeedNewShoes · 06/12/2021 11:13

How far is it in miles?

I chose the smaller school further away for DD.

It was a decision between infants school with 35 pupils in total which is 1.5 miles away vs. primary school with 350 pupils which is 10 minutes walk away.

I chose the smaller school and we walk the 1.5m whenever the weather's not awful and if we're not rushing off to an activity after school. In a hurry, we can do the walk in 35 minutes (I can walk it in 25 minutes on my own) and when we have time, DD will happily dawdle it in well over an hour!

On the grounds of the distance/walk it was a good decision. DD is one of those kids who needs exercise and I need exercise worked into my day as well.

I'm not sure I made the right decision on other fronts though. I thought the smaller school would be best for DD who is quite reserved in group situations but to be honest we've had a rocky term despite the small school and I wonder whether, at the bigger school, she might have been more likely to find that one really good friend who has the same interests as she does. The other children at DD's school are absolutely lovely and do their best to include her but she's an awkward so & so and often doesn't want to play the actual game they're playing. Maybe at the larger school there would have been another kid like her.

Comefromaway · 06/12/2021 11:17

I missed just how small the school is.

Go visit both but my gut instinct would be the bigger school.

Insert1x20p · 06/12/2021 11:18

Dm taught in a small school for a long time (slightly bigger- there were about 40 kids in total). It was lovely but she did say she had to watch friendships like a hawk and very much encourage "all play together" type games because there might just be 2 girls in Year 5& one in Year 6 and if two Year 5's were bff's then the Year 6 girl had no options. Also you have a teacher teaching over 4 year groups which is going to be challenging, and if the teacher and the child dont gel, they're potentially stuck with them for 4 years!! I'd go for the larger school.

porridgecake · 06/12/2021 11:25

Go for the nearer school. IME there are 2 major issues with the small school, the first being the walking in cold, dark, wet conditions, especially if you have a second child. The second being the limited pool of friendships. If you have a bullying problem you are absolutely stuffed, and if all the friends live an hour's walk away your child will have no social life/play dates.

Triffid1 · 06/12/2021 11:28

Unless you live on the motorway I'm also struggling to understand how a 7 minute drive translates to a 1 hour walk. But honestly, if your car breaks down, you make a plan.

Having said that, I'd go for the bigger school. Very big has drawbacks, yes, but too small has more. friendships are difficult, extra curricular is almost impossible etc. We sent the DC to a smallish school because the only other practical solution was a MASSIVE school and while, on balance, I think it's been fine, the downsides of the small school have annoyed me (and it's not even that small - 60 pupils per year group).

Original poster

Mummywantsaweewee · 06/12/2021 11:34

@Triffid1 I live in the middle of nowhere 😂😂

OP posts:

RobinPenguins · 06/12/2021 11:37

I would really worry about the long term future of a school with only 30 pupils in total, if that’s what you mean. How big actually is the other school, how many form intake?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/12/2021 11:39

I dont even know why you are quantifying the journey by foot at all.
It's a seven minute drive.
You have a car.

You cannot honestly have a car that breaks down so often that you would need to to a 4 hour round trip every day?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 06/12/2021 11:41

My children went a school four miles away for two years, fortunately by school bus.

One instance sticks in my mind... DH needed the car for work the same day as Parent Reacher Consultations. I cycled the half hour there, had a five minute meeting with a teacher, then cycled the half hour home.

TheVanguardSix · 06/12/2021 11:41

I have cycled with the kids for years. But then, I've been a cyclist myself for years.
Believe me, in the dead of winter, it'll challenge you to just get out there and haul ass but it is certainly doable when it's the only mode of transport there is. But it's a commitment.
I would absolutely, without a second thought, go for the closer school in your position, OP. Because my money is on you moving the kids from the small school to the bigger more local one down the line anyway. I did a similar haul. You can only sustain it for so long. You don't have any room for error with such a long school trek and that really gets to you over the years.

oneglassandpuzzled · 06/12/2021 11:42

@Triffid1

Unless you live on the motorway I'm also struggling to understand how a 7 minute drive translates to a 1 hour walk. But honestly, if your car breaks down, you make a plan.

It's an 1.5-hour walk to get into our local town. I can drive it in about 13 minutes. These kind of ratios are typical, for rural people.

I agree with you on smaller schools. They can work brilliantly but if they don't, your child is stuck with a handful of people they may not get on with. There were ten children in my eldest's year. Nine boys and one girl, poor thing.

megletthesecond · 06/12/2021 11:43

Bigger school. More friendship options, more extra curricular clubs and more staff.

InTheLabyrinth · 06/12/2021 11:44

How big is the bigger school?
I'd go for that (but then my kids friends went to a school with 300 per year- yes, at primary). There arexways to make a big school feel small.
You cannot get the big school feel and opportunities in a small school. That said, I think 300 per year is too big.
While a 30 pupil school can get amazing for a 4 or 5year old. It is stifling for an 11 Yr old.
Go closer, go bigger.

TheVanguardSix · 06/12/2021 11:45

And let's talk about punctures... you WILL have punctures and oh man, that is an utter bitch when you're freezing cold, in the middle of nowhere, with impatient, hungry, cold kids, and you're either trying to patch the tyre or more likely, traipsing along with this broken-down bike... oh it's the pits, OP.
At least if you cycle to the school 25 minutes away, a puncture isn't as devastating. You're not too far from home, whereas an hour each way is just too much.
There are, of course, puncture-proof tyres!

GoGoGretaDoll · 06/12/2021 11:48

I think you need to visit both schools and make a decision on what feels right for your DC. But you also have to be realistic: the one hour walk means you will always have to pick up and drop off (in the car). So that means you are essentially saying that you'll spend the next ten years of your life (as your DC isn't at school age yet) being available to do that in the car. Whereas an older DC could probably cycle the 20 minutes home easily enough without your input. Just something to think about.

Comefromaway · 06/12/2021 11:49

@TheVanguardSix

And let's talk about punctures... you WILL have punctures and oh man, that is an utter bitch when you're freezing cold, in the middle of nowhere, with impatient, hungry, cold kids, and you're either trying to patch the tyre or more likely, traipsing along with this broken-down bike... oh it's the pits, OP. At least if you cycle to the school 25 minutes away, a puncture isn't as devastating. You're not too far from home, whereas an hour each way is just too much. There are, of course, puncture-proof tyres!

Really? I have only ever had 1 puncture in 30 years of driving and that was when I was on holiday and drove over a nail on a dirt track.

EdgeOfTheSky · 06/12/2021 11:51

We found it an invaluable boost to quality of life to have local school friends.

How many classes per year group does the nearer school have? They still maintain the cosy feel within their own class.

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