Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Boarding schools - is anyone for them?

62 replies

mwamwa · 18/09/2007 11:05

We live in S London and I have a son aged 8 and a DH who says that his prep boarding school days were the 'best of his life'. Tomorrow I am going to look at a boarding school to possibly send DS to next year. Not having done boarding myself it all seems very alien but I can also see the benefits. DS is not accademic and is desperately keen to go - he has a vivid imagination and sees it all as a huge adventure! I have heard all the negatives (he is state educated at the moment) but can anyone give any positive views to boarding.

OP posts:

duchesse · 18/09/2007 12:25

Such as this one: www.stmichaelsteiner.wandsworth.sch.uk/

Bit steep price-wise (out here in Devon we pay for a year what Londoners pay for a term) but looks quite nice really.

Original poster

mwamwa · 18/09/2007 12:27

Great comments, Floaty.

OP posts:

MrsMarvel · 18/09/2007 12:27

Out of interest, is your ds's specialist school on his statement and paid for?

My dd has SN also.

Original poster

mwamwa · 18/09/2007 12:28

No offence but I don't think I'm a Steiner believer.

OP posts:

duchesse · 18/09/2007 12:34

Oh, don't worry, I am not either. I know that they really really suit some (quite a lot) of children. Mine go to a school that is frequently confused with a Steiner, although it aims high academically, merely because it allows them a lot of outdoors play. ( www.bendarroch.co.uk ) I cannot comment on boarding at that age as not much of my experience of it (seeing friends' children go at 8, 9 and 10) is positive.

Drusilla · 18/09/2007 12:41

I have no experience of boarding school myself but DH is in the forces and I know an awful lot of people who did board as they had parents in the forces. I've yet to meet anyone who had a bad experience (which surprised me a lot). You could try putting this in the Forces scetion - a lot of people still board their children for continuity of education

hanaflower · 18/09/2007 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chopchopbusybusy · 18/09/2007 12:55

Spawnchorus-I found your comments interesting. My SIL went to boarding school and although I don't dislike her there is something about her that makes me uncomfortable in her company at times. Having seen your comment then I would say icily unemotional describes her perfectly. She would disagree with the other part of your post though as she says that she got all the bad behaviour out of her system at boarding school (mainly alcohol and boys I think) and by the time she got to university she was relatively well behaved.

Re the OP. I can't imagine either of my DDs would want to go to boarding school but I think all you can do is go along and have a look. As long as your DS knows if he doesn't like it he can leave after say - two terms.

floaty · 18/09/2007 13:12

It is not on his statement because he doesn't have one to everyones disbelief.Our LEA will do anything to avoid giving statements for dysparaxia et al and in the end we got fed up and we are just doing what we can ourselves,we are very lucky that we can afford to do this ,it makes my blood boil that it is so difficult to get the support.

However,there are a number at the school who are statemented and do get some of their fees paid (not from our LEA though!)

frogs · 18/09/2007 13:54

The Hall School, Wimbledon? Emanuel? Both meant to be good but not superpushy. And aren't there a couple of similar setups in Putney?

TheQueenOfQuotes · 18/09/2007 13:57

oh I had a absolute ball at boarding school - but I was a little older. The youngest in the boarding house was 10yrs old although she'd been at the school since she was 6....but stayed with the headmaster and his family until she was 10. I (personally) wouldn't send my child to boarding school much before 10yrs old unless there was a really good reason for it (in this case the girl in question was - and still is - an extremely talented cellist and living in the north of Scotland she wasn't able to develop her skills).

Original poster

mwamwa · 18/09/2007 14:31

Thanks Frogs - am checking out Emmanuel next Tuesday as they have an Open Afternoon. Will look at the Hall. Anchovy - any chance of listing your top 3 non pushy private South London day schools?

OP posts:

katwith3kittens · 18/09/2007 14:36

My Dcs attended a prep school where upon entering the main school in year 4 there was an option to board. For us that was not an option and so we made the decision to move them both into schools in the city.
Academically and socially the children on the whole (I assume) loved it.

Its horses for courses. We were very well connected for a couple of years, but I am happy with the decision we made.

Ettenna · 18/09/2007 15:47

I teach in one. TBH I wouldn't send my child to one - too many of them develop a kind of false bravado that some misinterpret as confidence. I cannot believe that at somelevel a child doesn't feel rejected.

EHM · 18/09/2007 16:00

I would miss my dd too much to even think about it. Good Luck with your search for the best school for you ds.

AramintaVanHamstring · 18/09/2007 16:04

Mine go to a boarding school as day pupils. The 7yo boys who do board all seem to fight the whole time, real fist-fights. Nits are rife. The girls seem to have tangly hair in the mornings.

The older children seem to have a lovely time and are often on the beach or in the park at the weekends doing very well organised stuff.

I think the little ones are too young really.

curiouscat · 18/09/2007 16:13

'I cannot believe that at some level a child doesn't feel rejected.' This line doesn't have to apply for older kids. I boarded from 13-18 (parents posted abroad) and loved it. Most of my friends were the same. It was better than changing school every 2 years with every posting which is what happened pre-13.

Met my dh there and my best friends. It was a boys' school which took just a few girls so it was great fun and set me up for a male dominated university

curiouscat · 18/09/2007 16:19

Forgot to mention that greedy schools have increased their fees way beyond inflation in the last 20 years so it's a much bigger proportion of our income than it was for our parents, many of whom were subsidised by their companies.

I also know that having gone to boarding school you are independent from your family, gain a nice privacy if you like, but an intimacy is lost which isn't regained imo.

Cammelia · 18/09/2007 17:04

Oh I don't know curious cat re intimacy, I was unintimate with my family when I was 13 and I didn't board. My brother boarded from age 11 and he was always pretty intimate with my parents. I think it can be a personality thing.

Agree re prices though, they are terrible.

Anchovy · 18/09/2007 17:09

What are you looking for 8-11, or going on from 8/9 all the way through to leaving?

You can contact me by following the instructions for "Contact a Mumsnetter" right up on the top bar (don't want to put my email here as I only have my work one in my full name), but am happy to discuss through what I know of schools in the area.

CountessDracula · 18/09/2007 17:12

dh's father sent him to boarding school for the same reason - he had a fantastic time, as did his brother, his grandfather had been to the same school and also loved it.

DH hated it

He says that going to prep school was one of the most horrific things that ever happened to him. His relationship with his father has never recovered really, he couldn't understand how his sisters could stay in London and go to day school while he was packed off.

In retrospect he said prep school was quite fun (once over the initial trauma) but when he got to big school he hated every minute of it.

I boarded a couple of times, short-term. It was like being in prison.

scienceteacher · 18/09/2007 17:30

My DS loved boarding at his prep school.

poppysocks · 18/09/2007 17:36

I think it totally depends on the child and the whole family situation. My parents were going through a divorce so I boarded from 8-13. I absolutely loved it and it was by far the best bit of my education, in all senses. Moving home to go to a day school was dreadful and I really missed having all the extra curricular stuff on the doorstep and being surrounded by friends all the time. And had to deal with the now divorced parents, whose situation I had been genuiunely sheltered from at its worst. Bottom line is that it was the right school for me and I was happy to have no escape from it!

My DB's experience was a nightmare as it was the wrong school and he was stuck there 24/7. Once he changed to another though it was great and he cites it as the best time of his life.

Having said all of this, I can say, categorically, that my DD will never board. Apart from anything else, I'm too selfish and couldn't bear not to see her every day!

Cammelia · 18/09/2007 17:45

That's what I used to think poppy but I find that I feel less sentimental the closer to 13 my dd gets

Ditzymumofone · 18/09/2007 18:02

Mwanma - do you mean Feltonfleet on the A3. We have visited and its lovely, the weekly boarding option sounds good. We were both boarders, I hated it DH loved it. I think boys enjoy the access to sport etc. DH's cousin (girl) asked to board and loved it - its down to the individual.
I think its a good idea as I think the school day is long - getting to and fro can be foul and some kids like it. However I would really want to do the flexi option of home at the weekends.
Re South London non schools, I suspect you are in the same area as us - how far south would you go?

Flip

1 2 3