So there we were, in a nice quiet exhibition of ancient manuscripts, when in comes a class from an East-End primary school with barely a white English child among them...

[frogs]

...and they were the most delightful group of children I have encountered, possibly ever. It was the SACRED exhibition at the BL, with loads of ancient religious books from Christianity, Judaism and Islam, very low lighting, and packed (it closes next week) with educated upper-middle class oldies (the demographic dh and his colleagues call "Silver Scholars"). You get the picture.

There was a bit of an initial shudder when a classful of kids piled into this rarefied setup, but they were just so fab -- interested, enthusiastic, polite, working beautifully on the tasks they'd been set, that quite a lot of the visitors stopped looking at the exhibits and watched the kids instead. We go to quite a lot of exhibitions, and encounter a lot of school groups, state and private, and it's rare to encounter a class you think is so great that you wish your own child could join.

I just wanted to share the warm fuzzy feeling, really, and offer it up as an antidote to some other threads.

I agree with oo

I don't think otherwise OO.

I did read this and think "oh if the op had said barely a black child amongst them it would have kicked off but to say that these children were not white and well behaved is acceptable, as if white children cant behave"

Then I thought "how nice they were well behaved, it would be nice to send a letter to school im sure the children would be very proud"

Hell its so much easier to be Mrs Angry but so much nicer to try to see the positive in things.

But part of the reason the OP was feeling please was because she EXPECTED them to be badly behaved, and they WEREN'T.

My question is, why did she expect black/brown kids to be badly behaved?

Remeber everyone is entitled to their opinion even if they are different.
Don't shoot someone down for ahving a differing opinion to the masses
[tries to pour oil on troubled waters emotion]

frogs's (frogs'??? ) post at 11.12 explains the title perfectly - nothing patronising about her anecdote, just having a go at DM-type attitudes, I was glad to read it.

Pls read OP's 11.12 post!!!!

ijust want to know i fhte thread wouldhave even started if it had been a private school of white children

agree with bluejelly 100%

I don't think for one moment frogs expected them to be badly behaved because of their ethnicity...I fully appreciate that that was, as she says, 'an antidote to some other threads'. It has to be taken in context. Of tyhe fact that many parents do seem wary of schools with a high ratio of children who are not like thier own....

But Frogs, I feel pretty sure that many of the kids were, in fact, English (given the long-etsblished nature of the bengali community in E London)!

I dont think the op expected them to be badly behaved because of their ethnic origin but because they are boisterious children in an environment where they needed to be quiet.

I took it in an antidote to other recent threads/anti DM sort of spirit too.

Of course, you are all right. No one should ever specifically mention that anyone from an ethnic mionority has done anything good. We should ensure that the only mentions of anyone of colour occur in the tabloids when talking about clutures being swamped, gang warfare on our streets, oooh did you hear about all the benefits going to immigrants, etc., etc.

Because, clearly, to make the tiniest effort to redress tha balance and say that that is crap is bad and wrong and patronising.

Assuming that the OP must have meant that she expected black or brown children to be badly behaved isn't at all patronising, mind you. Oh no.

Would the OP relate the anecdote in exactly the same way to a black or asian friend though?

Including the reference to the fact that these kids weren't english?

Frogs said "There was a bit of an initial shudder when a classful of kids piled into this rarefied setup, but they were just so fab"

"I just wanted to share the warm fuzzy feeling, really, and offer it up as an antidote to some other threads."

Oh dear now its being turned into one of "those" threads.

Sorry I feel a bit bad for raining on her parade...
Anything which undermines DM attitudes is obviously a good thing. But I just think she could've chosen her words better.

Sorry if that comes across as patronising...

OH FFS!!!

There is no point posting on this fucking forum any more!

Frogs, see you soon in RL. I knew what you meant.

?

As I understand it, Frogs specifically mentioned the ethnic origin of the children to make a further point about the recent thread in which someone complained that their white child was an ethnic minority in the class. It was a further dig at that attitude, not a further example of it.

The OP was quite clear that it was children that were being shuddered at, not black children.

Calm down dears!

That's how I read it too DG.

Frogs I get what you meant too. I think it's important to be able to see the spirit of what was meant rather than jump on it as patronising, because otherwise we come to a point where people are so frightened of even raising issues of ethnicity in any way at all, and that can do nobody any good in the long run, leading only to further distance between groups and the inevitable misunderstandings due to lack of information/sensible discussion.

I didnt mean my last post as critcism of frogs (not sure who dinosaur was ffs at - but just in case)

I can see why people could take offence but I really dont see why they would bother to - Frogs was trying to share a nice experience why the hell not just take it as that instead of being pedantic all the time.

i find it sad that people 'shudder' when children enter a room. whatever colour they are

Having read the thread on the "only white child in the class" (Who wasn't actulaly white as her father was mixed race ) I can see exactly where Frogs is coming from.

And do write to the school.

I still regret not finding out which senior school a few kids on the bus when I was pg with DS2 were from. They were so courteous and polite, offering up their seats and "playing" with DS1 and I always meant to find out which school they attended so I could write and say how well behave they were....

not at you, contentiouscat