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Original poster

Pulling child out of primary school

45 replies

mama1987 · 09/02/2021 12:01

We have just recently moved house as we wanted somewhere bigger with space to grow. We have a 3 year old and will be trying for baby number 2 soon. Unfortunately we didn’t consider secondary education too much for reasons I now can’t fathom. Now I’m worrying, as looking at the nearest secondary it’s rated good by ofsted but doesn’t have the best reputation. I worry that we will have to move house again to be near good secondary schools. As we’ve only just moved we can’t move again, but I worry about pulling our little boy out of primary school in 4 years or so to attend a more local one once moved. It concerns me that we would be tearing him away from friends and he might struggle to settle. Am I worrying over nothing? What are other people’s experiences? In hindsight we would have bought a house with good proximity to both primary and secondary schools, but clearly can’t go back in time!

OP posts:

Creamcrackersandricecakes · 09/02/2021 13:51

Oh, and don't get too hung up on where their friends are going - it's totally normal for kids to go off to any number of different secondaries after Yr6. DD didn't know anyone at her new school, most of the kids didn't. She made friends easily, (and still keeps in touch with her old primary school buddies too).

Original poster

mama1987 · 09/02/2021 13:58

That’s nice to hear. I was also concerned about him leaving behind his primary school friends when he goes up to secondary as they will most likely be going to the local one. We live in a small city so no school is that far in miles but it can get heavily congested quickly, so takes an age in a bus/car when really it should only take 10 minutes or so to get anywhere!

OP posts:

FKATondelayo · 09/02/2021 14:08

By having a good community 'spirit' means support etc can be given to the secondaries. Community/Parental support can sometimes mean things can be changed.

Exactly this: we got a new secondary built because of the pushy parent community round here!

kafkasmotorbike · 09/02/2021 14:11

Hmm, I have a slightly different view from some of the other posters on here. First, although I absolutely agree that any school can change significantly in the space of a few years, I would still ideally want to feel like I had a selection of options that my child could a) get a place at and b) get transport to. And on the distance thing, I think 2 miles is actually quite a long way. Yes, of course a healthy teenager should be able to walk that quite easily - but I find that DS is frequently carrying a heavy rucksack full of work stuff, a sports bag for games and a musical instrument as well. That really wouldn't be much fun to lug two miles on a regular basis. Schools will differ in how much you need to take in each day, but I don't think you can assume it won't be much. So although two miles is fine if you can get a bus (most people round here pay for a bus pass for secondary), I would think twice if there's no other transport option. And, if you do decide to move house, then the earlier the better in terms of disruption to your children.

bonbonours · 09/02/2021 14:14

Our primary school is just under a mile away and takes us maybe 15 minutes so I wouldn't say 1.3 miles is a 30 minute walk. 2 miles for secondary is really close, my kids travel 6 miles. 2 miles on a bike would be nothing.

cautiouscovidity · 09/02/2021 14:18

With all respect, a school can change so much in the 7-8 years you've got before you need to worry about this. A change of leadership / staff will make a huge difference to the ethos and reputation of the school. It might become an academy or if it already is, the structure of that academy trust might change. Who knows?!
Seriously, focus on the next few years. And if you decide to move your child to another school, they'll be fine. Loads of kids move in and out of schools all the time.

Retrievemysanity · 09/02/2021 14:27

I wouldn’t worry at the moment. We are in the process of moving for secondary school but we aren’t moving far so DD who is in Year 5, will be able to stay at her current primary. It’s unlikely that she will have any of her primary friends with her at secondary but tbh I think they tend to make new ones at that stage anyway. If I were you, I’d revisit the question when your youngest is year 4/5.

TheDaydreamBelievers · 09/02/2021 14:54

I moved just prior to secondary to go to a better school and it was totally fine. It was a good idea to move so I was in the feeder primary for a year before 2ndary as that meant I had pals when moving to the new school

Original poster

mama1987 · 09/02/2021 15:08

I’d be happy for DS to go on a bus 2 miles to school - are there special rate bus passes you can get?

OP posts:

CyclesPerfecta · 09/02/2021 15:10

He is only 3 and you are already planning walking routes to his secondary? Relax a bit, live for the moment, I think you are overthinking it a bit. So much can (and will) change in 7 years. Enjoy your new house and create some beautiful memories instead.

RedskyBynight · 09/02/2021 15:15

@mama1987

I’d be happy for DS to go on a bus 2 miles to school - are there special rate bus passes you can get?

It depends where you live
Who knows, in 8 years' time. Not even the bus companies do.
He might prefer to walk/cycle to school with friends anyway.
You really don't need to plan how he'll get to a future school just yet. There is planning ... and then there is planning ad absurdium.

RedskyBynight · 09/02/2021 15:17

It concerns me that we would be tearing him away from friends and he might struggle to settle.

DD went up to secondary school knowing about 100 children and with about 15-20 that she would have loved to have been in her class. Guess how many were? Yes, zero. She made a new group of friends and didn't look back.

Wearethetwirl · 09/02/2021 15:46

My judgment is forever affected by the fact that in my secondary school a lot of girls knew each other from juniors and were already in cliques. These pretty much stayed for the 5 years. I made friends with the few that did not know anyone.

kafkasmotorbike · 09/02/2021 16:26

Doesn't seem odd at all to me to be thinking this far ahead, but then I live in an area with crazily oversubscribed schools and tiny catchments. I know plenty of people who wish they'd thought about secondary options much earlier (often people who opted for lovely village primaries then realised they weren't close enough to get into any of the decent secondaries). And the primaries are really oversubscribed as well, so moving in-year can be a bit of a nightmare (particularly with more than one child). I don't think it's silly at all to be thinking about moving somewhere with a good primary nearby, that's near enough to be likely to get into a couple or more decent secondaries, and that's on bus routes for secondary. But your area might be very different from mine OP. And you might already be in this position, if your two-mile-away secondaries aren't too oversubscribed and there are buses available. Can you chat to parents locally who have older children? They should be able to give you chapter and verse on all this.

Soontobe60 · 09/02/2021 16:32

The secondary school determination does not depend on which primary school you attend in the main. It depends on where you live. You can put your child into a primary school, move house later to be nearer a better secondary school but keep them in the same primary. However, 7 years is a long long time in Education!!

Floridaflipflops · 09/02/2021 16:39

Children are a lot more resilient than people give them credit for.

I moved dd1 in year 9 secondary as her class was dreadful. She did really well and was glad I moved her in the end.

I moved dd2 who was in year 2 in the first lockdown, it was a private school but wasn’t pushing her academically. She started y3 in September at her new prep and the teachers said she fitted in as if she’d always been there, she has made lots of friends and is happy.

cautiouscovidity · 09/02/2021 19:22

@mama1987

I’d be happy for DS to go on a bus 2 miles to school - are there special rate bus passes you can get?

Unlikely. Generally if the school is less than 3 miles away, they expect secondary aged kids to walk.

namesnamesnamesnames · 09/02/2021 19:26

I wish our nearest school was only two miles away my daughter would love to cycle instead of getting on a bus.

Having said that, I agree that schools can change dramatically over time.

Starlightstarbright1 · 09/02/2021 19:28

From when my Ds started primary, the secondary school has had 2 new heads each an improvement on the one before.

The next closest with a better reputation my Ds would not fit in their at all. I would not have known this in reception

Dustyhedge · 22/02/2021 05:58

I’ve looked up my old school and it was 2.8 miles away and we had a bus route. (Although had to pay). I had one of the shortest journeys. I had friends there had hour plus bus rides. I think you’re really overthinking if you’re worried about 2 miles. That really is nothing for secondary although catchments might be a different thing.

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