If you chose private over a good or outstanding state school , why was that?

[JuliaBlackberry]

I'm not after a debate on state/private at all as I know the pros and cons and that a good school is dependent on more than just that.
I have moved back recently from abroad with my DC who have mostly been to international school. They are currently y2 and y4 for September. They go to a state primary in a nearby village which they attended for the summer term of last year and I find the school friendly, they seem happy. One DC had an excellent teacher, one not so much. It's Ofsted Good. For secondary we are in the catchment of a comprehensive that gets very good results in the county - it was rated Outstanding in 2017.
I am thinking, however, that I would like to send my DC to an independent high school anyway. I like the smaller classes, the greater extra -curricular opportunities and it's similarities to the international school they've been too. DD the elder child is a competitive swimmer and I know she'd love to swim for her school. I also like the idea that they will have interruption free learning. I'm a teacher and I've taught state, private and international so I have seen the whole spectrum.
But I can't shake the feeling that with an outstanding secondary nearby that I'd potentially be wasting my money. Anyone gone private over outstanding or very good comp?

@agost was that Cherwell?

@RacistAngst

I chose private because the so called outstanding school just wasn’t outstanding to me. Dcs are happier at the independent school. Nit really because of small classes etc… but because basically the level of disruptive behaviours is just not comparable.

FWIW dc2 inst competitive, isn’t in top sets etc.. BUT he finally has been accepted for who he is. A boy that doesn’t like football, talks little and generally doesn’t put himself forward. He is much happier and finally settled

This is very interesting, thanks. I have a DS who is very quiet, doesn't put himself forward and is the only boy in his class who doesn't enjoy football. It is him who I worry about a bit in the state system. DD is gregarious and able, and I suspect she would be okay but I know she would benefit from the extras. It's a bit alarming that an outstanding school can go 12-13 years without an inspection, having been away for several years I hadn't realised this. So much can change in that time.

@JuliaBlackberry as many posters have said, inspections aren’t really the right criteria to judge the school for what you want as a parent. My youngest is at a ‘good’ village primary school but in my eyes it is outstanding because it gives her what I want her to have - a stress free, outdoorsy, community based childhood where she can walk to school with friends and tumble out to the village playground afterwards.Ofstead doesn’t judge those things.
The only real way to get a feel for a Secondary school is to get to know the children that go there. We used babysitters for our children from the local sixth form, the grammar sixth form and the small private schools sixth form so we had a really good feel for the schools by talking to them and seeing their work ethic as to which ones bought work to do whilst the children slept!!! (as well as talking to parents but as a precious poster said you have to slightly read between the lines as it takes a very honest type of person to admit their child’s school isn’t all that!)

Previous not precious!

We had that outstanding, sought after state school on our doorstep and the church attendance to gain a place. We moved dd after Y8, largely due to poor behaviour that wasn't being managed or dealt with. The teaching did not correlate to the outstanding label either.

Mine will be going to the outstanding state.

The smaller classes I'd love at a private school, but not so keen on the hours and amount of activities expected at the schools we looked at. We'd prefer them to keep doing the bulk of their extra curricular activities out of school as it seems school becomes quite a bubble otherwise and that's not something we're keen on for our children.

We chose private over good state primarily for small class sizes, more individual attention and less disruptive behaviour in class.

We were also fed up with their state primary picking the same children every time to address assemblies/perform/ represent school etc who would do well and therefore reflect well on school.
At their private school if they want to give something a go they are encouraged and supported to try.

I don't think small classes are actually that important, and I don't really care about sporting facilities. For us it was the breadth of the curriculum and particularly languages. The things DD was interested in either weren't available in the state system (not even in a superselective grammar) or only available as a lunchtime club rather than as part of the curriculum.

I chose private schools over the outstanding local state selection, because the private school was internationally outstanding and a perfect fit for DS.

There are private schools and private schools. A private school is not necessarily better than the state option - outstanding or not. Then you have to work out which school is a better fit for your child. The best school in the world may not fit an individual child.

I am fortunate that my local state provision is exceptional. For my DS, the private school he attended was pretty perfect for him. I am doubly fortunate in being able to chose.
However, if it were a mediocre private school, I would have been more than happy with the state option

My dyslexic daughter just got better exam results (by a long way) than her privately educated friend. She worked very hard and her non selective state school is above average but not the best in the borough.

She really worked hard and the teaching was exceptional.
Her friend was in classes half the size and her parents spent over £150,000 on her fees.

I think you need to decide based on your personal circumstances. The only thing which would make me send my child privately would be if the only state school had awful results or wasn't in a safe area.

Things I prefer about the private school my child moved to:

• better communications. I know what he is supposed to be learning each week, and what he actually has learned. If I have a question or want to let a teacher know something, I can email them, and they will email back. The “outstanding” state school he went to had no weekly newsletter, refused to give out teachers’ emails and you couldn’t phone them either. The only way to communicate was by catching their eye and grabbing a few seconds at pick up, which was nigh impossible for working parents. And parent information meetings were usually convened at 2pm on a weekday, with 48 hours notice if you were lucky…

• taking reading more seriously. At the private school, every child in Y1 and Y2 gets to read to an adult every day. If they are ready to move up a level, they move up a level. At the “outstanding” state school, they were heard once a week, and only given the opportunity to move up a level once a term. Which led to a lot of bored and frustrated kids.

• they take games/PE seriously - three times a week for everyone. At the state school it was once a week if lucky, but more often than not it was cancelled because they wanted to use the school hall for (religious) masses or play rehearsals. Kids never got to blow off steam.

• better wrap around care. The private school before/after school clubs start almost immediately and they run regardless of how many kids sign up. The state school ones didn’t get going until two weeks into term, ended two weeks before the end of term, and often didn’t happen at all because not enough kids signed up.

• less bad food. The state school food procured centrally by the local council was the most disgusting stuff I’ve ever seen or smelt in my life. My son used to come home ravenous in a foul temper because he wouldn’t eat the lunches.

We moved our DS from an outstanding CofE village primary (80 children) to which they were able to walk across fields from our house. The school is consistently in the top 5 of the county for SATs at Y6, and is widely viewed as highly desirable. We did this because

1. Narrow focus on SATs curriculum and no apparent interest in anything that wouldn't be examined
2. Absence of male staff throughout the school, and a sense that the staff preferred girls
3. Very small year groups had gender fluctuations- the year above was almost all boys, DS year had very few boys
4. Lack of outside space or facilities. Aside from a small tarmac playground there was the village green but nothing else
5. Lack of sport, and lack of interest in sport. The major game played was netball, including for the boys.
6. The Head Teacher and School Administrator were horrible. No sense that they were providing a service. PTA DC were clearly favoured
7. The only musical offering was the recorder, no other instruments were taught.

DS went to a leading prep school in Y4 and on arrival placed at the top of the year group for literacy and numeracy because these had been technically very well taught at the state primary. But DS had fallen behind on extra-curricular subjects and still haven't recovered from lack of early access to sports even five years later. The broad based education that DS received in prep would have been inconceivable at the primary because its Head and staff were lit/num trainers rather than educators. Incidentally we were far from unusual in taking DS out of the state system from that school; there was an annual Y4 exodus.

We moved DS1 because he was not coping in our outstanding primary in the next street. He has ASD and is very anxious. His achievement and behaviour is good so he was ‘fine’. Except he started wetting himself, stammering, having panic attacks and having meltdowns at home. School denied any ‘problems’ in the classroom and I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. Teachers were just too stretched, too many kids with greater issues and too busy.

Moved to private and he has been 1000x happier. Our situation is of course not quite the ‘norm’.

We have noticed:
Calmer environment making it easier for everyone to learn
broader wider curriculum
more inclusion of everyone in music/drama/sport
no ability to coast or be under the radar
Teachers specialists in their subject as standard (my poor cousin is a KS2 teacher whose current school expect her to teach French, which she never studied at school and spoke about 3 words of, and music, when she has never learnt an instrument/couldn’t read music etc. I discovered this when she asked me to do zoom lessons on beginner music theory with her)

However, it is SO expensive.
Yes I am jealous of those with genius motivated kids who go to Cambridge from the local comprehensive…which is at least 50% here on mumsnet… but we aren’t all that lucky with our offspring!

My daughter is advanced and I knew a governor at the outstanding state primary whose dc was similar. She had to do loads outside of school with him as the school didn’t have the financial resources to stretch him. Good schools are typically good at stretching the top 10 percent of the ability range but not the top 1 percent due to budget limits. I sent her to an academically selective primary where the teaching was always at least 1 year ahead of the national curriculum and then further differentiated from there.

I think it was easier and more enjoyable for her and us and the extracurricular offering wouldn’t have been easy to replicate. Trying would have worn us out. We could have managed it though so it is a luxury.

I’m still deciding for secondary but for now it’s the right choice.