Are we a bit naive?

[unicorn]

Just had dd parents' evening (yr 1) and me and dh have come away rather chastised.
I don't think we have been adequately prepared for the work involved in yr 1 (let alone dd- who's 5!)
Eg. didn't expect the mathematics knowledge to be quite so.. advanced.. really I guess.
So, the long and short of it is, we now know dd isn't quite as briliant as we otherwise thought!!

But it would have helped if we she/and we parents had been prepared a little better for the work of yr 1.. either via something at the end of reception, or a curriculum meeting at beginning of yr 1.

I guess we are supposed to find this out for oourselves though?

thanks ailsa, dd is/has been keen ( we are trying not to bombard her with too much maths now!!) and I am sure she will be ok.. I just want to make sure that her early 'enthusiasm' isn't dampened.

With this current teacher focusing on what she CAN'T do.. her confidence may be knocked.

btw..
My sister is a teacher and was appalled when I told her about the open evening.
She says (as with work appraisals) parents should Never be told things that will come as a shock...

• you should start with positive, move on to what needs improving, and end on an up.

Wish dd's teacher had my sister's attitude!

I think the letter is fine Unicorn. Agree with the omission suggested by pixiefish.

Good luck.

Unicorn, can I ask whether your goal with this letter is just to let the head know you're dissatisfied, or whether you actually want a response? And if the latter, whether you want a response in the form of dialogue about/help for your daughter specifically, or an improvement more generally in the school's communications with parents?

What you say at the moment expresses your position very clearly and effectively, but it doesn't really invite a response - or even leave the way open for one. So I suspect you might not get one - and then you might feel even more grumpy wiht the school... Perhaps you could finish by saying something about the kind of response you're after?

good point HF..

I guess I am suggesting that for future yr 1 parents the school has a curriculum meeting(or just a 'welcome to yr 1', this is what we will be doing + how you can help type meeting) in advance.

I suppose I also want the head to know that this teacher has been particularly negative.. and we are annoyed with her 'style'.

In terms of a response, Can't really say I am anticipating anything, the school is notoriously bad at communicating with parents.

For eg...
I put a question into the AGM last summer (about after school clubs)and have not had an answer yet!

eek.. we have been summoned to the Headteacher's office for a meeting tomorrow.

Help!! feel like a naughty schoolgirl!
Any top tips?

i swear i can stand in front of 50 people to give a presentation but get me in the office with a teacher and i turn into 6 years old again!

my top tip would be to write your questions down - if indeed you do go all mushy you may forget what you wanted to ask. take a pen and paper and write things down - if you dont get an answer use the broken record technique which is to repeat the question without re wording it until you get a satisfactory answer. i aslo have no shame at all of saying " i dont understand" your last statement or comment. which forces the other person to think of another way of re wording.

Is the meeting with the Head only or will the class teacher be there?

I would also prepare a list. Did you ever get to see the test paper? If so I would take it along. Be specific - are you there to express concerns about the teacher or to discuss your daughter's progress? I often find with similar meetings that the Head has it all worked out and almost shuts off when she's had her say. Taking notes often focusses attention (always works with doctors) and perhaps you could follow up the meeting with a letter to reaffirm the points made.

Good luck.

I think meeting is just with head...
I imagine it won't be dealing with the teacher issue, more the fact that I have requested yr 1 curriculum information/meeting/newsletter.
I guess this is also her attempt to 'communicate' as per ofsted recommendation 2000!!

Thanks for the advice!

Hope it goes well Unicorn. Sometimes teachers and Heads are a bit out of touch with parents' point of view and concerns. I hope the meeting helps to redress that a bit in your school.

I'm sure you will, but please try to come across as an interested and involved parent, attempting to be supportive of the school, rather than confrontational. If they feel overly criticised they may just back off and be very defensive; but if you stress the "all on the same side working towards same goals" then hopefully it could result in some positive progress which will help your dd later on in her school career, and other children and parents too.

Hi all, just a quick update.

~The meeting with head went well, she apologised re the parents evening and said it is supposed to be a celebration of our children, so we shouldn't have been left feeling downhearted.

Re the curriculum issue she says they are working on a web site (curriculum mapping she called it i think) which will outline what is going on in he classroom, and when this is up and running things will be clearer.

I reiterated my point about communication issues, and how I felt that we parents (particularly new ones to the school) were left to just find out things, or it was assumed we already knew procedures etc.
I suggested a few things, which she listened too... (improve the school noticeboard with relevant year information... etc)

Anyway it was fairly positive, and although I did feel like a naughty girl, I don't think I made too much of an idiot of myself...

Thanks everyone...

Sounds very positive unicorn: I hope they do act on your comments.
Thanks for the update