All girls schools, what was your experience?

[Girlsschoolsqs]

I grew up in another country where all-girls schools weren’t a concept, but I was always very fascinated when reading and hearing about them So if you went to an all-girls school, how was your experience?

And to put it into context, in what time period were you a pupil there? Was it a boarding school? Religious? Selective?

Have you sent your daughter to one, or would you when she’s older? Do you think all-girls schools are different today from what they were then? Do you think some children are more suited to single sex schools than others? Are there certain interests, talents or traits that would make someone more or less suited to your old school?

And for those who have a daughter in one right now, what are her thoughts?

Oh lol you think?

I went to an all girls’ school in the 90s. I would totally recommend it. My form was really nice. I think all girls’ school are generally pretty encouraging environments. We had quite a few class clowns who were really funny too.

However I feel very differently about all boys schools. I was friends with some arty, dweeby types at the all boys’ school. Most people I knew were unhappy there. The boys who flourished there were cocky, jock types. And the environment only accentuated the worst aspects of their characters so I don’t think it was good for them either.

Went to an all-girls public school in the 1970s and loved it! Main advantage is that you are free to study what you want without being discouraged from doing so by the staff or the boys. It gives you the self confidence and resilience to be able to cope with the ups and downs of life. Main disadvantage - having to do cookery and needlework (there were no technology-based subjects then) and it was very competitive and sometimes a bit cliquey. But it set me up for life.

Went to an all girls grammar in the 90s. Feel so-so about it. Very competitive and quite a lot of issues with eating disorders and anxiety. Plus side was that we never felt limited by the fact we were girls. Maths was the most popular A level subject (though I know it is nationally).

I teach at a mixed comprehensive now. I find there are equal amounts of disruption from a small minority of boys and girls. I think our girls are tougher than I was or had to be. But in my arts subject we struggle to get boys to take it at A level which is interesting and that has got worse in the last 5 years, but I wonder if that's related to higher charges for uni courses...

Went to a girls grammar in the 90s - very competitive and bitchy, I couldn’t wait to leave!

I then went to university and did engineering where the vast majority doing the course were boys and was infinitely happier

All girls state comp in the late 00s. I only went for sixth form, was in a mixed school prior to that. For me, it was a massive breath of fresh air and a relief, actually, to get away from boys. Much less disruption in class, never had to deal with harassment or worry about if you could see the barest outline of a nipple in my top when it was cold. Could talk about periods or UTIs openly.

I also think it was really valuable for me to see girls in every role. The head girl, the games captain, every sports team, the editor of the school paper, the debate team, everyone in maths class- they were all girls. There was never a question of whether or not something was “for” girls, because it all was.

My friends who had been there the whole time would say it was very bitchy and clique-y in years 9 and 10, but having been to a mixed school so were the girls there at that age, I just also had to deal with shitty teenage boys miming blowjobs at me

Daughter at single sex girls grammar after six years girls private with two years mixed in between. She prefers the all girls and suits her. Think it very much depends on the child. My second is in a mixed prep at also very happy and will probably go to a mixed grammar.

I went to an all girls, selective, Church of England school in another country in the 80s. I hated it for the elitism and snobbery. My closest friend was the girl who was always one step away from being expelled (I liked her because she was real). I don't have a daughter but if I did I wouldn't send her to one. I don't think it represents the real world.

I went to a catholic state school around 2000 onwards, I thought there were many benefits.

• No worries about make up/looking good
• Maths/science/woodwork etc weren't dominated by males
• No awkwardness about periods
• Being able to just hoik your tights up at any point of the day

It’s an interesting question. Of course most of us that went to all girls schools have nothing to compare with. I went to all girls from 9 (non selective until 12, then selective boarding). Apparently I’d been saying aged 6/7 that the boys got all the attention and were really naughty and annoying and I wanted to go to a just girls school. Secondary was a mixed experience. I think my problems came from boarding (and an unfortunate boarding house) rather than because it was all girls. We were competitive, but you had to do it effortlessly and pretend you didn’t care so we all worked secretly! I loved being in class and it never crossed my mind that I couldn’t or shouldn’t do something. I didn’t take physics a level because it wasn’t my strongest subject not because I didn’t think it was for girls. 30% of our year took CDT GCSE and we all got top grades - woodwork was definitely not just for boys. (Plenty took cookery and textiles too)

Socially again a mixed bag. My 3 closest friends are still from school. There was a boys school down the road and there were lots of mixed extra curriculum activities and we did general studies together in the sixth form. And we all had male friends and acquaintances out of school. I remember being really struck when we visited a local mixed school by the fact that the boys and girls still mainly sat in single sex groups and decided we weren’t missing anything by not having boys in the classroom. I thought about leaving for 6th form but the slightly toxic sexist attitude of the local co-Ed’s put me off so I stayed. I’d didn’t have problems mixing with boys at university - I got more frustrated by other girls deciding I would struggle with socialising based on that really annoying stereotype that girls in all girls school (particularly academic fee paying ones!) don’t know how to relate to boys. Bitchiness and cliques yes of course, but I’m not sure it was any worse than any other environment that has 100 14y old girls in it. Bullying again yes but clamped down on and not tolerated. Eating disorders a couple per year so probably about average for the the type of girl that got in.

Would I send DD to an all girls school? Yes, if she can get into the local grammar and wants to go but I won’t make her.

I went to an all girls grammar and left in 1992. Loved it and made some great friends. On the whole, not bitchy and a very "can do" ethos.

I don't really understand the struggling to relate to boys thing. I met boys outside of school and, as soon as I got to university, whether you went to a single sex or mixed school didn't matter and you had years ahead of you to widen your friendship group.

The profession I worked in was also very predominantly male (I think there were 3 women in an office of 100). I have probably have as many male friends as female so I don't feel scarred for life by going to a single sex school...

For me, I just didn’t meet boys out of school (except for having a younger brother). I did have hobbies but they mainly had girls doing them. There was a local boys school but almost nothing was done to encourage mixing by either school. I very much viewed boys as another species. I am aware of course that they are not but that’s how I felt at the time. I’m absolutely fine with men now but it took me two - three years to be comfortable with talking to them. It didn’t scar me for life but it severely impacted my development. I couldn’t wait to get out.

I went to an all girls grammar in the 1970s and loved it. My DM went to a similar one in the 1950s and DD is just finishing 6th Form. So three generations.

I could be as daft and geeky as I wanted without judgement. No more bitchiness than my friends suffered a the local mixed school. And lots of us did Physics / Chemistry / Maths. Same for DD.

When I went to a mixed sixth form there were only 3 of us doing physics in a class of 30. Very different atmosphere. Competitive rather than supportive.

Plus, in a girls school, none of the sexual harassment that has been in the news recently.

Why do you want to know @Girlsschoolsqs? Very specific name.

I went to an all girls boarding school from 13-18 in the 80s. It was far bitchier than the mixed school I came from with far less pastoral care, all about getting grades. Quite a few eating disorders etc. But I do have amazing friends from that time and did get good results. I wasn't interested in sciences but could have done them had I wanted to.
DD1 is about to go to secondary and has a slight preference for mixed but will probably end up at the local girls state school as it is more academic than the local mixed schools. She is on the waiting list for a mixed grammar so am not really choosing her school based on mixed/single sex as much as which is the best fit academically.

Thanks for your replies! I'm not a journalist, but I'm curious and want to learn more about the topic, both to satisfy my curiosity(I must admit) and if I should consider it for my own child at a later stage. As there wasn't any girls schools where I grew up, I only learned about it from books and movies, and it's good to hear about different aspects of the real life experience.

As I've understood, some parents are very pro or against girls schools in general, and some just like the ethos or exam results of one particular school which happens to be an all girls school.

I went to 2 girls schools in the 80's- 1 comprehensive & 1 grammar- both pretty horrible experiences- very catty and I grew up not really know how to relate to boys.

I went to an all girls state comprehensive in the 1970s. I hated it. I left primary as a very social child, equally comfortable with boys as with girls. 5 years barely speaking to anyone of the opposite sex, except my father and brother, left me incapable of having normal sensible dealings with boys for years. I suppose puberty might have done this to me anyway, but I blamed being segregated from boys during those formative years.

I made sure all my children went to a mixed secondary school.

Mixed primary then Girls boarding school. I had a good time - no pressure to look good/make-up/relationships (a few people did have boyfriends while at school which they saw at weekends/holidays but not the norm). A few people left at 6th form to go to co-Ed school. I didn’t know boys outside school, so was a bit nervous at uni. I don’t think i was socially more or less prepared than my husband that was co Ed all the way though. I think different kids suit different schools.

I went to one Grammar, early 2000s. There were cliques and bitchiness but it was tolerable. I'm aiming for DD to go the other one I'd have liked to go to. Given how teenagers are around here I think Grammar schools really are worlds apart from other secondary schools nearby and I'd rather she went to one similar but better scoring than mine.

Dd went to one between year 9 and year 11, so three years. It was small and non selective. She found it overall a great experience but wouldn't go for sixth form.

On balance the boys thing for her wasn't an issue as she had been in mixed schools all her life and has two brothers. So plenty of boys around etc..

Having had children at different schools I would always advise to start with an open mind as children cha ge a lot in terms of what they need, and schools can change a lot too, so its not a bad thing to change now and then. This would also make the task of choosing less daunting.

There were pros and cons. I think we felt less self conscious about speaking up in class, there were fewer stereotypes in terms of which subjects were girly, less pressure to look a certain way in school.

A lot of girls became overly obsessed with boys as we didn't have as much exposure, some girls definitely didn't know how to interact with boys (although I think this diminished once they got out of school). I think there was more pressure in some ways as girls became competitive amongst each other, definitely quite a lot of catty behaviour.

I went to a state girls school (which no longer exists sadly). I absolutely loved it there, had fantastic friends, came out my shell, experienced no bullying or bitchiness. Still many friends from school a long time later!
I would send my DD to an all girls school if the opportunity arose as for me it was such a positive experience.

I went to a selective girl’s’ school in the 90s.
It was academically driven with a strong emphasis on sports, music and art. I was below average academically in my year group and terrible at sport, music and art, but I enjoyed a lot about the school. I don’t think it was extremely bitchy. There were cliques and cool girls which I was definitely not a part of, but I wasn’t bullied. There was self-harm and eating disorders but I don’t know how much more than in a mixed school. Socially, I left with no experience of boys, had never had boyfriends or friends who were boys despite there being a boys’ school linked with my school and situated next to it. I then went to university to study a degree that was very strongly female.
My DD1 is in year 5 now, and, strangely, where we now live a lot of the state high schools are single sex (we cannot afford private school but these are mostly single sex here too). She is horrified at the thought as she doesn’t get on with the other girls in her class now and her only friends are boys.