IF money was no object would you chose a state school or private?

[SlightlyMadSCAREYthing]

And I reiterate that this is a philosophical IF money was no object.

I have always felt strongly about sending my children to state school, support you local schools and all, but now DTDs are at school I am faltering about secondary (which is still a long way off). So just wondered on a philosophical level - where do you stand?

You see statistics where the majority of high flying uni grads are private but private pupils are a small proportion of all those educated. I can't help wanting to do my best for my DDs...not that I am ever likely to afford to send them all to private if I really did decide that I wanted to.

Mayfields is girls-only isn't it?
I don't have sons but I know some boys at Tonbridge who like sport but are also quite clever.

Yes Mayfield is girls only. We'll certainly look at Tonbridge nearer the time. A mixed school would be good but I don't think there are any.

I'm looking at sevenoaks for dd

(Cammelia - my dd is thrilled with her new private school,can you make the meet up 29 sept?)

1.Which one is she at Mabs
2. I will try

TBH I didn't chose DS's school because it was private, I chose it because it was the one that was better for him and his particular characteristics and circumstances.

I'm sure many mums with children at state schools in the area are as happy with their choice as I am with mine. That doesn't mean any of us is wrong. We all just chose what suited our needs better.

camellia - I know lots of people who love Sevenoaks but it's a bit of a trek from here. And I wouldn't want them to board full time.

(Cam -Hurst , and would love to see you)

mimsmum, your son's school sounds remarkably like my local private school - the name doesn't begin with T does it?

no, it's W but we also looked at a T which we liked a lot

Oh glad you are around mimsum (sorry for getting your name wrong!).

We are looking at W and T for next September! I hadn't realised W took so many from state primary. Are you happy with it?

(Apologies for the hijack)

Assuming these are the same W and T, of course!!!!!

St Leonards Mayfield is our closest girls school Norks. TBH im not sure about it. It seems a highly pressured environment, which I dont think would suit my dd`s. Didnt the deputy heads dd commit suicide a few years ago the day before she was due to start at Oxford?

Norks, Sevenoaks too far for day from me as well but so are all the good day schools. Dd has begun boarding 1 day per week at her prep to see if thats the direction we'll be going in. Looking at boarding fees we'll end up moving to France to be able to afford them anyway.

Sparkle - I know the deputy head of St Leonards Mayfield, she retired about 3 years ago and had been in post for several years. Her DD is very much alive - and actually works at the school. Perhaps it was a different member of staff?

If you ever see the schools prospectus, there is a photograph of their 'live crib' and the baby that Mary is holding is DD1.

ElenyaTuesday - we're in deepest, darkest south London if that makes it any clearer

Must of been somebody else then Duchess. It was definitely a senior member of staffs dd & it was around 2 or 3 years ago. I remember thinking how sad to take her own life after going through all the stress of exams & having her whole life ahead of her.
I know a lot of girls from our area have their names down for SLM. I would just be concerned of the sheer pressure on the girls to achieve perfection because nobody who goes there actually fails anything. I used to have their prospectus. I think its on their website. I will have a look out for your dd on there.

Ds's state school is fab, he's very happy there, and the Ofsted inspection rated it as 'outstanding' in every single category. So no, I wouldn't waste my money sending him somewhere inferior.

Although the PTA have just strong armed me into running the blasted bouncy castle at the autumn fair. Bet that wouldn't happen in the private sector.

Ah, mimsum, in an area with a shopping centre called W and a newer shopping centre called C? If so, these are the same schools.

Depends on the age of child. Primary probably not. I would check the OFSTED reports of all local schools and try the one with best report. I will consider sending my dd to boarding school at 12, as my DH is army and lots of moves of schools in secondary would ruin her education

we don't actually live there ElenyaTuesday, we're a short train ride further in, but yes that's the place

ds has only been there for 2 weeks, but so far he's been extremely positive about everything (except homework )

we ended up going for W rather than T partly because it's an easier journey for him (direct train rather than train and bus) and for certain reasons which are pertinent to ds and his situation (sorry to be cryptic ...) but we are very happy so far

if you're interested, book yourself onto an open afternoon rather than the bunfight that is the open morning

Thanks mimsum, the open morning is this Saturday - arghh! Glad to hear your ds is enjoying it (despite the homework ).

They're both really lovely schools - and all the boys at both seemed to be very positive about their education - and they hadn't just been 'cherry-picked' to say the right thing