Cost of private schools - the extras

[lilC]

Hi, we are considering private school for DD, in particular at Caterham Prep or Banstead Prep. Want to know from those who have kids in private schools, how high are the cost of add ons ontop of the fees? Do the schools tend to require a lot of extras, schedule trips etc build up in cost. Trying to understand whether we could afford the commitment. Thanks for those who can help.

Second hand anything really isn’t a stigma at these schools and mine certainly has a thriving market plus the sort of parents who are constantly offering stuff up on WhatsApp.

I don’t think the extras are that bad really but mine are in prep. Yearly trip skiing £1000 music lessons £250’a term etc.

One thing that irritates me is the fact that fundraising is completely aimed at filling the schools coffers with shit like embroidered rugby kit where most private schools help the community around them. Mine doesn’t.

I would also add that the initial outlay for uniform for us was £1000 per child.

They weren't very nice people, Fortunes, what on earth did these people say.? You get them in every environment. I don't remember any mothers making bitchy comments to me but I wasn't one to engage in banal chit chat anyway.

I think probably we were in a similar situation to you, we certainly weren't well off, didn't have much and husband's first business went bust. We did go on holiday once a year but very modest. However my son had a great time, always had friends round and went out. It didn't seem to bother him that we had little money and I had my job to escape to, that gave me confidence. I never felt inferior in any way.

These things pass. Your daughter is doing well, that's what matters.

Depends on the school. DC started at a prep school and I got second hand uniform for both for £500. We relocated and the new school cost £1200 each . Music and drama lessons are about £300 term per instrument plus hire. There is one school trip a year, so far not expensive. You need to be comfortable around uber wealthy people, but I'd also say the showiness is very school dependent. Our DC started at a London prep with a lot of very wealthy but 'normal' and not showy families - mostly 2 working parents in high income jobs. At their current school (not London) the showiness and entitlement is unreal. There are very few children who's parents are actually paying the fees from hard earned cash - its all family money or grandparents paying. The attitude to education and learning is hugely different and the entitlement filters down to the children.
As a PP also experienced, the school generally only fundraises for itself, which I find morally repugnant.

DD's school extras are just uniform - which is about £600, the bus - £400/term and music lessons. Trips are extra, but they don't have many.
DS2's school is the same, except trips are included and there's no bus!

The main costs as a PP said is that the fees increase both annually and as you go up the school. If you have a decent state school nearby and are worried about fees, I'd just try that first.

We are in Yorkshire
Extras a few hundred a year apart from holidays - ski trip was about £700 but paid on installments over 6 months
Most people drive nice but ordinary cars, such as BMWs or Audi’s. There are a few Tesla’s and Rolls Royces but definitely the minority.
Most houses I have seen are nice but not mansions, again there are a couple of huge ones but not many. Some kids have flash holidays nobody cares and a week in Tenerife is perfectly acceptable. Designer labels are seen as a bit naff
Most parents are teachers, accountants, have their own business or similar. We have a nice but slightly shabby 4 bed detached house, a very old BWW and a Toyota and I feel we fit in fine

Oh, and the uniform is about the same as the other local Secondaries

I teach at an independent senior school and send my DCs to our prep. DH is a vet so we have 2 good professional incomes and a good staff discount but most families there have much more money than us!

At our school in the SW, there are no extra costs really - in fact, as the before and after school care is included, that costs us less than it would do to have a child minder etc. My two both have music lessons and my daughter does ballet and judo, both at school, which we pay for. They both swim for free at school and have access to a range of after school clubs.

As for mixing with more wealthy families, it doesn’t have to be a problem. We see it as an opportunity to talk about the fact that lots of people have more money than us and lots of people have less. That’s not a bad life lesson.

Mine joined at 11 and went to state for primary, as did quite a large proportion. Entry to the senior school was competitive and via a 11+ exam. We’re certainly not rich and fit in fine, lots of the mothers work and there are people quite far apart on the wealth spectrum, although very few / none are poor. The kids seem totally oblivious to this when choosing friends, even as older teens. Apart from the initial outlay for uniform (mine is still wearing year 7 blazer in year 11 and the second hand shop does a roaring trade) and fee increases (which are significant, up to 3% pa) there are very few extras, the occasional cheap trip and some optional overseas trips (not many attend the latter although the ski trip was sold out quickly). You have to pay for GCSE and A level exams, which seems very unfair. It does cost a lot of money in total though and not to be entered into lightly.

At our child's prep the families are generally not showy. Most have nice houses and cars but none are nobs about it.

Uniform can be pricey and changes at y1 and y3, which is irritating, but there is a good second hand shop. Lunches are about £250 a term and are compulsory. Very few other extras so far in prep.

As others have said, it is the annual increases you need to watch out for. They can be pretty brutal.

I'd budget fees based on 4% p.a. fee increase.
As PPs mention, senior school fees are more, so if 6k a term today, when your DD starts you could assume 8-9k a term from Year 7 onwards

I'd add lunches, uniforms and extra curriculars (that depends on your situation, e.g. music, wraparound care) and transport (e.g. car, school bus) - you could budget a smaller inflation like 1% for these. Big trips are optional.